"Filler: Positive Rhythems in Negative Space"

[Michael Griffiths]

?Filler: Positive Rhythms in Negative Space?

Sitting here
drawing hearts with empty spaces
I?m being filled by
something.
Listening to Leonard Cohen,
your favourite,
(not depressing, but enlightening, you once said)
I get lost,
and pulled into the current?
his voice.
The music grabs me,
unaware,
and I fall away into the flow of it all:
??take this longing from my tongue?
Let me see your beauty broken down?
like you would do? for one you
loved??
My mind flows backwards
buoyant
in the current?
I see you again: under a cloak
of long dark hair,
dark
eyes as large as your world
lost,
and you disappeared
into the world,
and out of my eyes??
reach:
the music takes me there?
back to Europe:
you walk the cobblestone path
of Prague.
The air is crisp;
your past is cold?
warmth
the sunshine scatters across the cobblestone,
and leads you past the alleyways,
through the shadows
and empty spaces.
You feel the warmth beneath your feet:
grounded.
Out of the bright morning light
you kiss us both
(Leonard and me)
goodnight?
??like you would do?for one you loved??
The song comes to an end.
The c.d. player stops,
resonating:
??like you would do?for one you loved??

??like you would do?for one you loved??

??like you would do??


By Michael Griffiths


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The Tempest

 

[Michael Griffiths]

I didn't think the formatting would work, and it didn't. It's supposed to have certain indentations (to create rythem -- hence, the title). I wrote this last year, so I thought I'd post it. It works way better with the indentations! Oh well...

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The Tempest

 

[Achtung_Bebe]

Michael, I think that's really great:

the sunshine scatters across the cobblestone,
and leads you past the alleyways,
through the shadows
and empty spaces.
You feel the warmth beneath your feet:
grounded.

I think the format/rhythm works fine

I like me some Cohen, too

 

[Michael Griffiths]

Achtung_Bebe,

Thanks for the positive feedback. The indentations and spacing didn't show up (due to the formatting of the message board), so it doesn't flow as well as it should, but it still works, I guess.

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The Tempest

 

[bicyclingfish]

Michael,
I hear your words and the music. Leonard must've helped you write this piece with the tone and all.

I envision the entire scene, the writer and his subject. It pulls me into a wintertime of memories, and now I'm going to go put on Cohen's greatest.

Thanks for this great poem.- Adam