Let's play a game... called um Poetry Rejects

[foray]

Well, I'm pretty sure lots of you have some lines of poetry as seedlings for greater poems ahead, but can never seem to take them anywhere. I for one have a small bin of rejected lines.

I was thinking, maybe we can share these rejected poetry/phrases (that we think have potential but are hampered by writer's block). For eg, I have these lines:

Rock-me-bye in the wink of your eye
Light radiates from its sparkle then dies

and

A star?s end is always an epic movie
Fifty years on, we still watch the final scenes

but I can't seem to go anywhere with them. So, I'm putting it out there for anyone of you to take and make something out of it. Like taking a piece of scrap furniture and repainting the ugly parts to make it personalized.

Is this a good idea? You got any scrapped lines of poetry?


foray

 

[BabyGrace]

this is an awesome idea, I will be back with some

it reminds me of a thread, I think it was Bebe's, that was called one-line-poems or something like that.

 

[Basstrap]

yeah, I shall surely participate when I get home. I have tons of discarded stuff.

Things I wrote that have a couple worthwhile lines, but I thought was shit on the whole.

I'll drop a couple lines later

 

[Bonochick]

Damn...I just threw out an old notebook with poetry rejects the other day...

Yeah, I know...I'm kicking myself.

 

[MonaVox]

[color=royal blue]This is kinda like cadavre exquisit.......I can't spell it. But it's latin. It means exquisite corpse. I don't know WHY. Anyone know what I'm talkin aboot?[/color]

 

[Bonochick]

[color=royal blue]This is kinda like cadavre exquisit.......I can't spell it. But it's latin. It means exquisite corpse. I don't know WHY. Anyone know what I'm talkin aboot?[/color]

No.....

Do we ever????

 

[foray]

Well, it's not really like the Exquisite Corpse game. In The Exquisite Corpse, what happens is that one player writes a line, then passes it to the next player who has no inkling what the first player wrote. At the end of the game, the poem is revealed in its entirety and you get a nonsensical and sometimes humourous poem.

foray

 

[MonaVox]

No.....

Do we ever????

[color=royal blue]*CRY*

Thank you, foray.

ANYWAY.

[/color]

 

[pax]

Rejected line #1:

you're the only one keeping me from going crazy
in this gray cube...

Rejected line #2:

you are one to pass the time with, you...

That's all I've got for now. I'll look for more later.

 

[MonaVox]

[color=royal blue]Lines I have and don't know where to put 'em....although I'm still working on some of them.


I?m not the reason that you left
I?m just the reason you won?t come back

Try to act surprised
when you see me when
you're actually supposed to.


I know love that conquers polluted times.

I walked that line but not before I changed it

I don?t kiss like anything.

I could never find the words
Even if I was brave enough to say them out loud.

But I know I could make you a mess
I could have been the ruin of you.

And I know the names of your wife and kids
Just so I could feel like I was part of it.

And you will find that the greatest release
Comes from knowing there?s no such thing.

*shrug*

Many more akorse. Those were just the ones that have been around longest.
[/color]

 

[Basstrap]

Here are some doozeys

So I hoist my tattered white flag
That i've used so much before
When friends have come and gone,
leaving me cold outside their door
------------------

Maybe I'm a little too cute
Maybe I should curse some more
Drink until I hit the floor;
maybe then I'd be someone you'd want
-------------------

 

[MonaVox]

[color=royal blue]I just remembered that I threw away a bunch of papers with idears thinking that I had typed them up already.

*SHOOTS FOOT*[/color]

 

[The Wanderer]

well ok, you can pet 'em, but you don't know where they've been!

can love, make the leap of faith, across forever?

the russian princess
eyes, too far off to be courted

a touch, surreal as Dali's darkest night
hair, the raven to which Poe gave flight

broken wings,
of precious things
empty glass,
of lower class
frozen minds,
colored blinds
red ---> white ---> blue,
old lovers -- new

through the glassy pool
the exhibitionist and the voyeur
play their games
the sharks converge
and it is beautiful



fury, do you realize what you're asking people to do?!

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Holy crappola! These are excellent lines we've all thrown away!

I'll try and look for some of mine...they're in a notebook buried somewhere. Maybe it'll inspire me to rework and finish them.

 

[EdgeVox]

Lover, let me lead you astray
I know you'll deny this someday
that you wronged the world by my side
to fill up the hole inside
I talk of revolution you talked of your mother,
I had no choice but kill your brother

 

[pax]

EdgeVox, those lines are very Jeff Buckley-ish. Do you listen to him at all?

 

[daafish]

Great thread! thought I'd take one of your rejected lines write something. SO starting with this...

A star?s end is always an epic movie
Fifty years on, we still watch the final scenes

Day to day and hour to hour
we view the light shine sour
passing through the darkness
searching for an end, a friend, a home
clashing with the marbles of space
planets embrace it with their massive face
yet, soon it will lose its grip on reality
collapsing, diminshing its reach to connect
darkness, flames extinguish, death fills its desire
we weep, we see, another star ignites the fire

 

[Sicy]

For someone that's never written, baby that's really great.

* proud face *

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

That's really good!

 

[daafish]

Good ones Monovox. I'd like to dedicate this one to Sicy using one of your lines to start it off.

[color=royal blue]

I don?t kiss like anything,

[/color]

I don?t kiss like death
relying on but one last breath,
I don?t kiss like passion
extending into the mire of sexual aggression,
I don?t kiss like lust
serving to blind feelings as does dust,
I don?t kiss like life
cycling young to old in all amounts of strife,
I don?t kiss like You
I don't like to kiss anything, but You.

 

[Sicy]

* speechless *

 

[Bonochick]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.............

 

[pax]

This is so cute...

::runs off crying because she's single::

 

[Bonochick]

Here's a reject:

You cut me open with shards of the moon
Just to see how much I'd bleed for you

 

[Sicy]

Here's a reject:

You cut me open with shards of the moon
Just to see how much I'd bleed for you

Short but sweet...

You cut me open with shards of the moon
Just to see how much I'd bleed for you
Your love shines through me like the sun
into my soul
burns deep into my eyes
Your passion overwhelmes me
Sucking my breath
Spine-tingling fire
my heart explodes

 

[Bonochick]

Nice, Sicy! Definitely better than the stuff I was comin' up with!

 

[daafish]

Rock-me-bye in the wink of your eye
Light radiates from its sparkle then dies

Unmoving, darkness seeps in
as the journeys begins
Breath slows yet blood flows
as stillness generates life
Senses expand
Silence screams aloud
Images glow in darkness
Nothing smells greater
Touching everything at once
Tasting all but death
Rock-me-bye in the wink of your eye
Light radiates and awakes you until you die

 

[foray]

Wow, you are all making great stuff out of our trash! (Nice ones, daafish.)

And lots of you threw out fantastic lines. Great stuff, keep it up. Here are some rejects from my more juvenile days (yuk):

Left right in the middle (eh, not to be confused with Natalie Imbruglia's left of the middle, or something like that)

Love is the end of eternity, always approaching, never arriving

No wonder they are rejects

foray

 

[EdgeVox]

EdgeVox, those lines are very Jeff Buckley-ish. Do you listen to him at all?

I always meant to get into Jeff Buckley but I never got around to it, though I know enough about him to take that as a compliment....

 

[MonaVox]

[color=royal blue]*somewhat fears the one who has Sicy as an avatar* no offense.......*Falls*[/color]