sulawesigirl4
Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS
This is something I wrote a few years ago at a time that I was going through a lot of internal struggles with where I felt I "ought" to be spiritually. As such, there is probably a pretty thick mood of self-condemnation. But in any case, I was curious to get opinions, thoughts, reactions from this particular group of folks.
April Fool
Perhaps I know the cure
The cure to my disease,
But to acknowledge it
Would force me to my knees.
I?d have to give up things
I fiercely want to keep,
But as it is, I have no peace.
Not even in my sleep.
And yet the tighter that I grasp
The harder that I hold,
The things that used to give me warmth
Now keep me strangely cold.
But like an addict, still I crave
My empty, guilty pleasures
And in my stubbornness I horde
My tarnished, ugly treasures.
So why do I refuse to take
The peace that could be mine?
Why do I struggle on and on
Pretending I am fine?
Perhaps it is because of pride.
I hate to admit need.
I?ve built my life with my two hands
Self-sufficiency my creed.
Acknowledging I could be wrong
Is galling in the least,
But on my own I cannot tame
The nature of my beast.
So, will the web that I have spun
Still keep me firmly mired?
The futile struggle given up
Because I?ve grown so tired?
Deep down I know there?s only One
To pull me from the filth.
Could it be that through surrender
I?ll truly gain my self?
April 1, 2000
April Fool
Perhaps I know the cure
The cure to my disease,
But to acknowledge it
Would force me to my knees.
I?d have to give up things
I fiercely want to keep,
But as it is, I have no peace.
Not even in my sleep.
And yet the tighter that I grasp
The harder that I hold,
The things that used to give me warmth
Now keep me strangely cold.
But like an addict, still I crave
My empty, guilty pleasures
And in my stubbornness I horde
My tarnished, ugly treasures.
So why do I refuse to take
The peace that could be mine?
Why do I struggle on and on
Pretending I am fine?
Perhaps it is because of pride.
I hate to admit need.
I?ve built my life with my two hands
Self-sufficiency my creed.
Acknowledging I could be wrong
Is galling in the least,
But on my own I cannot tame
The nature of my beast.
So, will the web that I have spun
Still keep me firmly mired?
The futile struggle given up
Because I?ve grown so tired?
Deep down I know there?s only One
To pull me from the filth.
Could it be that through surrender
I?ll truly gain my self?
April 1, 2000