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Old 02-22-2002, 01:51 AM   #1
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the gift

given,
in her stomach
or an ash tray
a garbage man
and the ripe stench of love
will have its swell
as the breath of youth
climbs in her tomb
a bleat and a noose
the surface of the moon
stabbing thru her lips
like a fresh cut wound
in words and scissors
telling her that life has begun
she kisses it goodbye...

sweet nothings,
of shrink wrap
and balloon bursting
the afterbirth
red like dawn,
a newborn sun
happy birthday, baby


------------------
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart---
It really goes.

And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood


-Sylvia Plath
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Old 02-22-2002, 02:09 AM   #2
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oh man powerful image, i love the sacred profanity in this poem.....its a horrible thing though that our world contains material that prompts something so stark and bleak
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Old 02-22-2002, 08:16 AM   #3
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ouch

although there's also an exciting side to it..
you captured the loss incredibly well, Wanderer; it's painful to read
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Old 02-22-2002, 12:19 PM   #4
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Wow, very powerful stuff, Wanderer.

I liked it.
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Old 02-22-2002, 04:16 PM   #5
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as the breath of youth climbs in her tomb I love that play on words

You know Ive been reading this again and the end is actually, I dunno....hopeful? It holds promise.. it's not how I saw it at first anyhow. this made me think of a quote...

"It is the romantic certainty, which all these [things] seduce you with, that somehow, somewhere, something was taken away from you, and you cannot get it back. Once you did ride a carrousel. It seemed as though it would last forever."~Louis Menand

Do we ever really lose anything? Times change and nothing, however beautiful, will last forever, but dont you carry these things with you all your life, holding them close to you, and using what they've given you to create your own environment? Dont they then stay with you forever, or even with this world forever if you pass them on to your children?

Sorry I know im majorly rambling and probably making no sense whatsoever,.. you are so talented Wanderer, thanks so much for giving us the opportunity to read what's in your writing
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Old 02-23-2002, 01:44 AM   #6
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I think that's one of your best
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Old 03-01-2002, 12:03 AM   #7
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thanks

BabyGrace, I don't know about your quote, it's very intriguing I must say; I would like to think that when I am gone that there will be some trace of my existence. There's this thing where people die, and then they come to life. Some people spend their entire lives dying, others are never really here at all. Sometimes I am not sure whether I am here or not, that I exist only inside my head, and this person here doesn't really exist elsewhere... but I'm trying to exist, trying to reach out to that carrousel.

But yes, you keep with you in your heart anything that has mattered to you, the stuff that hurts you stays too, because it helps us remember we are alive. If we don't hurt we cannot love, or be loved. I'm not revealing any great mysteries here, and I do apologize for being so grandiose, I am just happy to have someone read my poetry.

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Old 03-01-2002, 09:30 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Wanderer:
thanks

Sometimes I am not sure whether I am here or not, that I exist only inside my head, and this person here doesn't really exist elsewhere...
I can think of somewhere where you'll always exist.
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Old 03-03-2002, 12:53 PM   #9
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and personally I think a lot more people would love to read your poetry if they had the chance..

------------------
You make yourself vulnerable to change in your life. But in the end, you've got to become the change you want to see in the world.
-the B-man
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