IO: Laffy Taffy

[iron yuppie]

Why was the ocean arrested?

Spoiler

Because it beat upon the shore.

When is Labor Day?

Spoiler

When mothers give birth.

What is a tree's favorite drink?

Spoiler

Root beer.

or ?

 

[bono_212]

I love this thread.

 

[LemonMelon]

https://twitter.com/Laffy_TaffyJoke

This joke was so fucking amazing that they used it twice in 6 weeks:

What did the policeman say to his tummy?

Spoiler

I've got you under a vest!

I like that it apparently takes 3-4 days to come up with this shit.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted.

 

[bono_212]

Ohhhh there's a bucket of Laffy Taffy in the office, gang.

What did Delaware?

Spoiler

A brand New Jersey!

What do pigs give on Valentine's Day?

Spoiler

Valenswines!

 

[iron yuppie]

I ate the bag I had so quickly that I forgot to make updates to the thread.

 

[bono_212]

I'm going to try and limit my Laffy Taffy gorging to one piece per day, so I won't make you all laugh too hard...

Why did the ghost join the team?

Spoiler

They neeeded some spirit!

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Spoiler

Because then it would be a foot!

(For all you non-Americans/users of such measures, 12 inches = 1 Foot)

 

[bono_212]

Got an oldie, but 'goodie' today:

What can you never have for breakfast?

Spoiler

Lunch and Dinner!

What do you call a pig that does karate?

Spoiler

Porkchop!

 

[bono_212]

From Monday:

What is a parasite?

Spoiler

Something you see in Paris!

I forget what the second one on Monday was and Tuesday's were repeats.

Today:

Why is the baker so mean?

Spoiler

Because he beats the bread!

What's a fish's favorite country?

Spoiler

Finland!

 

[Sicy]

Now & Laters > Laffy Taffy




What kind of pants do Mario & Luigi wear?

Spoiler

Denim Denim Denim

 

[bono_212]

I had to look that one up, but once I did, I laffed.

 

[Sicy]

It's better with the vocal sound effect lol.

 

[meegannie]

Now & Laters > Laffy Taffy




What kind of pants do Mario & Luigi wear?

Spoiler

Denim Denim Denim

 

[bono_212]

I've been misbehaving and not sharing:

Why did they bury the battery?

Spoiler

Because it was dead!

How can you spot a dogwood tree?

Spoiler

By it's bark!

 

[bono_212]

This doesn't even make sense...

Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone?

Spoiler

He had no body to go with him!

But...he's a skeleton...not a ghost, or...spirit...or something. He still has a body. It's just...you know, sans flesh and what not.

Where did the bee sit?

Spoiler

On his Bee-hind!

 

[bono_212]

I forgot to share with you all the Joke So Bad it Made the News:

Q: Which garden has the most vegetables? A: Flash Garden

Is Laffy Taffy playing a joke on you? | Fox News

That's from 2006.

I got that joke on a Laffy Taffy...

...two weeks ago...they're still printing it.


Today:

How does a witch travel?

Spoiler

Ghost to Ghost!

How does every baseball player get a hit?

Spoiler

He sings a song!

WHAT?

 

[bono_212]

What is a Buckaneer?

Spoiler

Expensive corn!

How do you get an alien baby to sleep?

Spoiler

You rocket!