Porcelain Evening

[silver_afterglow]

I guess it's been a long time since I posted here (and I only posted once before), but I'd like some feedback on this little song I've written. It loses so much when you cannot hear the angst and hectic sound of the guitar riff playing along, or the strain in my voice as I sing it...

This is a song which I wrote both Monday and Wednesday of this week. On Monday, I was very happy and on Wednesday I was somewhat depressed. Remember, it is a song so it is somewhat repetative...

The song, which is called "Porcelain Evening" is written for one of my good friends. It is about doing all of the wrong things at the right time. It is about not following the rules which we sometimes mindlessly follow. It is about living for now and not living for six years until never. So I invite you to delve into this pocket of time in my life...


PORCELAIN EVENING

See the stars, they shining for you
See the waves, they crashing for you
A waterfall of glass and chrystalline
Hanging onto every breath you breathe

You got me now inside your bones
I'll be the thaw, you'll be the cold

It's your porcelain evening
It's your porcelain evening
It's your porcelain evening
Don't let it shatter again

See the stars exploding for you
See my world is broken for you
A waterfall of glass and chrystalline
Hanging onto every breath you breathe

The tragic blood of what I am
Is porcelain inside your hands

It's your porcelain evening
It's your porcelain evening
It's your porcelain evening
Don't let it shatter again

I see it falling from your hands
The porcelain falls from your hands

It's your porcelain evening
It's your porcelain evening
It's your porcelain evening
Don't let it shatter again

It will always shatter again
It will always shatter again
Always let it shatter again
Always let it shatter again

 

[Bacchus]

Pray again and again that the rise and fall of our battered heart will not let us down again, when it's the crashing that we live for...

I like this one very much, which dynasty is your evening colored after??

------------------
i blame myself for being too much like somebody else, never thought i would just bend this way
then a phone call made me realize i'm wrong...
---4am---

 

[foray]

I gotta say this; it reminds me of coldplay's yellow

. I'm not saying you copied it, of course. I like this poem, too. Even though you wrote it during two diametrically opposed moods, it's still coherent and ties up well. I've always liked wistful lyrics

. I wonder what the melody sounds like.

foray

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"Please--tame me!" he said. "I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand." "One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox.

 

[The Wanderer]

i like it, but I must agree with foray, it's a little too close to Yellow, especially in the beginning

 

[silver_afterglow]

Actually, I think it's kind of funny that you say it sounded like someone like Coldplay lyrically! I thought for sure you'd all think it more as The Cure with their more recent stuff (Bloodflowers) with how the song ends.

 

[DancingBarefoot]

It's that first line that is so like the first line of "Yellow" -

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you."

I like this poem and it's (to steal foray's phrase) wistful lyrics. It sets a mood which is great for music. I'd like to hear this song, as well.

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**Still looking for the
face I had before the
world was made....**

**Work like you don't
need money, love like
you've never been hurt,
and dance like no
one's watching.**