How to not be serious, a new series

[For Honor]

Look, I'm one of those people who can be serious "at the drop of a hat", so to say. Dark and mysterious, strong silent types - I got that down cold. If anyone knows the "final fantasy" videogame series, and FF8, then just picture the character Squall. That was me, exactly, a few years ago. I've gotten better, obviously. I can post, and write, and express myself better.


But really, I believe part of maturity is knowing how to have fun. And I am always interested in improving myself, should I need to put it so mechanically.

I'm getting better at allowing myself to make jokes and comments. For many years, I've just held back from that, or saying anything at all, sometimes. But this thread is dedicated to respecting that side of me, but more so, elevating the other side, the lighthearted side.


So , on my NYC, I am going to make a conscious effort to have fun and be fun around other people.

(But really.... I am writing this thread as a reminder. Most of all, I am uncertain, maybe reluctant to let this new side of me show. But it's there - it's been there for a long time now... I have to just get comfortable with letting it come out and shine.)

I don't know, for me, it used to be difficult to dance, or be lighthearted, or even smile in public. But now... I'm able to do all those things, and I just have to embrace it. So that's what this thread is dedicated to - embracing that aspect of me, and embracing that aspect of life.


Every post will include a smile, if not more than one.
So


Here goes!

 

[For Honor]

It's too easy to write depressing stuff, so i will try to write more lighhearted/uplifting/ or just... differnt stuff here.

can you dig it?

 

[For Honor]

A good song, and thanks to U2- without them I wouldn't be here. The meaning conveyed, the message, is awesome, and one I need to embrace more of, indeed.


___________________
U2 Lyrics - Beautiful Day


The heart is a bloom, shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room, no space to rent in this town
You're out of luck and the reason that you had to care,
The traffic is stuck and you're not moving anywhere.
You thought you'd found a friend to take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand in return for grace

It's a beautiful day, the sky falls
Abd you feel like it's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road but you've got no destination
You're in the mud, in the maze of her imagination
You love this town even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over and it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

Touch me, take me to that other place
Teach me, I know I'm not a hopeless case

(my favorite part of the song -awesome guitar in studio version, excellent melodies with the vocals.)

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Beautiful day
Don't let it get away

Touch me, take me to that other place
Reach me, I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
You don't need it now, you don't need it now

Beautiful day


Music: U2
Lyrics: Bono
Synthesizers/programming: Brian Eno
Backing Vocals: The Edge and Daniel Lanois
Produced by: Daniel Lanois and Brian Eno
Engineered by: Richard Rainey
Assisted by: Chris Heaney
Additional production by: Steve Lillywhite
Mixed by: Steve Lillywhite
Additional engineering: Tim Palmer and Stephen Harris

 

[For Honor]

Yes, and if anyone else would like to add some happy stuff, feel free to go ahead. I am using this thread for myself, like most of my writing, but if other people would like to join in, all the better.

And as I have said elsewhere on interference,

There is nothing quite like the sharing of positive energies





PS - i'd post more, but I should take a shower and get ready for my trip. I have to leave in less than 8 hours now... but that's alright. I will have a good time.

Though what will mostlikely happen - I'll keep posting until I fall asleep

 

[wizard2c]

reply

I commend you for the effort. I too have a happy smiley but he too is a wizard. With wizards it's more difficult having fun, enjoying, etc. Because wizards can ride of waves of good or evil and having the ability to foresee.....the way this world is so structured I find myself riding both waves. I can't help it.....it will never change.....in fact I thrive on battling the dragon.

I found somewhere around the year 2000 things changed in the world....oh yes the 2000 prophecies never did come to pass.....but when I look back at it...I believe when the world reached 2000, although I cannot pinpoint it, the world headed toward a change and so did mankind. Just a perception I've been studying for some time.

Fun....I find myself battling time.....trying to do so many Middle Earth things while at the same time trying to stay one step ahead of mankind. Lately whenever I try to have fun.....not too soon afterward the opposite stares at me.

I see others dancing and singing and having a good time.....but perhaps like you, I too remain serious.....awaiting the dragon's next move for I know the dragon will not let its guard down.....neither do I.

carol
wizard2c

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Anyhow, For Honor, have a fun time in NYC. Let us know when you get back all the fun things you did and the fun people you met. Share your notebook with us when you return.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

I realized one thing incredibly so during my NYC affair........



I will always be serious, to an extent.

The trip was a story of two days - the first, revealing my primary nature, being serious. But throughout the whole trip, it was present, a sort of ... immensely disecting and alerting feeling surging through me, a powerful thing, but more of this at the end. I realize that I can draw power from the people surrounding me...

Day 1 - day of "play"s
You know, maybe I really do have a...
An anticonformity thing.
Labeling day 1 as I did, it was a lighthearted day, a day of enjoyment, and very few "tasks", or missions. Just see a few plays, and do "whatever". That was my day of seriousness, reservedness, and little commentary. However, since I acted differently on my 2nd day, perhaps it really was my period of observation and understanding of the personalities around me.
Or maybe I like discipline a lot (Squall, anyone?). Anyhow... I realize I do like discipline, at least to some extent. Organized, knowing and doing what it takes to get to where we need to get to. I was with 2 age peers on the first day, and we were all treated as such, but in day2..........

day 2
2 other age peers showed up, and now there were 5 "kids" around my age. That's when I saw the difference - I really am not a kid, and do not have that innocence that these others do, even at their age (same as mine). I was the responsible one, the one who took the initiative, who knew what I wanted, who moved things along. But also, on that day, I made many more comments, and lighthearted observations.


Oh yeah.........

On the first day, we went to a sort of amusement arcade place, with lots of games, and..... it was a turn off. I generally don't like competition among my family .... I take it too seriously, believe it or not.

I was slightly cold to some of my relatives, refusing to play certain games, but upon some coercing, I played some games with everyone. Again, I have... issues with intrafamily competition.... But I did, remembering, though perhaps too late, that I wanted to be more lighthearted. But regardless, I just have a certain zone that I get into.......

----------


Getting back to what I mentioned before, about something empowering....

Even in the subways, entering them... I don't know.
It is like.... a.... confidence boosting thing, because I always, regardless of my feeling, look at everyone, in the eyes. I'm always searching, in awareness. Even the people on the streets. I'm sure it isn't unique to my personality, to me. But with so many people, it is like drawing a power from them or something, I don't know. Maybe it is a leadership thing? Or am I more selfconfident that I realize?

I say this because I used to shy away from everyone. I .... in one class this year, even, I screwed up my eyes because I was so tense and nervous, and it felt like I developed a stigmatism that reminded me of my father's, because he is a nervous soul... So really, my statements should be taken under the light of me being a very shy and reclusive person by nature.

It is almost like...
'Well, I'm either going to look away from everyone and pretend not to notice them, or, I'm going to look at everyone and make sure they notice I notice them'.

One is completely more stressfree than the other.
So, in one sense, it is liberating, since I am doing what I naturally feel is the right thing for me to do.

Mostly because I look more at women (for obvious reasons), but really, on the initial check, I look at everyone the same amount of time. But....... I suppose I look at women more because I find them more appealing to look at. But when I do, some respond to it, and look back into your eyes, and even that is a positive response.

So when I am more "aggressively outgoing" with my eyes and field awareness, so to say, everything flows better for me. I feel much more in control of the situation, and much more at ease, though there may be a sort of tense, analytical look on my face. Well not tense, just... purposeful, perhaps.

It feels more honest to me, I guess that is another reason why I like it.
And both days, I was consitent in that, the field awareness thing.



I suppose it also has to do with the immense repression of myself through the majority of my days. Now that I am breaking away from such suppression, realizing it's okay to have a more dominent and "present" or "visible" personality type is liberating as well. - compared to my former self who lurked only in the shadows, never expressing anything at all.

I am still a....... reserved person. But I'm more upfront about it, I suppose.... I don't know how to say it. I'm.... not hiding myself anymore, perhaps that;sa good way to say it. Some things about me will never change though, but.....

I'm willing to have fun with it, to have fun with life. Though my pratical side will always be there.


-------------------------_


Well, that's more than enough analysis for now.
I will ahve more to write later.... but I am very tired.

 

[For Honor]

My new avatar makes me smile.......

I like it. But I'm curious - what do others think of it??
Is it too strange?

It comes from ......ah....... let me get the picture........



But I'm enjoying myself a lot more these days, and my "how to not be serios" developments have gone well. I'm proud, and can end today with a smile

 

[For Honor]

The inspiration for my new avatar........

yeah, my "modified" shruken version didn't come out so great - I had to do all the dark lines by hand , but oh well. It's okay. Besides.... it's good that I can accept...... imperfections.... even when I can easily right them........ ...... .....

we;ll see...... here's the picture, though -

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Your Smiley is just great. I like mine because it is me behind those eyes.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

The reality of it is, I can never have one avatar....... I'd get too bored, and it would never represent me all the time. NOt that I am speaking for others, this is just for me. So that's why I go through changes.

Unreal, false things like that, like images, are that way for me. Seldom are pictures, photos, portraits, images of any sort lasting with me, since they have a superficial value, and it wears off over time, for me.

But yes..... I'm liking where it is going.


ANd I like your avatar, wizard, it suites you well I believe.
It connects well with the personality you display to me.

 

[For Honor]

Hmm.....


"Just dance"

that's one way to not be serious all the time.
Just enjoy the music of the moment, and let yourself express comeletely....

 

[For Honor]

Heh, I'm back to my "just dance" mentality.......


I've been caught up in love too much. I need to remember to enjoy life, enjoy interaction. To just be happy.


"I don't expect good times any more. I make them"

That is something I have to remember, especially because of who I said it to.

I'm taking back control of my life, because I gave it to someone else for a bit, and obviously they didn't manage it well. But it's not really her fault, I really don't think she understood. But that's okay.

All are forgiven.


It's just good to know that I am my own true source.

And besides, the truth will always set me free. The only person who was ignorant was myself, and there was no malice. But......

This is good, because I will now remember.....
a barometer of how successful as situation is going is how much I can control how I feel in that situation.

I have tremendous emotional control, and I am that way by design. It's in the stars, and it's in my family, too. So when I start losing it, and doing so in a bad way....... well..... that's not a good sign



A Lesson Learned

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Happiness is a state of mind as Reality is a perception of time.

I am glad to see you writing in other areas.....your Love affair did not seem to be working out too well. As they say, let Love find you.

Myself......in a wait and see perch high up in the trees as the Elves quite often are.....looking down upon Mankind searching for whatever it is Mankind is seeking......except they never do seem to quite get it.

My new sword should be arriving soon by courier.......had expected it to be here sooner...but probably just a shipment delay.

carol
wizard2c

 

[UberBeaver]

I like the Japanese girl up there....I think. Is she over 18? Cause if she is, I like her. If she's not....I don't even see her.

 

[For Honor]

"I don't even see her" - what does that m ean?

------

Anyhow, I'm am pretty sure she's 18, maybe older.
There's a fine line between a girl being feminine, which I like, and being too young. I don'tlike young people at all, and that's just that.