But there is a difference between a loving rebuke and juding someone. I have found that a huge number of fellow Christians cannot see this difference. We are called to stay in the trenches, judgement is an action which separates and makes a distinction between judge and judged. I have found in my experience that so many people cannot hate the sin and yet still love the sinner. The only time you separate yourself from someone exhibiting unrepentant immoral behavior is when said behavior is negatively affecting you or others. Other than that you stick it out. Yet how many church goers frequent the unchurched? not a lot. The organized church has a history of leaving the "sinners" to themselves not wanting to get their hands dirty or the sensibilities ruffled. How many people in the pews have gobe out of their way to try talking to drug addict on the street, not to preach a sermon but to simply love them and try to help them help themselves. Again I don't know any. And that includes myself. There is almost a cult of appearing virtuous rather than being virtuous. If you are virtuous then the appearance comes with it.
And you don't need to be a bombastic preacher spewing doctine to impact hearts. Bono's subtlety and is rufusal to be be an in your face Christian have long been criticised. Yet in my experience with most of people overt attempts to bring someone to God almost always backfire. It's surprising what simple statements like the fact that you do your best to go to a church regularly and read your Bible regularly, can have. Knowing when to speak and how to tailor your message to your audience are crucial skills. One speaks to a seeker and a skeptic in entirely different ways, and in my experience it is best to assume everyone is a skeptic at first, if they are a seeker it will become evident fairly soon. Going the other direction can quickly put a number of people on the defensive and create barriers. Fiery evangelism will always have its place but not for people who have to first be shown that they have need of a Saviour. And in our society that is quite a sizeable population, well in the majority I'd say.
Thus it becomes all the more imperative to avoid judgement as people are very unlikely to listen to someone who is judging them. Telling someone that you believe certain behaviors or attitudes of theirs are wrong will at most create a difference of opinion that if the other person is mature will at worst result in an agreement to disagree. Judgement produces a barrier because by definition it establishes that you are better than the other.
. thrillme and Blacksword made excellent points, too.
