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Old 04-28-2003, 09:32 PM   #1
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"Lost Man's Crown"

"Lost Man's Crown"

I'm waiting at the river's bend
Looking for what the ocean would send
My dreams torn and broken
Thrown in the gusting wind
By the hands of fate
I gave it all
To the hands of fate

On an open canyon
The clouds seem to fall
I yearn for you
But you don't listen at all

In the desert sun
I can't remember where I came from
I've traveled so far
On a rocky path
Left bruised and scarred
Never knew it would be this hard

I have shelter
Under a weeping willow tree
What happened?
With you and me

I wear the lost man's crown
I steer towards
The dark end of town
Where I can hear the sound
Of my love
Hitting the ground

I live
Just holding on
To nothing at all
'Cause when I try to stand
You made me fall
You made me fall...

Still waiting at the river's bend
Seeing what the ocean has to send
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Old 04-28-2003, 09:34 PM   #2
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My most image driven poem yet, I consider it to be atmospheric (sp?)...

Well, enjoy!
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Old 04-30-2003, 06:18 PM   #3
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I would really like to know what the readers think of this one. Any praises or criticisms would be much appreciated.
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Old 05-01-2003, 03:27 PM   #4
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Hmmm I don't really know what to say about. That's the reason why I didn't comment.
I like metaphors and I try to use them in my own poems. Your poem is full of really nice and powerful ones.
I like

Quote:
I wear the lost man's crown
I steer towards
The dark end of town
Where I can hear the sound
Of my love
Hitting the ground
a lot.

It is a good poem and I can imagine your journey in my head with a lot of pictures.
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Old 05-01-2003, 04:31 PM   #5
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Thank you, that will really help me with my next one.
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