plastic

[BabyGrace]

plastic drips
white fences crawl around the edges
patrolling like border guards
unsure baby legs toddle forward
child knows, the child knows
no world of choices yet
no cacophony of voices yet
bubble glimmers
(out of reach)

everything's safe and everybody's
perfect
the sidewalks are clean
and daddy's got a good job
for his two and half children
child's losing, the child's losing it
trapped on the green lawns
cropped and mowed

schooled and trained a machine
built limb by piece
wring out the I, become just a tool
in a war outside of continents
learn to keep it, keep it yours
green eyes for paper alone
child's crushed, the child's crushed
bubble bursts
(out of reach)

__
I tried to make something more organic sounding because I think my writing is always really vague.

 

[foray]

I read it as a political piece, with the 2nd stanza representing an American child and the last one a Middle Eastern child.

foray

 

[ACROB@T]

no world of choices yet
no cacophony of voices yet

my thoughts went down the same road as foray while reading

nice change of direction

 

[The Wanderer]

I like the different levels and juxtaposition here. There is this sort of paralysis in how the youth are portrayed, bred into an environment that molds a predictable (or inevitable) future; and there are different modes of fate with the first scenario ending in a stifling and monotonous existence, while the other scenario is symptomatic of a disposable existence -- in each case mapped out by the culture/society. Now it's hard to feel as much pity (or any at all) for the first child, when compared to the latter of the two. If you had ended the poem after the 2nd stanza, I think the reader would have felt bitterness and sympathy at what the "western world" has become (or maybe has always been), but with the final stanza the first two are put into a new perspective, but, apathy is not a healthy reaction to a situation where one determines, "things are not perfect, but it could be worse"


green eyes for paper only, very interesting line, I'm still not sure what it means!