Here I go again...

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

This is kind of rough, I haven't done anything with it in awhile but I thought I'd share anyway.


Heaven...or is it?
dark, muted colors I see
when I let life escape me
and pull the velvet cloud over my head

let the emerald rain wash all misery away
freeing the imprisoned memories
running from truth, like you and me
bound together by eternal catastrophe

I freefall into heaven
let you worship your hell...alone
unchanged
and unfeeling anymore

 

[Kieran McConville]

Originally posted by LarryMullen's_POPAngel:
This is kind of rough, I haven't done anything with it in awhile but I thought I'd share anyway.


Heaven...or is it?
dark, muted colors I see
when I let life escape me
and pull the velvet cloud over my head

let the emerald rain wash all misery away
freeing the imprisoned memories
running from truth, like you and me
bound together by eternal catastrophe

I freefall into heaven
let you worship your hell...alone
unchanged
and unfeeling anymore

Well (understanding it's still rough and all) I think it works. Especially the line "I freefall into heaven". It's an interesting twist considering many people regarding heaven as something that must be earned.

------------------
"I could meet you
We could be on the same side of the table
We could talk about what kind of person
you were tryin' to attract
We could look down from on high
and laugh..."

 

[Bonochick]

Originally posted by LarryMullen's_POPAngel:
running from truth, like you and me
bound together by eternal catastrophe

I think it's really nice, April, especially those lines...



------------------
"I don't know you,
But you don't know the half of it..."

 

[Sicy]

I like it.

Keep writing girl.

 

[zooropamanda]

and pull the velvet cloud over my head

Great line.
I really like this poem.You can definitely feel the misery there.

 

[The Wanderer]

I freefall into heaven
let you worship your hell...alone
unchanged
and unfeeling anymore

this was the standout line for me, I was worried when I saw the title though because I thought you were going to start singing that White Snake song from the 80s

imprisoned memories

yes, the ones you don't want to remember are the ones you have the most trouble forgetting, while so often the best memories slip away from us...

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drinking mercury, to the mysteries of all that you should never leave behind