Secret Sin

[popsadie]

A work in progress..

Secret Sin

Scarlet and black velvet streaks through my soul
Little deaths stream in my veins
I throw out ghosts out to show that I'm whole
But God knows I'm dead inside

Gloss on my lipstick and shade my blue eyes
Paint on a smile to impress all my friends
They'll never see my unspeakable lies
But God knows I'm dead inside

 

[The Wanderer]

oh yes

 

[Hailey]

popsadie, that's excellent work. I don't even think you need more, those eight lines speak incredibly well for themselves, especially with the repetition of the last line.

great piece

 

[foray]

Brilliant! I'm not just saying it.

I throw out ghosts out to show that I'm whole
But God knows I'm dead inside
Very very well put, especially the first line.

Gloss on my lipstick and shade my blue eyes
I think it's an excellent usage of 'gloss' and 'shade' (shade also implying protecting one's self and not just hiding).

They'll never see my unspeakable lies
Please don't be offended if I suggest that this line is a tad redundant. I still think your poem is wonderful and compact.

Thanks for posting your poems again!

foray

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

[No message]

 

[popsadie]

Foray..i've really appreciated the encouragement you've given me since I started posting here. I only wish I was more prolific. I can't seem to make myself write unfortunately...a poem is like a gift to me.

 

[zooropamanda]

That truly is amazing just like your other one you've just posted.

Question..how come so few posts when you've been here longer than most?