You know you're a redneck if your life sounds like a country song. Okay, here goes...
(tl;dr - check the spoilers! The last one sums everything up!)
One of my best friends has been married to a guy since last fall and has only spent 5 weeks with him, and only five of those days as a married couple. She met a guy over the internet and fell in love with him, and went to Gambia (of all places), spent a month with him there, and then married him five days before her flight home. It's been seven months and still she's can't get him into the country. I'm spending alot of energy trying to keep her spirits up, and I'm there for everything she has to go through with immigration.
Now, over a week ago, my neighbor's apartment caught fire. That same day, that same neighbor's dog (Weezer, the daschund), who spent more time at my apartment than hers (staying overnight even), was put to sleep because the neighbor had taken him with her to a friend's house the day before, and there the dog got into some rat poison mixed with hamburger. I found him after the fire on my bed, shitting blood, and his gums were pure white and ice cold. I called the landlord, who had been present at the time of the fire and had gone to get more fire extinguishers, and he came back and took the dog the the vet and there was nothing they could do. If the fire had happened two days before, he would have been my dog now, because the family is now staying in a hotel.
So, during the fire, MY apartment got filled with black smoke, and I wasn't even done cleaning up after that (I mopped my tiny kitchen floor like 20 times before I got all the tracked-in soot up.) Then, a couple days later, I take my cat to the vet and spend $140 that I don't really have to spend. A couple days later, my other best friend calls and asks me to go to the emergency with her because she's having chest pains. So I leave with her at 8:30 at night and return at 2 AM (she was not admitted) to find that my door had been kicked in and my $300 camera and about $100 worth of tools had been stolen. Apparently, no one heard or saw anything, even though the door was kicked in so hard, I found pieces of the doorframe in the living room. Good thing I always take my laptop with me, wherever I go.
Okay, that was last Friday. The first friend I mentioned lets me move in with her in her tiny apartment ("until my husband comes" - which I am helping her with),
and things are going decently. I am flat broke, but at least I have enough cigarettes. I am throwing away so many things, it's crazy. I am giving away 99% of my furniture. The great thing about moving is getting rid of all the clutter in your life.
At least, my friend's letting me have my third best friend (my cat Tiger) with me. He's a good cat even though he's a bit aggressive - the measure of his contentment is how many scratch marks I have on my hand. (He's apparently very happy with the move.) }
~
Then we come to last night. The second friend I mentioned (the one I went to the ER with) went back to the ER again, this time with her boyfriend. I told them to call me and let me know what's going on. She didn't look good.
Now, I have been using my cell phone nigh constantly to move and disconnect services, calling pawnshops, trying to arrange to move the one couch I am keeping (so I have somewhere to sleep), etc. The friend I moved in with has been using my phone too (unlimited minutes and all), and last night it just shut itself off and just won't come back on. Crap.
So 20 mins later, while I'm researching my phone problem on the internet, suddenly my computer gets hijacked. I don't even know what website I went to that was the wrong one. Thanks Google. I got those cascading error messages (kinda pretty actually), and long story short, spent an hour getting rid of whatever got hold of me.
Then I hear a cat fight outside, and open the door. My cat races in and jumps up in the window. I go over to see if he's okay, and he attacks me before I even touch him (first time he's bitten me through the skin). I just left him alone for a few minutes, and he came over and apologized.
After not hearing from the boyfriend all night (I did send my friend an email), he knocks on the door at 7AM today and gives me an update. She got two units of blood and they admitted her. He said she was okay (feeling better), so I spent all day at my old apartment clearing it out. Then the boyfriend comes and visits me and tells me she's having emergency surgery tomorrow. He leaves and after loading my other friend's car, I bike over to the hospital. She looked good, we talked, and the boyfriend offers me a ride home.
We stop at my friend's apartment (it's at same small apartment comlex I'm staying in now) so I can get a couple of things I had left there over the weekend. He goes into the bedroom to get some clothes (he's been at the hospital all this time), and he calls me back as I'm getting ready to leave. He's got porn the TV and asks me questions to which I answered "None of your business."
Sounds a bit like a country song, eh? I MUST be a redneck! }~
(tl;dr - check the spoilers! The last one sums everything up!)
One of my best friends has been married to a guy since last fall and has only spent 5 weeks with him, and only five of those days as a married couple. She met a guy over the internet and fell in love with him, and went to Gambia (of all places), spent a month with him there, and then married him five days before her flight home. It's been seven months and still she's can't get him into the country. I'm spending alot of energy trying to keep her spirits up, and I'm there for everything she has to go through with immigration.
Now, over a week ago, my neighbor's apartment caught fire. That same day, that same neighbor's dog (Weezer, the daschund), who spent more time at my apartment than hers (staying overnight even), was put to sleep because the neighbor had taken him with her to a friend's house the day before, and there the dog got into some rat poison mixed with hamburger. I found him after the fire on my bed, shitting blood, and his gums were pure white and ice cold. I called the landlord, who had been present at the time of the fire and had gone to get more fire extinguishers, and he came back and took the dog the the vet and there was nothing they could do. If the fire had happened two days before, he would have been my dog now, because the family is now staying in a hotel.
So far, the score is: One best friend with in dire emotional need, then neighbor's apartment fire and losing what should have been my dog the same day.
So, during the fire, MY apartment got filled with black smoke, and I wasn't even done cleaning up after that (I mopped my tiny kitchen floor like 20 times before I got all the tracked-in soot up.) Then, a couple days later, I take my cat to the vet and spend $140 that I don't really have to spend. A couple days later, my other best friend calls and asks me to go to the emergency with her because she's having chest pains. So I leave with her at 8:30 at night and return at 2 AM (she was not admitted) to find that my door had been kicked in and my $300 camera and about $100 worth of tools had been stolen. Apparently, no one heard or saw anything, even though the door was kicked in so hard, I found pieces of the doorframe in the living room. Good thing I always take my laptop with me, wherever I go.
Now the score is: One best friend with in dire emotional need, then neighbor's apartment fire and losing what should have been my dog the same day, then my other best friend's scary ER visit and I get robbed on the same night.
Okay, that was last Friday. The first friend I mentioned lets me move in with her in her tiny apartment ("until my husband comes" - which I am helping her with),
and things are going decently. I am flat broke, but at least I have enough cigarettes. I am throwing away so many things, it's crazy. I am giving away 99% of my furniture. The great thing about moving is getting rid of all the clutter in your life.
At least, my friend's letting me have my third best friend (my cat Tiger) with me. He's a good cat even though he's a bit aggressive - the measure of his contentment is how many scratch marks I have on my hand. (He's apparently very happy with the move.) }
~Then we come to last night. The second friend I mentioned (the one I went to the ER with) went back to the ER again, this time with her boyfriend. I told them to call me and let me know what's going on. She didn't look good.
Now, I have been using my cell phone nigh constantly to move and disconnect services, calling pawnshops, trying to arrange to move the one couch I am keeping (so I have somewhere to sleep), etc. The friend I moved in with has been using my phone too (unlimited minutes and all), and last night it just shut itself off and just won't come back on. Crap.
So 20 mins later, while I'm researching my phone problem on the internet, suddenly my computer gets hijacked. I don't even know what website I went to that was the wrong one. Thanks Google. I got those cascading error messages (kinda pretty actually), and long story short, spent an hour getting rid of whatever got hold of me.
Then I hear a cat fight outside, and open the door. My cat races in and jumps up in the window. I go over to see if he's okay, and he attacks me before I even touch him (first time he's bitten me through the skin). I just left him alone for a few minutes, and he came over and apologized.
After not hearing from the boyfriend all night (I did send my friend an email), he knocks on the door at 7AM today and gives me an update. She got two units of blood and they admitted her. He said she was okay (feeling better), so I spent all day at my old apartment clearing it out. Then the boyfriend comes and visits me and tells me she's having emergency surgery tomorrow. He leaves and after loading my other friend's car, I bike over to the hospital. She looked good, we talked, and the boyfriend offers me a ride home.
We stop at my friend's apartment (it's at same small apartment comlex I'm staying in now) so I can get a couple of things I had left there over the weekend. He goes into the bedroom to get some clothes (he's been at the hospital all this time), and he calls me back as I'm getting ready to leave. He's got porn the TV and asks me questions to which I answered "None of your business."
Okay, so where were we: One best friend with in dire emotional need, then neighbor's apartment fire and losing what should have been my dog the same day, then later my other best friend's in scary ER visit and I get robbed on the same night. Then I have to discard 99% of my possessions (easy come, easy go, ya know?) to stay at a place I am working my hardest to run myself out of. My best friend goes to the ER for the second time in a few days looking bad, my cell phone dies and my computer gets hijacked and my cat attacks me all on the same night. The next day, I find my friend's having emergency surgery and her boyfriend propositions me the same night.
Sounds a bit like a country song, eh? I MUST be a redneck! }
~
