B&C's Reactions to "Professional" Reviews

[bono_212]

HOLY shit. I think I might possibly disagree with every single thing said here:

M83: Oblivion OST | Album Reviews | Pitchfork

 

[u2popmofo]

Be careful! I got yelled at elsewhere for saying I disliked that review.

 

[Danny Boy]

Apparently they aren't fond of film scores. Whatevs.

 

[LemonMelon]

It'snotanM83albumIt'snotanM83albumIt'snotanM83album

 

[Danny Boy]

Every Danny Elfman film score ever has sucked for not sounding like Oingo Boingo.

 

[u2popmofo]

 

[bono_212]

Be careful! I got yelled at elsewhere for saying I disliked that review.

Oh, I forgot you mentioning that

Seriously though, what a horrible fucking review.

 

[u2popmofo]

I've listened to it a ton, I really like it. Two soundtracks are some of my most listened to pieces of music this year, Oblivion and Mogwai's Les Revenants soundtrack.

Didn't include them on the "favorite albums" list because they are soundtracks, but I love them both.

 

[bono_212]

I just don't understand why they're reviewing it as if it's all M83. The entire premise of their review is flawed from the beginning.

 

[bono_212]

MS MR: Secondhand Rapture | Album Reviews | Pitchfork

This is the second review I've seen calling MS MR a "tubmlr" band. Same as with Charli XCX, wtf does that even mean?

 

[Danny Boy]

Is it supposed to mean they've received too much blog hype?

Anyway, I really like both of those albums.

 

[bono_212]

Yeah, the 6.0 made me pretty sad as well, but I can deal with that.

I can't deal with "Tumblr Band".

 

[IWasBored]

I thought it meant their pictures are out there more than their music.

 

[bono_212]

I assumed it meant something along the lines of a "Random confabulation of whatever is on someone's mind at a given time, shared in bits and pieces."

 

[LemonMelon]

Boards Of Canada - Tomorrow’s Harvest | Music Review | Tiny Mix Tapes

Another keeper from TMT. If it weren't for the score, I wouldn't be able to tell you what they thought of it.

Oh shit, the final sentence

"The lasting impression I get from Tomorrow’s Harvest is that Boards of Canada have become a desultory, diminished force. It will surely sell millions."

IT SUCKS SO PEONS WILL DEFINITELY BUY IT JUST BECAUSE IT SUCKS EVEN THOUGH IT'S A FUCKING AMBIENT ALBUM AHAHAHAHA

 

[cobl04]

Fuck. How is it even possible to disappear that far up your own arse?

 

[LemonMelon]

I would send him and email and complain, but until someone gets the jaws of life, I don't think he'll be able to read it.

I truly cannot fathom someone agreeing with the "points" made in that review. It isn't clear or cogent enough to communicate to other lifeforms. I can't even picture someone who disagrees with it attempting to concede to aspects of it. "Oh yeah, hmm. That's a great point you made there. Yeah. Never thought of it that way. They have become hemmed in by their own aesthetic, kinda. Where is that cumulative intensity anyway? Fuck the contemporary shorn of relevance!"

 

[iron yuppie]

My impression is that TMT is deliberately impenetrable.

 

[bono_212]

Couldn't get past "turquoise warchalk, hexagonal hermeneutics"

 

[nielsgov]

Yeah that's almost Chinese to me. Too many words I don't know.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Anyone who uses the word 'hermeneutics' outside of a sociology/cultural studies thesis deserves to be shot.

 

[bono_212]

I'm usually pretty ok at looking at a word and being able to break it down to some understandable roots, but I've really got nothing out of that word besides knowing that tics means it's a method/way type thing.

 

[bono_212]

Oh my God, I just looked up what it meant. The irony is palpable. It's not the exact same definition, but damn was it close.

 

[gump]

It's the "hexagonal" that really bothers me in that sentence.

 

[IWasBored]

I think people who write like that should be required to speak like that. They'd get the shit kicked out of them for being giant douchebags, and spend too much time in the hospital to be able to write these reviews.

 

[Axver]

Anyone who uses the word 'hermeneutics' deserves to be shot.

Fixed.

 

[cobl04]

"some fucking type of hip-hop EDM gumbo shit" haha

Kanye West - YEEZUS Album Review | Dead End Hip Hop - YouTube

 

[LJT]

My cat could muster more insight by stepping out of his litter box and onto my laptop:

Lana Del Rey - Born to Die | Music Review | Tiny Mix Tapes
Hot Chip - In Our Heads | Music Review | Tiny Mix Tapes

They could barely be considered reviews...the Hot Chip one is bizarre, they just seem such an unlikely target for a critique of commercialisation and growing professionalism of music, there are plenty more obvious targets if you want to go down that avenue, plus it's just crass with all the $. The LDR review I don't really know what they are getting at, and deserving of no rating?

 

[bono_212]

Can this guy write all of Pitchfork's reviews? I only read two of them, but they were both pretty damn decent. Words that make sense next to each other, description I can understand, helpful criticism, highs and lows. Basically: What I expect from a music review.

 

[cobl04]

All our dreams have come true: now we can listen to Ryan Dombal. Pitchfork Podcast 25: Why Coldplay's New Album is Terrible | The Pitch | Pitchfork

Post how far you got through: I hit 2:52 and knocked myself out with a sledgehammer.