Rivers and Oceans

[TheFly7]

Any kind of feedback is welcome!

Rivers & Oceans

Man, when you smile
My heart skips its beat
Your words, though quite simple
Bring a waltz to my feet
And in your eyes
I can feel you resonate
Like the slow beginning
Of an earthquake

I thought I knew you
You were far and fine
Languages and artistry
Too much unlike mine
In the gardens of love
There are fruits which heal
But the fruits that sheath
Are the ones you steal

I swim in your energy
I cling to your breath
Unknown, like a whisper
That hasn’t quite reached ears yet
A woman sits beside
Her beauty - a spear
Daunting and mocking
The wretched prey’s fear

Say to me what you’re thinking
Let your soul overflow
For there are rivers and oceans
Your desert heart should know
May I be your belief?
Can I assume your position?
Will you bring me the key
Should I turn life’s ignition

I can still smell you now
You linger in my head
Poetry pours life out
Over the black-sewn dead
In an alone moment tonight
I wonder where you are
If your dreams will come dancing
With me and the stars

 

[ZeroDude]

I think you know yourself some of the lines are a bit inconsequencial to your concept but it is a very good piece imo

 

[TheFly7]

thanks
i have a tendency to be a bit too stream of conscious in my writing...