Untitled (so far)

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DancingBarefoot

The Fly
Joined
Nov 29, 2000
Messages
133
Location
Houston, TX USA
You creep in like daylight through a broken window, punching holes in the darkness.
But in your wake shadows linger, making my steps uncertain.
And so we dance across the floor.
You lead - out of step, out of time, and I stumble over words.
We scatter dust from once forgotten relics that had remained untouched for so long.
Better they had kept their cover than expose what lain beneath.
Your light, my dear makes the darkness darker and we trip over our past.
Maybe if I threw a rock at the window enlightened corners would give up their truths.
If we could only watch the dust settle and lock the door to this basement of despair,
You could share your light with me and I could see you for who you are.


This is a quite recent one. It could maybe use some touching up, etc. If you have any suggestions please share them. I agonized over "what lain beneath." Lay, lie, laid - ugh. If you know how this should read, let me know. Also - "basement of despair" is maybe too corny? Oh well. Bye for now.



------------------
Nichelle
**Still looking for the
face I had before the
world was made....**

**Work like you don't
need money, love like
you've never been hurt,
and dance like no
one's watching.**
 
if you're asking about the grammatical use of "what lain beneath" I think you need an aux. verb (or whatever they're called) as in "what had lain beneath" or "what hath lain beneath"

I'm warnin you that grammar is one of my weakest areas so I ain't a bit sure but hey the term "poetic license" was coined for a purpose
biggrin.gif


great poem BTW:

You lead - out of step, out of time, and I stumble over words.

If we could only watch the dust settle and lock the door to this basement of despair,
 
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