I think my heart is hardened.

[cell]

For those of you who remember, I created a thread last year "why should i go to church?"

I was using another username at that time.

Well for the last 2 months, I've gone to church at least 2 times, and I found the first one a bit too loud, obnoxious. The pastor was screaming and yelling thruought the whole service. The people there were obviously excited, and full of faith. That experience has rubbed me the wrong way. I couldnt wait to get out of there. My poor girl, I literally ran out of the church when the service was over, holding my daughter's hand as if it was the last time I'd ever see her again. I was just relieved to be out of there.

Today I went to go see my daughter Daisy at her and her father's church. I was excited because she is on the praise and worship team, I recently discovered. I wanted to see how she did. Well, when I got there, I was shaking. I knew there would be some people that I haven't seen in a few years, not to mention my youth pastor from such a long time ago, who's now the pastor of that church. An old friend saw me, gave me a hug, and she whispered in my ear to take a few deep breaths, and that I would be ok as soon as I got in. She knew. And I love her for it. Well, she was right, it was ok. Very different from the first church I went to, but in the same mannerisms. I just felt better. My daughter was on the stage, shaking her tamborine, and she did wonderful. My heart was just melting from seeing her doing her thing. When she saw me, she was really surprised, and I know I told her that I was coming, so she might have forgotten. She ran off the stage and hugged me. She didn't want to leave. She decided that she would sit with me because she knew I was nervous. I felt bad that she interrupted her time up there because of my presence. My ex is an usher there, I should have told him to seat me in the back. After the service, I wanted to get outta there. I felt like I had to leave. I was getting nervous, even tho I felt ok during the service. I seen a few friends, it was great to hug them. My youth pastor, literally chased me down and gave me this huge bearhug, it felt wonderful. It was kind of funny to hear him yell out my name after the service, it felt so unreal. He's going to call me during the week to catch with me.

The thing that bothers me most, is that I dont feel anything, no excitement, no joy, when im at church. I know by my conviction, that I should go to a church where I feel safe at, but its just not in my heart. I feel that I have hardened too much. I feel like im gonna go to hell. Its not in me to worship or praise. I dont feel it. I don't have any kind of initiative to have any kind of relationship with God. Even though HE has blessed me over and over again when I don't even deserve it. My mother has told me I'm just ungrateful. Believe me, I am. I just have my own way of thanking God. Its just not by everyone else's standards. There's something wrong with me. I dont have it in me to go. I don't want to be in a church at all, but I'm doing this for my daughter. I promised her. I just hate this hypocrisy that I feel in me.

 

[adamswildhoney]

 

[Natztar]

Hey hun... you have to remember that God loves all his children. No matter how much we hurt him or disappoint him, He loves us for who we are. And if we come to Him and ask for forgiveness, he'll give it to us. You know that song that goes, "Amazing love, how can it be... that you my king would die for me?" Well THAT'S how much he loves us... that He'll even die for us so that we can spend eternity with Him if we ask Him into our lives.

I've believed in God ever since I was a kid, but I've always had insecure times, when I was in doubt. I totally agree with you that when I'm at church, I feel so wonderful and loved and ACTUALLY happy. When I was in doubt, I continued to go to church, and just BEING there made me feel so great... and during a song, I asked God that if he was real, to open up my eyes and heart and see Him. Today I so can't tell you how much God's been in my life and everything.

Ask God to open up your heart, and help you out. Remember that he always loves you no matter what.

 

[melon]

I don't think that Church is for everyone. It should be, but it only appeals to a very narrow subset of personality types. Either you go to a charismatic church, which seems insane to me, or you go to one where you're bored out of your mind; and, in every case, you get lectured to about how evil you are.

It's for that reason that I'm bored of church. In such a creative world, you'd think there could be a different way to "honor the Sabbath day."

Melon

 

[Elvis Presley]

I think there are many good alternatives to church. The first church was started in the same vein as house churches are today. Small groups of believers meeting regularly in homes and living thier lives together. God desires that we have a personal relationship with Him. And He also desires that we worship him and thank him for His blessings, not because He needs it, because He deserves it. But you have to believe it, if you truly do, then your desire will be to lay everything down for Him. I agree melon that church is not for everyone, at least church as the corporate establishment we are familiar with. But that doesnt mean we are not called to have fellowship with other believers, reach out to our communities and worship the Lord. Remember, church is not about the building or denomination, but rather what takes place.

Icelle, I got off topic a bit, but I hope some things I said made sense.....

-EP

 

[Natztar]

I agree with elvis.. that its not about the building or whatever, but what takes place. i don't believe that church is about getting lectured or being told how evil you are. Rather... it's about learning about God and pretty much finding yourself. To me church is my home, i love it... it's pretty much where i found true happines.. not any fake substitute "happiness" like getting stoned, or having alcohol, but actually living your life happy and with the spirit of God.

Sorry Icelle, too... I'm just adding to the off-topicness =(

 

[80sU2isBest]

Hi icelle,
First, I must ask, are you born again? If you are born again, then the Bible says that "If any man be born again, he is a new creation. The old has gone and all things are made new" (2 Cor. 5:17) If you are born again, the Holy Spirit lives within you, and the Bible says you are complete, lacking in nothing. Therefore, you DO want to praise God and fellowship with him, whether you feel like it or not. You see, emotions and feelings are Satan's battleground - I believe it is his number weapon against the Saints (and if you are a Christian, the Bible says you are a Saint). What the enemy does is twist people's emotions and try to cause them to think depressing thoughts. But the thing is, depressing thoughts are not from yourself, because as a Christian your new nature is that of Christ. But if Satan can get Christians to "feel bad" or to "feel depressed", he has them on the ropes - they are ineffectual. But here's teh truth - YOU CANNOT ALWAYS TRUST THOSE EMOTIONS - THEY ARE NOT AN INDICATOR OF THE TRUTH. The Bible says that peace, joy, love, kindness, etc., are the fruits of the spirit. Fear, loneliness, depression are tools of the devil. he will try to make us feel like we've somehow "lost our faith", because he wants to rob us of our joy that is ours in Christ Jesus. But this last year and a half, I have really been learning something; that if I am going to stay "walking in the spirit", I ahve got to "walk by faith, not by sight". That means that no matter how things look on the surface, no matter the circumstances, or how I might feel, I am learning to look past all that and focus my eyes on Jesus and the truth. The world tells me I'm a loser because my business isn't doing so great? Well, that's not what God says. God says I am more than a conqueror, I have victory in Jesus. Satan stirs up my emotions and tells me that I have somehow "lost my faith", - I say "No, it's not the truth. My new nature is the nature of Christ, I have the Holy Spirit living in and through me - how can He lose faith in himself?!" Satan tries to convince me to feel depressed? I won't have anything to do with it...the word says that peace, joy, love are mine. Let me reiterate - emotions are often twisted into lies from Satan.

So, here's my advice. Is the church a Bible-believing church? Do you have an "inner=knowing" that you should be there, despite what your emotions might say about it? If so, then take that step of faith; tell God "Lord, I don't feel like going to church, but I know that Satan can twist my emotions to get me to stop living in truth. But in my spirit, I sense that you want me to go. Therefore, I will go. Lord, I put my trust in you to keep me walking in the Spirit, and I aks you to open new doors to me through going to this church. Please Lord, bless my time at this church."

Anyway, that's my advice. I have lived through these things and am constantly having to put fath in the truth rather than relying on my feelings. That's what the "peace" that passes understanding is all about.

 

[cell]

Hi icelle,
First, I must ask, are you born again? If you are born again, then the Bible says that "If any man be born again, he is a new creation. The old has gone and all things are made new" (2 Cor. 5:17) If you are born again, the Holy Spirit lives within you, and the Bible says you are complete, lacking in nothing. Therefore, you DO want to praise God and fellowship with him, whether you feel like it or not. You see, emotions and feelings are Satan's battleground - I believe it is his number weapon against the Saints (and if you are a Christian, the Bible says you are a Saint). What the enemy does is twist people's emotions and try to cause them to think depressing thoughts. But the thing is, depressing thoughts are not from yourself, because as a Christian your new nature is that of Christ. But if Satan can get Christians to "feel bad" or to "feel depressed", he has them on the ropes - they are ineffectual. But here's teh truth - YOU CANNOT ALWAYS TRUST THOSE EMOTIONS - THEY ARE NOT AN INDICATOR OF THE TRUTH. The Bible says that peace, joy, love, kindness, etc., are the fruits of the spirit. Fear, loneliness, depression are tools of the devil. he will try to make us feel like we've somehow "lost our faith", because he wants to rob us of our joy that is ours in Christ Jesus. But this last year and a half, I have really been learning something; that if I am going to stay "walking in the spirit", I ahve got to "walk by faith, not by sight". That means that no matter how things look on the surface, no matter the circumstances, or how I might feel, I am learning to look past all that and focus my eyes on Jesus and the truth. The world tells me I'm a loser because my business isn't doing so great? Well, that's not what God says. God says I am more than a conqueror, I have victory in Jesus. Satan stirs up my emotions and tells me that I have somehow "lost my faith", - I say "No, it's not the truth. My new nature is the nature of Christ, I have the Holy Spirit living in and through me - how can He lose faith in himself?!" Satan tries to convince me to feel depressed? I won't have anything to do with it...the word says that peace, joy, love are mine. Let me reiterate - emotions are often twisted into lies from Satan.

So, here's my advice. Is the church a Bible-believing church? Do you have an "inner=knowing" that you should be there, despite what your emotions might say about it? If so, then take that step of faith; tell God "Lord, I don't feel like going to church, but I know that Satan can twist my emotions to get me to stop living in truth. But in my spirit, I sense that you want me to go. Therefore, I will go. Lord, I put my trust in you to keep me walking in the Spirit, and I aks you to open new doors to me through going to this church. Please Lord, bless my time at this church."

Anyway, that's my advice. I have lived through these things and am constantly having to put fath in the truth rather than relying on my feelings. That's what the "peace" that passes understanding is all about.

yes, i am a born again christian. i dont have a regular church i attend, but i am looking. im just not into those loud obnoxious types. the churches i have attended are bible-believing, yes.

i don't want to go to church. i dont want to worship, and i dont want to praise. i know what my emotions are. i felt this way for many years. i feel bad because its what i should do. i also want to remain true to myself and not become a hypocrite...which is what i already feel, but i promised my daughter i would start going again, so yes, i have a conflict of interest. im working on it. i thank God for everything He's blessed me with. im just not showy. i have always been a quiet person in church, however. but thank you for your encouragement, i appreciate it

 

[BostonAnne]

Icelle, I remember your old thread as you posted it when I first started attending Church last fall after not going since childhood. I made the commitment to get involved at a Church mainly because I want my children to have some religious education in case they would find comfort. I, too, want to know more about Religion. It has been a successful year for us, though the kids still would rather stay home. One of the highlights of the year for me was cooking for a soup kitchen. I never would have taken the time to see how I could lend a hand like that on my own.

I think Churches are a big extended family - and you probably don't want to share that family with your ex. (I wouldn't want to either!) Maybe that's why you feel your heart has hardened. You have to force yourself to detach from your Church family as your ex continues to go there and you feel the loss. Why feel all these warm emotions to the people that you know at your old Church when you have to leave it behind? It would seem natural to shut down and not feel anything. Don't feel guilty for not attending, most people take time off at some point in their lives.

Don't feel hurried to find a new church as you have promised your daughter. You could address your promise and explain that you need more time to find your new "home". If you feel you must keep your promise, I'm sure you'll find a church that will feel like home. There are so many out there and every one is different, even within denominations.

 

[80sU2isBest]

i don't want to go to church. i dont want to worship, and i dont want to praise. i know what my emotions are. i felt this way for many years. i feel bad because its what i should do. i also want to remain true to myself and not become a hypocrite...which is what i already feel, but i promised my daughter i would start going again, so yes, i have a conflict of interest. im working on it. i thank God for everything He's blessed me with. im just not showy. i have always been a quiet person in church, however. but thank you for your encouragement, i appreciate it

Hi again,

Before reading on, please read the Bible passages at the end of this post. They are about who we are in Christ, and they are an awesome encouragement.

Now, about my last post; I hope you didn't misunderstand me. I wasn't trying to say that these feelings aren't real. I know they're real. I often don't feel like going to church. But what I did say was that feelings can't always be relied on as an indicator of the truth. The truth is that as a born again Christian, you have the Holy Spirit of God within you. The truth is what you know, not what you feel. Here is an example of the distinction: Many times I have ?felt? worthless and ?felt? like a failure, but what I know is the exact opposite ? I am highly valued by God and His word says I am more than a conqueror and that I already have victory in Christ. In this example, I cannot allow myself to rely on my feelings ? I must look through those emotions and put my faith in what I know is true. Another example can be found in Christ himself. The Garden of Gethsemane shows us that Christ didn?t ?feel like? dying on the cross for us. He felt afraid, and he knew it would hurt. However, he knew the truth ? that it was God?s will-so he stood up and said ?I look past my emotions and focus on God?.

You said you don?t want to worship, you don?t want to praise. But that?s how you ?feel?. I have ?felt? like that before. But those are not truth. Truth is that as a Christian, it is in your very nature to praise God! Worship and praise aren?t things that are done just in church. You can worship and praise God here, there and everywhere. In fact, you have praised God here in this forum, by saying ?I thank God for everything He?s blessed me with?. What an awesome praise!

My whole point actually doesn?t have much to do with going to a worship service in a Church building. I really just want to encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus and the truth of what He says about you, because I know from experience that relying on my emotions can do great damage.

But the church issue does tie into all this. You said that you want to remain true to yourself and not become a hypocrite. But praising God is being true to yourself (your new nature in Christ), despite what you?re feeling. Even though you don?t feel like going to church, do you sense the Spirit telling you that you should attend a certain church? If so, you are not being a hypocrite if you don?t feel like going to that church, but go anyway. Hypocrisy is saying one thing, but doing another. If you say ?I don?t feel like going to church, but I sense from the Holy Spirit that it is the right thing, so I will do?, you are not being a hypocrite. In fact, it?s just the opposite. You are deciding to take a stand and do what God is telling you to do, despite the fact that the enemy is trying to create doubts in your emotions.

However, I am not advocating legalism, doing something out of obligation. Previously, I said that I often don?t feel like going to church. And I have to admit that sometimes when I do go, it?s out of obligation ? I say to myself ?oh well, I have to go, it?s expected of me, I am obliged to go?. And at that point, I might as well not even go. However, sometimes when I don?t feel like going, I am able to step outside my emotions and say ?Lord, I don?t feel like going to church today. But, I know that you are able to bless me at that church, and I might be a blessing to someone else, so I gladly choose to go and be used by you wherever you put me.? Now, that?s the right attitude to have.

In summary, I can?t say that God is calling you to attend a church. I do know that church attendance is not necessary for salvation. But I do encourage you to seek fellowship with other Christian, a time of prayer, worship and praise, even if it just 2 or 3 of you in your living room. I also encourage you to probe into the reasons you don?t want to go to church, and to make a decision based on that probing. Are they just emotions, and you feel that God is calling you to a church? If so, pray that you will be able to stand on faith in the truth and walk in his will. Or, is God not calling you to this church? If you pray about it and you sense from the Spirit that that is not the right place for you, don?t go. God doesn?t want you to go to the wrong church. If he has a church home for you, he?ll bring you there.

I just say all these things because I have been there, and I want to be of help. God bless you!

Take a look at some of the awesome things that the word says about Christians:

?Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; all things are made new?. (2 Cor. 5:17)

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me" (Gal. 2:20).

?Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin, for when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.? (Romans 6:6-7)

?Don?t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old evil nature and all its wicked deeds. In its place you have clothed yourselves with a brand-new nature that is continually being renewed as you learn more and more about Christ, who created this new nature within you.? (Colossians 3:9-10)

?But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, [even] to them that believe on his name:? (John 1:12)

?And He put R64 all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head R65 over all things to the church, which is His body, R66 the fullness R67 of Him who fills R68 all R69 in all.? (Ephesians 1:22-23)

and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

?For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.? (Colossians 3:3)

? In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the sins of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, buried with Him in baptism, in which you also were raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead. And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it. ? (Colossians 2:10-15)

 

[foray]

I don't think that Church is for everyone. It should be, but it only appeals to a very narrow subset of personality types. Either you go to a charismatic church, which seems insane to me, or you go to one where you're bored out of your mind; and, in every case, you get lectured to about how evil you are.

It's for that reason that I'm bored of church. In such a creative world, you'd think there could be a different way to "honor the Sabbath day."

Melon

Ditto


foray

 

[BostonAnne]

I don't think that Church is for everyone. It should be, but it only appeals to a very narrow subset of personality types. Either you go to a charismatic church, which seems insane to me, or you go to one where you're bored out of your mind; and, in every case, you get lectured to about how evil you are.

It's for that reason that I'm bored of church. In such a creative world, you'd think there could be a different way to "honor the Sabbath day."

Melon

Melon, I have to say that the Church I am attending is different. It is a traditional New England church that follows a worship program. Sometimes the hymns seem like no one in the world could really follow successfully. But there is something about the pastors at my church that brings a certain energy. There is a huge percentage of children attending and there is a brief Children's sermon before the children leave for Sunday School. It is very enjoyable to hear the stories they tell to teach children about God. The sermon is also very enjoyable to listen to. (it can be boring occasionally). The program follows through quickly, and during the monthly Communion service we end it by joining hands and singing the Lord's Prayer.

I also don't feel the lecture about how Evil I am, as the message is that we are all saved by God's Grace. The church does assume that all of us are broken and we do a group confession weekly. The stories/sermons focus on the helping one another get to a safer, fairer world and ties it to following Jesus/God. The sermons also praise the great things Jesus did and admires people like MLK.

I grew up attending a Catholic church, hated it and didn't attend any church for years. I joined a Protestant Church last fall and is a much better match for me.

 

[80sU2isBest]

You know, I get sick of hearing the "we're all lowly sinners" stuff, also. That's not what the Bible says about Christians. The Bible says we are clean before our God, that he has given us the righteousness of Christ. I'm not saying we don't sin. We do, but we don't have to. Because of our new nature, we are no longer pre-disposed to sin. Our identity is no longer found in sin. Our new identity is Christ. The bible refers to Christians - all Christians- as Saints.

 

[Natztar]

mm.. i think everyone should find a church that suits them. If you feel uncomfortable at the church your at.. Icelle, try another. The first church I went to and grew up in didn't do it for me. Everyone except for about 5 kids who weren't even the same age as me, were over 40. I moved to a bigger and more aimed for the youth church,
and it has been amazing there. Our worship band goes hard out every sunday night and our youth pastor is the funniest lovable guy. I don't really like churches that use prayers that are all written out before-hand using really complicated language, then singing hymns using lots of King James versioned words... it might work for other people, but not for me... so that's why it's important to find a church that you really like and feel comfortable in... and know that your relationship with God will grow there. I think that there is a church out there for every person. And a church may not even be a building, or a place... what a church is is a group of people, coming to worship and learn about God. That's all it is.

 

[foray]

A friend goes hiking in the jungle with the primary purpose of worshipping God. That's his church.

foray

 

[anitram]

A friend goes hiking in the jungle with the primary purpose of worshipping God. That's his church.

foray

My grandmother once said to me, "Every time you do the right thing, a good thing, you are in church." And now, I see what she meant.

For me, a mass is 1 hour out of 7 days. It's the other 167 hours in the week I'm more worried about, that's where you've got time to worship in your own way, to make a significant contribution to the world you live in. That's more church to me than Sunday morning, but we are all different and we all have to find our own path.

 

[truecoloursfly]

icelle,
I'm curious: you say you "made a promise" to your daughter that you would go to church. What was the underlying reason for that promise? what were you promising to achieve, or create, to what end? It evidently wasn't specifically a "come to church WITH me, Mommy" kind of promise ... was it, by any chance, a promise to get back to God? To make more time for God?

Obviously, setting a good example for her is very important to you. So -- if God is indeed central in your day-to-day life, if you feel gratitude to God in an intimate, personal way -- you may show your daughter some of the *myriad* ways to praise and worship inside your very own house. (Every time I babysit my godson, I sing U2 songs and bluegrass hymns to him.)
You might identify those ways in your own life in which you silently, discreetly thank God, or marvel at God ... underline those moments in your mind, and then share them in a more deliberate way with your daughter.
Just don't belittle your own way of remembering your Creator. Recognize your own forms of praise for what they are, and your own forms of fellowship. Your daughter is a lucky girl to have already a nurturing church family, AND a parent a little less conventional but no less pious. Let us sing to God, indeed, the other 167 hours of the week.

Deb

 

[cell]

My daughter wants me to be part of a church community, and yes, it has to do with getting back to God also. Setting a good example for her is very important to me...I read to her from her childrens' Bible every night, and she prays. Something about a little girl's faith does inspire me in more ways I can imagine. I'm getting there, but I'm going to take my time. Boston Anne, you hit the nail on the head with your first reply...I felt uncomfortable sharing my time in church with my ex.

I just found out recently my ex left his church, saying his pastor had his control issues out of hand once again. I wasn't surprised, but was disappointed. Based on that decision, I am returning to my old church in Whittier, where I grew up. Its not just about the building...im sorry I didnt clarify before, but its about past experiences with this same pastor and his control issues. Some of my friends would be so bold as to say that he ran a cult-like ministry. When I was part of that youth ministry, I wasn't really fazed by all the control issues, mainly because I really didn't care. I wasn't much use after I had taken a job with a record store...a big no-no with the pastor. He made a big deal about it and preached about the evils of "secular music" in his sermon one night. I left shortly after. I was humiliated.

Why my ex returned to that church, is something I'll have to trust God for the answers. It was good for him while it lasted, I'll say that much. My daughter is ok with this, and that was my main concern.

 

[melon]

I wasn't much use after I had taken a job with a record store...a big no-no with the pastor. He made a big deal about it and preached about the evils of "secular music" in his sermon one night. I left shortly after. I was humiliated.

Bah...what kind of pastor is this? Judging you for this and making blanket assumptions about people who listen to popular music? And then having the audacity to cast a few stones in church? You're better off leaving this quack.

Follow your conscience.

Melon

 

[80sU2isBest]

I agree with melon on this.

 

[TripThruUreWires]

I think there are many good alternatives to church. The first church was started in the same vein as house churches are today. Small groups of believers meeting regularly in homes and living thier lives together. God desires that we have a personal relationship with Him. And He also desires that we worship him and thank him for His blessings, not because He needs it, because He deserves it. But you have to believe it, if you truly do, then your desire will be to lay everything down for Him. I agree melon that church is not for everyone, at least church as the corporate establishment we are familiar with. But that doesnt mean we are not called to have fellowship with other believers, reach out to our communities and worship the Lord. Remember, church is not about the building or denomination, but rather what takes place.

Icelle, I got off topic a bit, but I hope some things I said made sense.....

-EP

this is truly an excellent post EP!

icelle, i believe there is much truth behind these statements.

perhaps you can have others, or even some of us here, pray for the Holy Spirit to renew or revive a passion for Christ in your life.

 

[Bigrabbit]

Well, I my first meeting with Jesus I had 28 years ago. Through all these times I have been into several churches. These churches matched my heart at that particular moment.
The last community had a "lot of faith", with a very charismatic pastor. But all I see it was the pastor, the whole pastor and nothing but the pastor. Allright he was talking about Jesus, but every sunday (and other days) when I went to church, I got more and more the feeling of "what I'm doing here ?".
We (me and my wife) left this church and the only thing the pastor said was: "I'm not happy but I respect your descision". What ? You only can respect it ? Where's your pastors heart ?
Is that all you can say ? Shut up please !
Now my wife and I are seeking contacts with other lonely christians and christian families. And this works fine now.

My conclusion: sometimes it is good to be alone with Jesus. He will never forsake you. And he is the only one you can trust.

 

[Bigrabbit]

I love Jesus !

 

[julles]

----i think it is better to be a spirtual person moreso than a religous one----

 

[sarah_U27]

I don't think that Church is for everyone. It should be, but it only appeals to a very narrow subset of personality types. Either you go to a charismatic church, which seems insane to me, or you go to one where you're bored out of your mind; and, in every case, you get lectured to about how evil you are.

It's for that reason that I'm bored of church. In such a creative world, you'd think there could be a different way to "honor the Sabbath day."

Melon

Melon, keep trying churches. (Until you find some loving fellowship w/other believers!)
We need each other. Just pray about it. God will lead you to the right church.

 

[verte76]

I agree that fellowship with other Christians is a good thing, but remember, it's no sin to be shy. I'm shy as heck, and I think our secular culture penalizes shyness. This burns me up! God didn't make us with a cookie-cutter. He created us different. I'm Catholic and attend mass regularly. I also go to prayer meetings. But I don't expect my Christian lifestyle to fit all Christians. Ultimately the thing that really matters is your relationship with Christ. He doesn't push away shy people.

 

[sarah_U27]

I've often felt separated from people at church. Other times I've been more "connected". The connection seems to occur best when I jump in & start helping out AND when I'm spending time with Jesus through prayer, meditation, thanks etc.

 

[sarah_U27]

I love what you have to say!

Hi icelle,
First, I must ask, are you born again? If you are born again, then the Bible says that "If any man be born again, he is a new creation. The old has gone and all things are made new" (2 Cor. 5:17) If you are born again, the Holy Spirit lives within you, and the Bible says you are complete, lacking in nothing. Therefore, you DO want to praise God and fellowship with him, whether you feel like it or not. You see, emotions and feelings are Satan's battleground - I believe it is his number weapon against the Saints (and if you are a Christian, the Bible says you are a Saint). What the enemy does is twist people's emotions and try to cause them to think depressing thoughts. But the thing is, depressing thoughts are not from yourself, because as a Christian your new nature is that of Christ. But if Satan can get Christians to "feel bad" or to "feel depressed", he has them on the ropes - they are ineffectual. But here's teh truth - YOU CANNOT ALWAYS TRUST THOSE EMOTIONS - THEY ARE NOT AN INDICATOR OF THE TRUTH. The Bible says that peace, joy, love, kindness, etc., are the fruits of the spirit. Fear, loneliness, depression are tools of the devil. he will try to make us feel like we've somehow "lost our faith", because he wants to rob us of our joy that is ours in Christ Jesus. But this last year and a half, I have really been learning something; that if I am going to stay "walking in the spirit", I ahve got to "walk by faith, not by sight". That means that no matter how things look on the surface, no matter the circumstances, or how I might feel, I am learning to look past all that and focus my eyes on Jesus and the truth. The world tells me I'm a loser because my business isn't doing so great? Well, that's not what God says. God says I am more than a conqueror, I have victory in Jesus. Satan stirs up my emotions and tells me that I have somehow "lost my faith", - I say "No, it's not the truth. My new nature is the nature of Christ, I have the Holy Spirit living in and through me - how can He lose faith in himself?!" Satan tries to convince me to feel depressed? I won't have anything to do with it...the word says that peace, joy, love are mine. Let me reiterate - emotions are often twisted into lies from Satan.

So, here's my advice. Is the church a Bible-believing church? Do you have an "inner=knowing" that you should be there, despite what your emotions might say about it? If so, then take that step of faith; tell God "Lord, I don't feel like going to church, but I know that Satan can twist my emotions to get me to stop living in truth. But in my spirit, I sense that you want me to go. Therefore, I will go. Lord, I put my trust in you to keep me walking in the Spirit, and I aks you to open new doors to me through going to this church. Please Lord, bless my time at this church."

Anyway, that's my advice. I have lived through these things and am constantly having to put fath in the truth rather than relying on my feelings. That's what the "peace" that passes understanding is all about.

absolutely love this.
some of these very issues & answers have been dawning for awhile...