IO Poor Comma Usage Abounds

[Dwight Schrute]

Does anyone here know how to properly use a comma?

Ex: Shut the hell up, asshole.

Why on earth would anyone think this is the proper way to use it?

Lets step it up and use the proper grammar.

 

[corianderstem]

How is that incorrect?

Shut the hell up, asshole.

If I reversed it, I'd still need the comma.

Asshole, shut the hell up.

Unless "asshole" is that person's name, in which case it should be capitalized.

Admit it: you just started this thread so you could people type "shut the hell up, asshole" over and over again.

 

[randhail]

Actually, I believe that Dwight is correct here.

In his example there is no need for a comma because it's a complete though without an introductory bit. When you said: Asshole, shut the hell up - you changed the sentence around using asshole as the introductory bit creating the need for a comma. At least that's what I think.

 

[UberBeaver]

"Shut the hell up, asshole." Correct.

You need the comma there. "Shut the hell up asshole" would indicate, rather clumsily, that you are attempting to shut the hell that is located up the asshole. As awesome as that sentiment is, it does not reach the intended target, in this case, some asshole. And in fact without the article "the" pointing to the "asshole" it would be incorrect.

If the person were named Asshole, you would still need the comma.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

this is some fascinating analysis right here...

 

[redhotswami]

i know isn't it? beav is using his english degree

 

[randhail]

"Shut the hell up, asshole." Correct.

You need the comma there. "Shut the hell up asshole" would indicate, rather clumsily, that you are attempting to shut the hell that is located up the asshole. As awesome as that sentiment is, it does not reach the intended target, in this case, some asshole. And in fact without the article "the" pointing to the "asshole" it would be incorrect.

If the person were named Asshole, you would still need the comma.

I see what you're saying since up is a preposition and asshole would be the object of that preposition. Lets say that the phrase was: Shut your face asshole. The need for the comma disappears then. Correct?

 

[UberBeaver]

Nope, you still need it because "asshole" is being addressed. Anytime someone is being addressed, you need a comma. Unless someone had something called a "face asshole"; for example, NSW has an "asshole face", so when I want him to STFU I say, "Shut your asshole face, douche bag." See? In this example NSW is being address as douche bag, hence the preceding comma. HOwever, the "asshole face" is being treated as a singular entity, like a hockey stick. What kind of stick? A hockey stick. What kind of face? An asshole face. Make sense?

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

Nope, you still need it because "asshole" is being addressed. Anytime someone is being addressed, you need a comma. Unless someone had something called a "face asshole"; for example, NSW has an "asshole face", so when I want him to STFU I say, "Shut your asshole face, douche bag." See? In this example NSW is being address as douche bag, hence the preceding comma. HOwever, the "asshole face" is being treated as a singular entity, like a hockey stick. What kind of stick? A hockey stick. What kind of face? An asshole face. Make sense?

Beav, why aren't you teaching children somewhere?

 

[UberBeaver]

Beav, why aren't you teaching children somewhere?

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to discuss that without a lawyer yet....I'll get back to you.

 

[randhail]

It makes sense, but it just doesn't look right when it's written down. Do you need a comma in every instance when you're addressing someone in that manner? For example, would you need a comma when you say Happy birthday fred.

I'm impressed by your comma knowledge though.

 

[UberBeaver]

Yes. Happy Birthday, Fred. You can hear it, there's a slight drop in your tone, or a pause. Say it all together, "happybirthdayfred," and it sounds like a noun, like a thing. "Hey, what is that?" "Oh, it's a happybirthdayfred." "Fucking A, cool, man. I want one."

 

[LemonMelon]

Beav, in the sentence "Shut the fuck up, asshole-faced douche bag," is there a need for a comma between "asshole-faced" and "douche bag"? I suspect not, but I would like a professional opinion.

 

[UberBeaver]

Beav, in the sentence "Shut the fuck up, asshole-faced douche bag," is there a need for a comma between "asshole-faced" and "douche bag"? I suspect not, but I would like a professional opinion.

I don't believe so, no. I'm thinking, though, that if you were to add another modifier on there, like, "Shut the fuck up you cock munching, asshole faced douche bag," you would need a comma between "cock munching" and "asshole faced," because, and I'm not 100%, that might qualify as a list, which needs a comma. I need to look into that.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

these are some real life lessons here...

 

[waynetravis]

Deep, thread

 

[No spoken words]

Nope, you still need it because "asshole" is being addressed. Anytime someone is being addressed, you need a comma. Unless someone had something called a "face asshole"; for example, NSW has an "asshole face", so when I want him to STFU I say, "Shut your asshole face, douche bag." See? In this example NSW is being address as douche bag, hence the preceding comma. HOwever, the "asshole face" is being treated as a singular entity, like a hockey stick. What kind of stick? A hockey stick. What kind of face? An asshole face. Make sense?

I don't play hockey.

 

[LemonMelon]

Deep, thread

No comma necessary there. A comma is only necessary between an adjective and a noun if there is more than adjective next to the noun.

Adverbs are a completely different story.

 

[UberBeaver]

Deep, thread

This would be correct if you were talking to deep and pointing out that this is in fact a thread.

I don't play hockey.

Shut your asshole face, douche bag.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

Deep, thread

 

[phillyfan26]

So, Dwight, is this thread about your poor comma usage?

 

[UberBeaver]

So, Dwight, is this thread about your poor comma usage?

We gonna change your name to pwndfan26, son. DAYUM!

 

[corianderstem]

I had a whole post typed out here about how the initial poster was missing an apostrophe in "lets," but once I saw it on my screen, I wasn't sure I was right.

This is depressing. My brain must be shut off today.

It should be let's because it's a contraction, right? As in "let us discuss"?

Lets would be allows. As in "Beav lets NSW call him naughty names."

Right? Someone please validate my brain.

 

[LemonMelon]

it's = it is

its = signifies ownership

 

[randhail]

The worst is the improper usage of your and you're. If you can't get that right, then you're dead to me.

 

[corianderstem]

I always get "its" and "it's" correct. THAT one, I know.

And yeah, the "your" vs "you're" is another one that makes my eyes burn.

 

[phillyfan26]

I only screw up your/you're or there/their/they're when I'm rambling and not thinking. I'm a person who literally writes as they speak, so ... my words usually come from the sound, not necessarily from the actual word. For instance, on my in-class papers that I write in one period, which are timed and long, I make the mistake often of phonetically sounding things out like "won" and "one." I know the difference, but I'm rushed and don't notice.

My history teacher marvels at it. She's never seen someone literally write words as if they were saying them. It's not just spelling. I punctuate my papers with things like "you know" because that's how I speak. It's unconscious.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

my favorite is the "there" family...

 

[LemonMelon]

there = location of an object

their = signifies ownership

they're = they are

 

[corianderstem]

I only screw up your/you're or there/their/they're when I'm rambling and not thinking. I'm a person who literally writes as they speak, so ... my words usually come from the sound, not necessarily from the actual word. For instance, on my in-class papers that I write in one period, which are timed and long, I make the mistake often of phonetically sounding things out like "won" and "one." I know the difference, but I'm rushed and don't notice.

That's really interesting - I've never run across anyone who does that. My thoughts flow fast, and I type fast, but I'm one of those freaks who edits as she goes because I can sense when I've typed something wrong. I don't use spellcheck because I'm so confident about this.

So far, it hasn't gotten me into too much trouble.