quiet calling

[BabyGrace]

It's never enough
You had to give it away
Everything pretty reflected back at you
What you were

Hide it, keep it away
It's too quiet a flame to be exposed
For you would be engulfed
By the raging fire

And you never learned
You just hurt too much
Until they made you take it away
And I know

I might be the only one
Who feels this way, but I know
You're still there
I'm too tired to fight anymore

Come back to me, please
I promise I won't hurt you
I'm not afraid of hurting for you
I want to feel you,

The real you,
What's still twisting inside
Begging to be let out. Into my hands
I will hold you tonight.

(I will love you for what you are,
Nothing more and nothing less.
I will hold you
And never hold you down

Come back, please
God, I still miss you.)
~~~

once again, another one i wrote quickly. the part in parenthesis i wrote the next day when i read it..it didn't really fit and seemed redundant but i didnt wanna delete it so I just separated it like that, and afterwards it seemed to come across like someone whispering something that is meant for only the person in question to hear..

do anyone else's poems seem to take on a life of their own once you write them?

------------------
and everything you hoped would last
just always becomes the past
it hurts but...

 

[ACROB@T]

..beautifully direct..you have a real knack at honest delivery BG, these parts stood out the most

Hide it, keep it away
It's too quiet a flame to be exposed
For you would be engulfed
By the raging fire

The real you,
What's still twisting inside
Begging to be let out. Into my hands
I will hold you tonight

with regards to your question..I do get the feeling with some of the stuff I've written, more so when I delve into the musical side...most of the original inspirations don't always remain at the end but I love the flexibility of some of these creations..suprise is a good thing

 

[Salome]

Originally posted by BabyGrace:
do anyone else's poems seem to take on a life of their own once you write them?

I wish they did


very beautiful

------------------
Salome
Shake it, shake it, shake it

 

[WildHonee]

Originally posted by BabyGrace:
It's never enough
You had to give it away
Everything pretty reflected back at you
What you were

OK I'm emotional from watching "The Wonder Years" and now I'm crying! FECK!!!!

Very nice


------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization
97% compatible with Bono

"Bono was embraced as rock's latest mystic leader, a sort of holy cross between the Morrisons, Jim and Van"

"There were moments when Bono even earned cheers for simply loosening his shirt"

"Listen....I could be a genius if I weren't so lazy"

 

[The Wanderer]

this has the feel of being very tender and loving poem

I will hold you
And never hold you down

this is a very nice line in the part you said didn't really fit with the rest, I think it does, the poem is somewhat vague, but that's not a bad thing, anyway, I think that line brings another level to the poem, one that isn't as pronounced until then

--------
If I speak my mind, will you know me?

 

[BabyGrace]

thanks guys

salome, if I hear one more negative comment about your writing, I'm going to do something evil, i'm not sure what but I will! you've been warned.

it's probably vague, Wanderer, because I started out writing about one thing but got frustrated in the middle and switched it to another. thus it prolly makes no sense either.
I cant write right now, just like I can't paint or draw right now, just like I can't think straight right now. it's infuriating to say the least

------------------
In the night of death, hope sees a star and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.
~Robert Ingersoll

 

[The Wanderer]

vague in this case was meant as a compliment BabyGrace, perhaps I should have used another word like opaque or elusive

 

[Salome]

Originally posted by BabyGrace:
salome, if I hear one more negative comment about your writing, I'm going to do something evil, i'm not sure what but I will! you've been warned.

I'm not being negative
I write better dutch poetry than any of you guys

------------------
Salome
Shake it, shake it, shake it

 

[zooropamanda]

so come on then!
post some Mister Talk!

BG... Im not afraid of hurting for you
You write some incredibly careful lines. I feel that one.

 

[BabyGrace]

i didnt take it as an insult Wanderer. i was just saying the most probable reason for that vagueness

yeah salome, thats more of the cocky attitude i wanted

------------------
In the night of death, hope sees a star and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.
~Robert Ingersoll