I may have met my match...*Advice needed*

[Ali Rose]

OK here I am up at 4:30 am restless...I come to you fellow Christians who have had/are in Christian relationships/marriages. I kid you not I met this great guy just last Sunday when i finally guts up and went to the pre-service singles group...Not exactly intending for this to happen, we sort of latched on to each other right away...we've been out 3 times this week INcluding bible studys, dinner, movie, Worship services, etc.

We have alot in common though there is TONS more we need to know about each other, we got into a pretty deep discussion about relationships last night and it eventually led to the topic of us dating...

I told him he had definately peaked my interest but I thought we still needed to get to know each other alot more. I said I really want to take this slow and be SURE before i jump into anything...and I think we need to do lots of praying and give this lots more time, which he was totally ok with

I'd just really like to know what some of you may have gone through before knowing if you were right for each other, and maybe what steps you took to be sure, I'm really very new to Christian "relationships" and i SOOO wanna do it right and be SURE and not hurt anybody, though he has definately been permiating my thoughts more and more every day.

Perhaps I'll try to get some sleep now and maybe give more details later, but any help on this matter would be appreciated. Thanks for listening! Hope you can help!!!

 

[80sU2isBest]

First thing I would stress is this:

Be his friend first. The "chemistry" will wear off eventaully, but if it's meant to be, the love won't. No need to be in a hurry, but you already know that.

Secondly, watch how he treats his family. That can be a very good indicator of what kind of guy he is. If he treats his family like doo doo, you can almost bet he'll eventually treat you like doo doo.

Thirdly, and this the biggest thing, watch him and see if you see Jesus in him. As Christians, we are new creations, and the Holy Spirit lives inside us. The word tells us that our lives are hidden in Christ. HIS life is the only one we have now, and the way to ive the Christian life successfully is to let Him live through us, not take it upon ourselves to do what we "think" is right for us. How is that done? By realizing that we are new creations in Christ,a nd acting as if we are what we really are - people who have the naure of Christ. If you watch him, and you see many strongholds of sin in his life that he doesn't seem to care about; ex: anger, lust, hatred, wrath, greediness, unkindness, etc., that's probably a good indicator that while he may be a Christian, he doesn't really care to let God live through him. In my opinion, it is better to never marry at all, then to marry someone who doesn't serve the Lord. We are not perfect in the flesh of course, but just keep your eyes open for the warning signs.

Mike

 

[adamswildhoney]

First Tiff I just want to say congrats on finding your match

Second, I would watch and see how he treats his family, friends and people around him. That will be a very big indicator on how he will treat you.

 

[Ali Rose]

Thanks so much guys. So far all these bases seem to be covered. I've met his parents too. I've met all his friends. Everyone seems to love him. He IS a very kind person...probably even more so than me. I'm quite sure he'll treat me like a queen, not that thats what i think i even deserve...But yes. again. I plan on taking this very slowly.

Non Christians think i'm crazy when i tell them we've been out on 3 dates and havent kissed. But I dont plan to for quite some time. I want to be best friends first. Literally. There is absolutely no rush. If its meant to be it'll be. Right?

GAH!! The thought of this actually working out hasnt even sunk in yet. It doesnt even seem real. I mean...what if..WHAT IF...this guy ends up being my husband some day? Kinda weirds me out...

OK time for a nap to make up for lost sleep last night.

 

[bonosloveslave]

That's great that you guys are consciously trying to take this slow - believe me, it will probably get really difficult. It may mean making a conscious effort *not* to spend every possible waking minute with each other. Make sure you (Tiff) are having your own personal quiet time every day to be praying about God's will for your life, and not just in regards to this relationship. I know now that Karl and I were meant to be together, but God put me through a test similar to what Abraham went through with Isaac, in being willing to give him up to God totally and completely - *really* hard, but God rewards our faithfulness. I'm really happy for you sweetie

 

[nbcrusader]

I know now that Karl and I were meant to be together, but God put me through a test similar to what Abraham went through with Isaac, in being willing to give him up to God totally and completely - *really* hard, but God rewards our faithfulness.

My wife and I went through a similar experience - now we've been married 13 years. BLS is correct - God must truly come first, not just in name, but in your heart.

 

[Ali Rose]

Thanks guys. I'm really glad I have all of you to come to. You give great advice.

I'll use it all.

 

[forbonou2]

oh, 80's an ncrusader..u r soo right! And so smart! right on! Anyway, 'nothing that time will not tell'...! If #1,2,3, are covered..time will be your friend! You will see clearly! And, God Bless your relationship...'Iron sharpens iron'!

 

[melon]

Ah...love. What a nice feeling...

Melon

 

[sulawesigirl4]

girrrrrl, you had better be ready to tell all when we go out tonite. I shall save my advice for then. But suffice it to say, I think great things have been said already. Go slow, watch how he acts around others, and see what happens. Can't wait to catch up with you!