exploring the Call

[truecoloursfly]

Begging your indulgence, guys, since I don't know how this will translate. I just know that if anybody will get this, you will. I've had some big currents moving in my life these last few months, and MacPhisto, believe it or not, has helped me navigate them (along with this forum). In mysterious ways, indeed. Thanks for listening. -- Deb D

I Can't Help Falling

Yesterday I danced
with my Redeemer
who comes to me like a Lover
(His touch makes me weak
His Love makes me weep)

I listened to Ella but
I heard no music but Him

The afternoon sun set the maple floors alight
As if on my knees, I danced
in adoration.


Yesterday I danced
with the Demon (in me)
In a rapture, the two of us
wrapped in God's arms
The Devil and me,
in peace and
adoration.

He looked at me
I looked at him
"I'll never tell," I said
He smiled at me wistfully
for my lie
Then together we turned and said
Take my hand
Then we bowed our heads and said
Take my whole life, too...

------------------
I wanna walk with you along an unapproved road

the greatest frontman in the world - by truecoloursfly: http://www.atu2.com/news/article.src?ID=1575

[This message has been edited by truecoloursfly (edited 05-22-2002).]

 

[oliveu2cm]

Originally posted by truecoloursfly:
Can't Help Falling

Yesterday I danced
with my Redeemer
who comes to me like a Lover
(His touch makes me weak
His Love makes me weep)

...

He looked at me
I looked at him
"I'll never tell," I said
He smiled at me wistfully
for my lie
Then we both turned and said
Take my hand
Then we bowed our heads and said
Take my whole life, too...

Wow. Those were my *favorite* parts.. I loved it Deb. Thanks so much for sharing.

I love how U2's art inspires other people's art.

It is intruiging, albiet scary, to admit to your own "Macphisto" .. that's why those above lines touched me so much.

Carrie

-i always post too quickly lol...
I also love how you incorporated Macphisto's song "I can't help falling in love with you" into this piece, and even titling it VERY cleverly. Just cutting those words where you did says a Lot about who is singing them and where the speaker is coming from in what you wrote, supported by what s/he goes on to say.

Perhaps, even after all that.. that being all the glamour, glitz, gold, applause, greed, his pride, arrogance etc, he just can't help falling in love. A notion by itself wrapped solely up in God, who invented and defines love. Imagine a devil saying he Loved someone... it really makes you think he is inside crying for help and burdened with regret.

------------------
"Yours is the heaven that lies in the common dust,
and you are there for me, you are there for all."
~Rabindra Rachnavali

*Take Me Higher*


[This message has been edited by oliveu2cm (edited 05-22-2002).]

 

[oliveu2cm]

I am curious as to the title of this thread, too......

 

[mebythesea]

Originally posted by truecoloursfly:

Yesterday I danced
with the Demon (in me)
In a rapture, the two of us
wrapped in God's arms
The Devil and me,
in peace and
adoration.

Thank you for sharing this. I am moved by your image of dancing to God's music with your own inner MacPhisto.

 

[80sU2isBest]

Very artistic writing, truecolorsfly. Nice method of blending in Presley's lyrics at the end.
I do have a question, though - what do you mean by "the demon (in me)", and why are you dancing with him?

 

[truecoloursfly]

Aw, Carrie -- if ever they decide some sweet day to teach Deb's Poetry in some college lit. class, you better be the one to teach it. That was lovely, thanks.

I didn't mean to be coy with the thread title. I just wanted the poem to be where this story started. It is, in part, a Feedback story.

I've mentioned elsewhere that I had a rough Christmas, so soon after my Dad's death. New Year's found me existentially adrift. Well, the first weekend of January -- Epiphany, fittingly -- I had one. An epiphany.

My lifework is in ministry.
That weekend is when I first found this forum, The Goal is Soul, and also the first time I read Stocki's website. Sitting at my computer, I was thunderstruck by how plain it all was all of a sudden: I didn't have to sell my rock'n'roll bohemian soul, after all, to serve God and His people officially.
I suppose my life has been my ministry in many small "disguised" ways, and I'd long fantasized about doing spiritual work, but never reconciled it with my nonconformist ways. For the last 12 years I've worked in a supermarket, waiting to learn what I wanted to be when I grew up, you know?
A minister.

Feedback has played a great part in all of this, because I've gotten to share and develop enough of my ideas with some very soulful and articulate people, and thus learned that there is a place for this kind of spiritual dialogue, that it isn't all the stuff of my conservative childhood church. I could hardly wait to talk about it here, but I needed to wait until it was real...
Anyway, in my religious-studies shopping, I found my way to an open house at the School of Theology here in town, which they called "Exploring the Call," was thrilled with what I encountered there, and set about my application. (Special Admission to their Master's Program.) Yesterday, they notified me that I've been accepted. In that piece of paper, I felt like I was holding my new, and real, life in my hands.
It's a long haul -- 4 or 5 years at LEAST, and more if I decide to do a doctorate. But I don't care. I will be working "overground" finally, will express my belief in music and the arts, in God's house. (And believe you me, U2 will be part of my very first service!) In MacPhisto, I see the people I long to serve, the people who are secretly lonely for God, lost among their golden toys... and I hear my own plea: Take my whole life, too...
I am so pumped these days, I'm like a woman in love. Truly. *gad* I've gone on, but I had to confess myself at last. LOL How I live my life has changed not at all -- but everything's changed, you know?

Open up your heart
Feel the Love you've got
Everlasting Love

This Love will last forever...

humbly,
Deb D

 

[oliveu2cm]

First of all, a great big congratulations to you Deb! It is *so* inspiring to read your story.. gives me hope I'll figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life lol!

I was curoius about the title of the thread because.. yeah I thought it was about the "Calling" as in being called to work for God but that wasn't mentiond so I wasn't sure if there was another meaning I hadn't gotten- so thanks for clarifying!

and I'd love to teach Deb's Poetry!!

In MacPhisto, I see the people I long to serve, the people who are secretly lonely for God, lost among their golden toys... and I hear my own plea: Take my whole life, too...

Gahh I love this, that line!

The song reminded me of what Bono had to say about his interpretation:
"I've always loved [Can't Help Falling In Love]; and I wanted to give it a different interpretation to Elvis', which I always felt was down on one knee - like, 'Take my hand, take my whole life too' - I always felt he was at the altar. Whereas I was interested in the second verse - which was, 'Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?' - which doesn't sound like somebody who's getting married! So I thought, this is interesting, I'll play the Catholic-guilt version. So that was my spin on the song... hough the angels do arrive at the end to rescue the day - I hope!"-Bono, 1992, Zoo Radio

*whisper* I like yours better Deb!

Congratulations again!!

------------------
"Yours is the heaven that lies in the common dust,
and you are there for me, you are there for all."
~Rabindra Rachnavali

*Take Me Higher*

 

[mebythesea]

Deb, I'm an Episcopal priest. I was almost sure this was what the poem meant but wanted to wait for you to say it. You are in for one of the greatest adventures of your life.
Let me know if there's anything I can tell you privately.
Beth (mebythesea)

 

[sulawesigirl4]

mebythesea, would you be so kind as to email me at sulawesigirl@yahoo.com ? I?ve some questions that I would love to run by you.

 

[truecoloursfly]

mebythesea --
I believe we've almost "met" before...

Thanks for the offer, yes, please! dabcd@mdi.ca

Deb D

 

[truecoloursfly]

Originally posted by 80sU2isBest:
I do have a question, though - what do you mean by "the demon (in me)", and why are you dancing with him?

80s, I wasn't neglecting your question, I've just had to contemplate my answer a bit. I read with great interest Carrie's thread on grace and sin (I was just unable to post at the time), and it's somewhat tied up in that...
I have a healthy respect for what Jung called the shadow-self -- I believe that's where "sin" dwells. I also believe that sin and evil exist precisely to the extent we feel separate from God. When we remember we are of God's body, we will live "right with God." The body is God's classroom. But when we forget, and feel as if we are entities unto ourselves, we will be ruled by the animal senses. The reality of our mortal consciousness is, we seldom remember God every minute, and are but a minute away from misperceiving our own being -- from selfishness, greed, or lust. I dance with the devil every day, by means of simply living in my skin. The "devil" is my animal self, living in fear and self-interest (and loneliness). My Soul-Self, however, the real me...chooses to let God lead the dance.

I hope I've answered the question...