Formally announcing a quest....

[For Honor]

I think this might be a quest for everyone, but I am making an "official announcement" because I realize I'm beginning to take it very seriously in my life.


My quest is: To learn the true meaning of love



I will come to write many things and thoughts and philosophies in this thread, and I welcome any such comments.






note: I will probably bring in some auxillary material, especially at the beginning, and perhaps throughout, and will do my best to credit the author/etc. I would welcome others to do the same, so long as they are considerate in what they post. Understand I'm taking a rather... serious approach to this.

 

[For Honor]

What compelled me to adress things in this way was that I was stumbling around and by happenstance came across a website.

http://www.novareinna.com/constellation/
It is a surprisingly incomplete site, yet what is there is amazingly in depth, and like few I've ever seen. But then again, I have not seen many.



Ah, a petty zodiac site.
Perhaps so.
I don't take it seriously, nor horoscopes.


But I am seeing patterns, and if nothing more, the perspectives presented are very "impelling", as it was said. I seek more answers because of them

To get technical for a moment, I am a Taurus for my sun sign, and a Leo for moon. The Leo part intrigued me, because I recently experienced a side of me..... that I never before knew. There are things inside me that I didn't expect or understand. And for me, using 'zodiac' signs is an easy way to interpret things, though any psychologist could use terms or patterns to describe human behavior in much ths same way.


Basically, as the Leo page indicates... I realize I have an immense goal to understand what love is. I wonder about it a lot, becaues it always seems.... to be a contradiction to the surrounding world. But that is just my perspective.


Anyhow... I am pleased to be on a quest of sorts, because, not only do I like such things, but it brings a realm of importance. I function well when I have a long term goal to guide me whenever i have moments of spare time, and I hope you all don't mind me sharing that here.

Because love can be artistic, I will probably write poems and stuff. But there may also be a lot other..... creations.... just like anything else.


Thanks for reading.
Your thoughts are welcome

 

[For Honor]

THE MOTHER OF GOD

THE threefold terror of love; a fallen flare
Through the hollow of an ear;
Wings beating about the room;
The terror of all terrors that I bore
The Heavens in my womb.

Had I not found content among the shows
Every common woman knows,
Chimney corner, garden walk,
Or rocky cistern where we tread the clothes
And gather all the talk?

What is this flesh I purchased with my pains,
This fallen star my milk sustains,
This love that makes my heart's blood stop
Or strikes a Sudden chill into my bones
And bids my hair stand up?




W.B. Yeats


-------------------

A cool rendition of Drowning Man + Bono reciting Yeat's poem in the beginning:

http://www.geocities.com/coolsponsors/?200526?20055

 

[For Honor]

Drowning Man

U2 Lyrics - Drowning Man


Take my hand
You know I'll be there,
If you can I'll cross
The sky for your love,
For I have promised for
To be with you tonight
And for the time that will come.

Take my hand
You know I'll be there,
If you can I'll cross
The sky for your love
And I understand
These winds and tides,
This change of times
Won't drag you away.
Hold on, hold on tightly,
Hold on and don't let go
Of my love.

The storms will pass
It won't be long now.
The storms will pass
But my love last forever.

And take my hand,
You know I'll be there,
If you can I'll cross the sky
For your love.
Give you what I hold dear,
Hold on, hold on tightly.
Hold on, hold on tightly.
Rise up, rise up with wings,
Like eagles you'll run, you'll run.
You'll run and not grow weary.

Take my hand, take my hand.
Hold on tightly.
Hold on tightly.
This love last forever,
This love last forever,
Take my hand,
Take my hand.




first time played live: 1983-06-05: Red Rocks Ampitheater, Denver, Colorado
last time played live: 1983-06-05: Red Rocks Ampitheater, Denver, Colorado


(http://www.macphisto.net/u2lyrics/Drowning_Man.html)


(pda jukebox)
windows media audio: mms://63.208.0.55/7/423/8384/3b858b51/mtvrdstr.download.akamai.com/8512/wmp/3/120/693_1_5_05.asf

 

[For Honor]

this is not the starting point, but I... I should at least begin somewhere

'The mother of god', the zodiac, and 'Drowning man' are merely random starting points in this quest...

It could have been any thing, and poem, any thought, any song, perhaps not even a love song. These, perhaps for convience, or perhaps for sentimental closeness to the front of my mind, were selected. But that is just because I started this thread. Not this discussion, but this thread, and those were my choices, off the top of my head.



Love may be only as complicated as you make it, but to me, it is very complicated, and I didn't want to impose a "starting point" on anyone. There is no starting point, really. It is more like ....


It really is like I'm listening to a group of people conversing.....


I can hear two people's voices... and I cannot see or hear, and I cannot join them. Not yet. Perhaps.... perhaps I am hiding....? I don't know....

But I can hear voices, and I don't know what they really mean, I'm just hearin the words and not understanding completely. But the people are talking about love, I know that for sure. And I know that I have joined the conversation, listening to it, in the midst of great explanations and revelations. Yet there is so much information, and I have so little knowledge myself, my brain is working hard to retain the facts and opinions stated by those who are conversing.

I'm hiding, listening to their conversation. I will be able to join it, once I learn enough about love. The more I listen, slowly, the more voices start talking, though only one at a time. The differnt perspectives are drawing more and more closer to the truth, of that I am sure. But I know... I know that at this moment, I know very little. I'm listening, patiently, and learning. This will take time, yet I know the reward is worhtwhile.


Though theoretical, and though metaphorical, that is exactly how I feel. I've just started, yet I know the quest is not my own, not soley my own. I know we are in many ways in this together, and we will each come across our own individual answers in our own way. So please, I am not trying to impose my views of love on anyone. But I am trying to learn my way. I would like for all people who come across this thread, or anyone I meet, to perhaps find get one step closer to finding their own answer to my initially listed goal, my quest.


this is not the starting point, but I... I should at least begin somewhere

 

[ZeroDude]

You my faraway friend need to understand that the nature of love is truely intangible, not comprehensible by man in its fullness, you can question to find your own answers that believe me will come, from where? Though you may ask, in my experience they will come from yourself and those close to you, you seem too hell bent on looking through tired excuses of philosophy and theories unproven due to the complexities of human nature, your an extremely intelligent, well spoken lad to the point that I may not be eloquent enough to compose my points in completely legible and understandable ways for your needs in this quest of yours and it is YOUR quest, you need to stop pondering the ideas and beliefs of others but to delve into your own heart, soul and mind, in retrospect love is love as death is death as God is man as man is Devil as we walk through this world truely unknowing, love would not be true if not for its mystery, lifes would not be fulfilled without the mystery that still remains to this day, screw philosophy ( Ironically that itself happens to be one ) live my man, live for your own sake, look inside yourself, there is no answer for the questions you may ask, ignorance accepted is ignorant bliss, thank you for your time

 

[For Honor]

You make good points.


If nothing more, perhaps this thread will become a mad scientiest's workshop, like all my others.


I don't know. But in many ways I am agreeing wiht you already.


I think that everyone does need to find their own meaning, and yes, it cannot come from anywhere else but your own combination of mind heart and soul.


Perhaps this may turn into an open notebook of sorts, a pad of things that I leave out in the open, but write down and think over. Who knows?


This is very much an experiement, and is fitting for my quest itself. I can't "find" the answer, it has to come from inside me, and resonate out, like all real things do.


I wonder....

how much of anything is understanding the world around you... perhaps it is more how much of your mark you leave on the world..

another meaningless question, perhaps.

 

[For Honor]

When someone says they love you, and it isn't really expected or promted in any way, it is spectacular and amazing

I've reached a point where I can't help but swell with passion and care. Perhaps this is just a moment for today, but, it has been going on for a week like that now...


And everyday it is said, a shared confimation, or really... it is at it's best the way it is now -- it is a state ment and not a question; "I love you".

Yes, I realized I am young. But learning about love is indeed a thing of experience.


I understand, though, that no matter what happenes, this person will always have a special place in my heart, and it is unconditional. Even long ago, when we were not so close, I always felt something about her, I would always remember. And now, I can't say I will never love another, but with her, I know I will always love her in at least the smallest way.

Our lives are intertwined, andI don't thik either one of us will ever forget whatever it is we have.

 

[For Honor]

love seems to be raelly, partially, at least, a state of unconditional care.


I love a team
I love PRIDE, my favorite song
I love her

All of those things will never really change
I may not always feel an emotional high from them
But they are always there

Same thing with family

It isn't really that yuo are compelled to do something
it's that you want to

" 'in the name of love' "


FOr me, at least, that is more so how I see love. And I think that will always be true for me

 

[ZeroDude]

"I love her but she isn't there"

That hurts you know lol, maybe I'll, I'm not sure really, I'm not in a conversational mood

 

[For Honor]

well....


good luck with that.



I'm worried about wasting my love on someone who doesn't appreciate it, yes. But at the same time, I'm living. I don't really have anyone else I want to give it to anyway, so that's how it goes.

From what I understand, real love endures even when you don't have an emotional high. Or better yet, real love isn't based on an emotional high.

Reminds me of the matrix

I finally, after all these years, saw the last movie.




"Why are you so persistent?"


"Because I choose to be"
(or something like that - glorifying the human power of choice.)


So ultimatly, I understand I am in love because I choose to be...

 

[For Honor]

And as any good U2 listener knows........





....The hands that build can also pull down....

.........................even the hands of love



( I can hear "exit" right now...)

 

[For Honor]

Hey, ZeroDude - your writers block certainly broke! I like your last one a lot - yes, it is essentially a present day "Bullet the Blue"

---------------------


I made a sort of discovery today. I always knew this to be true, I just never acknowledged it straight out --


Love has taught me so much

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[For Honor]

Love, The Teacher


Oh
Oh my love
Oh my Darling

You have taught me oh,
So much...

How do...
...You know?
(thanks to "Unchained Melody" + Righteous Brothers + U2)

- -

You teach me
How to be
How to be a man
How to live

How to hold my head up
How to think
How to care

You teach me, Love,
Teach me how to love.


You lift me up
Save me from self destruction
When I had nothing left
You came to me, and found me
Saved me from despair
And pain
(The pain of my own existance)

With or without you...
No, just because of you
My love for you is forever
FOr you are my first love
And you taught me how to love
You taught me how to sing
You taught me how to write love letters
...yeah you...


But I am so greatful
You show me what you need, Love
And you need a great man, Love
I want to be a great man, Love
I want to be your great man, Love

I want to be your hero, Love
So show me the way,
And I will do my best for you, Love
Because I love you, Love

And I want you to have your hero
ANd I want you to have me

So tell me how to be a man
Tell me how to be
And I will become,
For You, Love,
I will become something great.




---------------------------------------------------------------

This peice means a lot to me.
You can even intepret it as a statment to god, because god is love, and god teaches you. Perhaps that is the real way god teaches - through love.

But also, it has a lot of personal meaning to me...

I'll put this in my other thread, too, about my quest for understanding love...

 

[For Honor]

I realize now....

All love has taught me.
Instances where I have shown love to others,
And especially when others have shown love to me

I am a product of love, or lack there of. But I have seen a lot of love in my days, and I think I am very fortunate for that. Love pushes me in the right direction, makes me a better person all around.

Makes me more confident, makes better. Love lifts me up. Love from my mom, dad, stepmom... form my family, from my friends... form the people I love, all of them.



So I think part of my quest - part of of my understanding of love...

has to do with the teaching power of love. The growth that love promotes, advocates, and allows. Love seems to be like sunlight to a plant, or is it the foundation of the soil around it? Or both?


At least personally (which, of course, is essenatially my role in this thread, my question, therefore; my answer), personally, love involves teaching, growth, and understanding.

You can go religious, or not. But love's power is there. It draws upon me to enhance.

 

[For Honor]

And today, tonight, I learn more about love

But I can't write to bear what I leaned.
Not yet...

 

[For Honor]

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[For Honor]

I wonder.........


I think I may have confused this quest for love with something else... I think I was missing the forest for the trees...


It seems to me now that......
Only by becoming something that I am supposed to become can I have everything I want...

The reason I say this is because I haven't worked a day in my life, for anything at all. I have always had things handed to me, basically, and......

I have to learn to get waht I want, and be competent and able to be successful in life. I can't sit around and mop and wait


"Begin everyway as if it were on purpose"
Because it is.

I have to find that purpose and direction in life. And I think love is related, for me, for FH. But really, being who I am will truly tell. I know that sounds kind of weird... but...


I need long term goals to guide me, otherwise I flutter. And I have regressed pretty bad, all through my senior year. And I am continuing my old habbits...

I need to be more purposeful, and expand my competence....

I can't take sitting around all day and doing nothing...
I'm waiting so much for college, for something real to begin

But I have 5 months. Between then and now, I have to get in gear. Mostly just by rearranging my internal structure. I don't have any structure right now.......

 

[For Honor]

I'm.. going to have to establish a sort of base for everything. ...


I know it sounds strange for me to word it like that, but I need structure and discipline... badly... I realize now. And...


I don't know, everyday when I wake up, I will check in here or something like that. I will build on it, but I have to remember this, and keep going with it


Because whatever this notion is in my head...... it's the only thing that is actually real in my life right now. And I don't like the level I am at - - I need to get better, more competent, otherwise I will self destruct and spend my days... lingering in nothing.....

It's not much right now, but I will continue with a new direction in this thread, or create another one all together. But I think I might have found something "big".... I jsut have to keep with it, and I need.....

I'm really bad at starting things....... (fixed earth sign Taurus), but once I get going I'll be okay. I just need to keep this spark alive until I gain enough steam....

But I have to do this.
I'm getting too old to be too young

I'm not a child anymore
I am an adult.......

 

[For Honor]

It is so strange.....


it seems clear now. I don't like waht I see, but that doesn't matter. It's real.


.........I;ve got a lot of work to do.

I'm still a boy, alittle child........

 

[For Honor]

I see... and now the stage is set


"VIIII"

The one I never finished.
The bloodroot of it all. If I never started it, never saw it there


None of this would have happened, and I wouldn't be FH
Imight not eve be in this forum

But it comes down to it, sort of poetically.
Me
2 days
My writing skills
My passions and emotions
1 thing from the past
Does it extend into the future?

I will find out soon enough
I will find out soon enough......



It is already in motion, though

"The die has been cast"

(I always thought that meant that somebody was dieing. But I understand now it is a refrence to taking risks, rolling dice... )

 

[For Honor]

There is something new to write about.............


I was going to start a new thread, but it reminded me of what I wrote earlier in this one, so I dug it up again....

 

[For Honor]

?Where is it????

 

[wizard2c]

reply

For Honor.......how is the quest coming?

Wizard is continually on a quest........

Haven't heard from you in a while.......all okay with the World?

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

The quest has taken a different shape now......

I will come back and write more about ........ how things have changed....

ALl my writing about wondering of destiny.....


And I've not seen what is right in front of me.
The greatest oppertunity in the world



I don't know if it would be for a knight...

I'll explain it in time...

in time


and I want to come back and read everything you all have wrote, but I need a little more time.


TOday, it has been declared, will be a day of action.
But I am waiting to come back and read what everyone has written.....


But for now..... I'm off.........