The Race

[browneyedgirl]

Rolling,Racing,moving faster into the night.
Smoking and living.
Dying a little at a time ,just to make you love me.
The night brings those lights against darkness.
Hideaways,runaways,and us on the highway with faraway eyes.
We are tuned into the tune,beating,pounding,screaming against the silence.
Faster we go,lost in the rush,the push for the next high, the next goodbye....

This one seems kinda all over the place, any ideas if it says anything at all....I feel like posting a few tonight so there may be more coming up.

 

[browneyedgirl]

O.K. Here's another one, this one is so personal and specific I almost feel like it's to much, but I'll have to admit this is such a release almost like therapy or something...anyway this one is called


Lost Innocence #1

Time stops when I look at you,
freeze frame,the world doesn't spin,
the sun doesn't shine.
Our time together so undefined,so
undermined by you.
I've missed you ,have you missed my face in your eyes?
Those eyes that hold all of your soul inside.
Always shining despite a self induced haze.
Our minds and hearts met once,but you left the scene of the crime.
I'm tied of this cat and mouse game,could'nt be more sick of all this pain.
Where've you been baby?
Do I even really care?
Sometimes I want to scream yes, and run into your arms,but most of the time I just want to run away.
It's not so easy anymore,baby,you know,like it was in the beginning.
No matter what we do, it feels like an ending.

[This message has been edited by browneyedgirl (edited 06-17-2001).]

 

[browneyedgirl]

Just wanted to bring this back to the top.........craving a response I guess...

 

[Bacchus]

Beautiful poetry, reach out and touch that love that you once knew for tomorrow may never come. Thank you for sharing something so personal, therapy yes...

------------------
The heart that is soonest awake to the flowers is always the first to be touched by the thorns.
Thomas Moore, 1779?1852

 

[The Wanderer]

wow!

I must say I like your writing style, sometimes poetry tends to become too formal and dettached from the writer, which is ok some of the time, but it can also leave a void if the words seem too distant, and that can cause one to form the impression that the words are very uninspired and/or calculated beyond reproach (true, poetry craves attention to detail from the writer, but part of that includes being less obvious in your word choices)

sorry for the rant, in short, I like these poems a great deal

[This message has been edited by The Wanderer (edited 07-01-2001).]

 

[browneyedgirl]

I just wanted to say a hey thanks for the feedback(no pun intended).....

I guess my writing style(I find it hard to even say I have a writing style ),seems informal because I've really had no formal instruction to base my writing on , I mainly just go with raw emotion. Most of the time I
wish my poetry had more structure and traditional form , but it lacks this because I lack the knowledge of this, I guess.

Any way thanks for the compliments