Great question!
I had to really contemplate this ? not being ?born again? so much as the very *foundations* of my until-then closet Christianity ? when I applied for seminary and they wanted an autobiography. So for me, it kinda looks like this:
Evangelical family, Sunday school and all that; I very earnestly asked Jesus ?into my heart? when I was about 11 ? comprehending nothing of real forgiveness at that age, but simply wanting Jesus to use me, to lead my life and make it ? sunnier, somehow.
I think I responded to Springsteen so strongly when I first heard him, because he invokes God in his art so very intensely, with a kind of desperation for redemption (Adam Raised a Cain, indeed!) ? I related to that at 17. That?s when I recognized how God may speak through the arts.
About twelve years later, I was renewed in my love for Christ when I got quite ill ? sudden and undiagnosed asthma, and believe me: when breathing itself is a struggle, you think a lot about God ? I was reading an anthology of the letters of Van Gogh: a ?failed? preacher, a late-blooming artist (same age as me at the time), and a self-confessed ?ecstatic? personality. I really identified with that, and with his passion for God. During that period, I came to Christ in a deeply personal, emotional way ? he approached my bedside, his love for me touched me profoundly, and my love for him quite took me by surprise, actually ? It was almost unnerving. But my ?attachment? to him, forged at that time, has never waned.
I guess I came to be born in him again, in a more mature way, when I finally was called to ministry. That time, it was like a betrothal, and I was just that giddy. With each phase in my relationship with Christ, I apprehend him more deeply, with greater awe and abject humility. Now I understand forgiveness ? grace ? and it makes me weak with gratitude and the desire to be his completely, to be used as he will.
Amen, brothers and sisters.
Deb
