First time sharing on this forum... here it goes

[browneyedgirl]

This was wrote about 3 years ago I've not really wrote any poetry in about a year ,so I guess this is my attempt in finding out if I should even continue to struggle....kinda sensitive,but I want honest opinions on what you think of it..


Strange days lay ahead.
Warm summer breezes mix with the ocean,conjuring up changes.
We dance to an unknown tune.
Charmed by the night,and each other.
The moon hangs full,above our bodies on the beach.
I stumble with you to the water,won't you ask me to come with you?
Your shelter is up above ,but I will not enter without invitation.
I'll follow you inside the gate,but you must ask me first.
Ask my name.
Put your clothes back on and ask my name.
Sit beside me,hold my hand,and I'll drive us up there above the shore.
Once inside the long hallway is erie and oddly decorated.
Am I sorry I'm here?
Do I want to leave?
Do I want to stay?
Allnight? Till Daylight?
We walk to the windowed room,watch the surfers riding the earth.
You lay on the floor and I will sing a song called October.


O.K. now the hard part...What do ya think???

 

[UpwiththeSun]

This is great! You should definitely keep writing and sharing no matter how hard it is. Believe me, I know how hard it is to share. Writing for me is very personal, but to be able to share it with others who may have the same feelings is awesome!

------------------
"I wonder what's gonna happen to you.
You wonder what has happened to me"

 

[browneyedgirl]

UP, Thanks so much for sharing your opinion...
I've had delusions of being a "real writer" my whole life,my current job is as about as far away from that as you can get,but still I write.Actually this if the first time anyone has read my stuff that was'nt a friend or my mom,they can't exactly say,GOD,THAT REALLY SUCKS!!!
So it was really nice to hear that it even made sense to anyone else,better yet that it actually got a compliment!!!
but I digress, I just wanted to say thanks for being so kind.

 

[foray]

Writing is very rewarding; don't give up. You've got the feel for it already. I encourage you to keep at it, cos the more you write, the better you will be--it's just like, er, Math!

foray