I Cry

[ZeroDude]

I was born the day my father died,
The wind it moves me,
Like no force on earth emotional or otherwise,
But I guess the wind is her,
So what I said was a contradiction anyway,
So I throw my words into the sky,
To see if they get set alight by passion, anger, hate or love
And I've come to realise,
That if I turn a page too quick,
I could become what I hate,
In your eyes and thats not fair,

Beacause I cry, I cry
Until The Morning,
I cry, I cry,
Until The Day,

To watch myself delve into darkness,
Is not so much a game,
As it is a war,
But then again with all this worry,
I worry I'm becoming a bore,
And to kill yourself would be so much kinder to those around,
If you know whats best,
And I don't really think I'm a philosopher at the best of times,
For it's only the fool,
Who listens to the fools advice,
And thats a crime,
So we fall upon the skeleton of our broken lifes,
And I cry,

I cry, I cry,
Until the morning,
I cry, I cry
Until the day,
I cry, Icry
Until the morning
Until the day drives my fears away

 

[ZeroDude]

I love this, I know I wrote it but I do lol, ok so the rythm of the words is not A grade I believe it's quite good, I'm criticising myself,
we need more criticism here, not scathing attacks but gentle nods, ah well whatever goes

 

[Bonochick]

On the first reading, it seemed kind of jerky, but going through it again, it all seems to go together so well...yet, it still seems jerky. It's good that way though, I don't know what it is. It goes well though. I like it!

 

[ZeroDude]

Yea it is kind of jerky, but I send that across in many ways sometimes, lol so its to be expected

 

[Bonochick]

I like that though, it's more relaxed...it's real.