FH's thread - I'll write more over time

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wow, those were some pathetic posts..... and some awesome chips........


Anyways.........


Someone used the L word in a email they sent me.... I'll probably write about that tmorrow.

I am pleasantly tired at midnight, so I will call it a night.....
but I will write, because that is what's right
to one and to all
to all a goodnight
because that is right

no need to fight
just doo whats right
use your might
and do whats right
whats right
whats right





even if you don't know
make the best decision with what you have

I won't blame you for the results, just do your best


Goodnight :)
 
:rant:



This is one of those things that annoys me with people today...


I don't know, your location says you are in Australia? But I know this is definietely a common American thing...



People try to "be the victim", and get sympathy that way. Make you feel bad for something they did. People refuse to take responsibility and instead make it seem like someone else is hurthing them. It is so backwards. And pathetic.

I don't know your situation, but it sounds like your dad is being a bit of a victim, and choosing the easy way out, instead of being the hero and doing the hard stuff. (perhaps admitting he made some mistakes in the past?)



But again, it is easy to point the finger at others. So, even myself, I always ask, "what have I done in this situation?", and try to figure out if I am trying to be the victim in some way. This is another thing that has come up lately... but it irratetes me so much, when people strive "to be the victim". I can't stand it. And even when I see it in myself, I am disgusted.


It is okay to be the victim sometimes, when it is justified. But .... I don't know..... people seem to be rewared for irresponsibility and insincerity these days....

:down: :shifty: :angry:



------------


again, I don't know if this is the right place to write this, but apparently one thing lead to another in my mind. heh... :huh:
 
(I'm going throuhg some old stuff, and I'm going to put some old essays/papers here. This is a better place for them, anyways....)
 
The Aeneid of Virgil


Book 1
Translation:


I sing of arms and of a man, the first Trojan who came to Italy compelled by fate, exiled from Troy, to Italy to the Lavine cost. This man, thrown many times on land and on the deep by the violence of the gods, through the lasting hate of June, suffered much in war as well. The Latin race, the Albin fathers rose and the high walls of Rome. Help me, muse, recall the reasons. Why did the queen of heaven, drive a man known for goodness through so many works and perils? Was the slight outrage an attribute of the celestial mind?

The ancient city, colonized by the Tyrians, Carthage, opposing Italy far off the Tiber river. Rich and with resources, war loving and aggressive. In Juno held even her precious Samos in les regards/ Here were her arms, here was her chariot. Here the goddess ruled for generations. If the fates allowed in these manner; the power extends through the region.


Book II

The story begins with the tale of the Trojan war. Nearing its end, the famous story of the Trojan Horse is told. The Trojans accepted the horse so as to not offend the Gods, such as Minerva. It was not because the Trojans were fools, but instead, because they were respectful that the Horse was brought inside the gates. After the massive attack that ensued, Venus persuaded Aeneas not to kill Helen, after explaining that it has nothing to do with Helen or Paris, but that it is all by the will of the gods. Book II concludes with Aeneas escaping the sacked city of Troy.

Book III

This section refers to Aeneas’s wanderings in search of his destiny. Throughout this book, the role of the gods is evident simply by the actions Aeneas is “forced” to take. His interactions with Apollo sent him to Crete, though his search did not end there. Aeneas was told to move further on, and to find is real “homeland”. Running into perils such as harpies and Cyclops, the brave Aeneas ventured onwards. Meeting a prophetess and an unburied soldier, small tasks were part of a much greater one, and Aeneas move from place to place, slowly getting closer to Italy, his goal, his new homeland. The conclusion of this book comes with the arrival at Drepanuan, where Anchise dies.

Book IV

This book talks about Dido and Aeneas. Cupid influences Dido to fall in love with Aeneas, which would break her vow to remain a widow- but who can argue with the gods? Juno and Venus work together to get Aeneas and Dido together, though Juno does it so as to keep the Trojans away from Italy. Eventually, Jupiter sends Mercury to tell Aeneas to get on his way to Italy, though his departure will displease Dido. Because Aeneas is compelled by the gods to leave, Dido becomes distraught, and kills herself.

Book V

Aeneas’ ships are burned by Iris, a messenger of Juno, who once again displays her discontent with Aeneas.

Book VI

Upon reaching Italy, Aeneas and co. meet Sybil, a priestess. Apollo is praised, and Aeneas promises to build a temple in his honor when he reaches Latium. Apollo predicts that a war will be fought upon arriving there. After completing a task with the help of his mother, Venus, Aeneas ventures into the underworld to see his dad. He meets Dido in the Fields of Mourning, discovering that she committed suicide. Upon meeting his father, the shades of the underworld reveal much of the history of Rome, from Romulus to Julius Caesar. Knowing wars must be fought, Aeneas returns to his ship.

Book VII

Finding King Latinus in a “situation”, Aeneas eventually pursues his daughter’s hand in marriage. The King comes to see that Aeneas is the fateful person who should marry his daughter, and not Turnus. Juno sends Allecto to interfere and mess up the wedding plans. Influencing Lavinia’s mother as well as Turnus. The stage is being set for a massive battle between Aeneas and Turnus.

Book VIII

Preparing for war, Aeneas seeks the aid of the Arcadians, and is welcomed warmly to a feast upon arrival. Stories of Hercules and Saturn are told. King Evander is generous. Meanwhile, Venus worries about her son. She talks to her husband, Vulcan, about this, and asks him to make special weapons to ensure his success, which he does. In Arcadia, troops are gathered and neighboring kingdoms join in. The King sends his son Pallas along to learn the arts of war from Aeneas. The Trojan force is so great in number that they have to walk back, and not sail, taking time. During the march back, Aeneas receives Vulcan’s gifts from Venus; sword, spear, helmet, corselet, and shield. The shield shows pictures of the future greatness of Rome, though Aeneas does not understand them.

Book IX


With Aeneas away, Juno urges Turnus to take action. He attacks, though finds no weaknesses, as the Trojans chose not to openly fight a battle. Their ships were left unguarded, but due to an old blessing from Cybele, Saturn‘s sister, Turnus did not get to burn them up. Sending reports of the Latin’s movements, the Trojan captains find two wiling men to go out and find Aeneas. Along the way, Nisus and Euryalus run into an enemy camp, and decide to take out some captains. They sought to return with the helmet of a major captain for their glory, yet they ended up being captured. The heads of the two men were paraded in front of the Trojans by the Latins.A battle ensues as the Latins and Trojan square off. Turnus finds his way inside the gate, and kills many, as many Latins were killed prior to his arrival. Turnus is almost outnumbered and doomed, but he escapes down the Tiber river.


Book X

Jupiter calls for a council, yet Juno blames the Trojans entirely for all the battling. The battle between the Latins and Trojans continues, as both sides prove to be fierce competitors. Pallas kills Halesus. Juno influences Turnus, and Aeneas fights bravely on the battlefield.

Book XI

Eventually, Pallas, the son of Evander, is killed. A truce is made between the two sides for 12 days in order to bury the dead. The Latins become wary of defeat, and Turnus states he will fight Aeneas alone. The Troans approach the Latin city, though Aeneas has tactfuly divided his army in two. Camilla appears with her Volscian warriors, and the advancing Trojan army is pushed back. Arruns, captain of the second army, kills Camilla, yet Diana sends Opis to revenge this act, and Arruns is slain. The Latins retreat back into their city.

Book XII

The one on one fight is about to begin between Aeneas and Turnus, but before that, Juno tries to stir up trouble between the two waiting armies. Things slowly get started, and Aeneas tries to halt his men from fighting, yet upon Aeneas being wounded by an arrow, Turnus urges his men to continue attacking. After being healed, Aeneas advanced, and Amata hangs herself, believing Turnus dead. Eventually, the two leaders find themselves and duel. Jupiter lets fate take its course, but says Juno will be the first goddess of the new land, aggrees to let the inhabitants of the land have their old ways and religions and languages. Turnus attacks, yet Aeneas strikes him with the spear. He hesitates to kill until seeing Pallas’ belt on Turnus, and then takes revenge for King Evander’s son.
 
<P>Jesse Parent</P>
<P>SUPA Sociology</P>
<P>Period 6</P>
<P>Final Paper</P>
<P>6/6/2005</P>
<P> </P><FONT size=6>
<P>The Lasting Effects of Divorce</P></FONT>
<P>A study on how children of divorced/separated parents are affected by divorce as they continue to develop into adulthood.</P>
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<P> </P><I>
<P>Abstract:</P></I><I>
<P>Divorce is a subject that is widely known and opinionated, yet it is still a phenomenon that takes place frequently and often without consideration of it’s effects. This secondary analysis looks into how the divorce affects the children, and focuses on the children’s path into adult hood. Divorce is not only an event that causes immediate distress, confusion, and disorientation, but it also generates manifestations and consequences over the course of a life, for better or worse. The factors that play into these consequences of divorce integral to understanding how those who experience divorce develop. As an adult, children of divorced parents are more likely to experience depression, obtain lower levels of education and income, have less pleasing relationships, and ultimately, a lower marriage success rate. It seems as though this cycle is a self-reproducing one, and the studies below indicate that to be true. Even when a divorce is appropriate (parents separating due to a high level of conflict), the impact of that divorce is relevant and present for years to come.</P></I>
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<P>The issue of divorce and separation is one that has intrigue and meaning for both parents and children, the young and the old. Few people, scholarly journals included, would disagree with the idea that divorce has a huge impact on all the people touched by it. Yet many do not see how that impact lasts throughout the course of a life, even if only in subtle ways. This study takes a look at how divorce affects the involved children not in the immediate sense, but in the long term, developmental sense.</P><B>
<P>Secondary Analysis</P></B>
<P>This study was done via a secondary analysis method. Prior research and articles were looked over, and through review and consideration, a main idea was made. The articles used in this paper are used because they support the abstract, and essentially, because they are good examples as to how divorce truly does have a lasting effect on children. From the articles about to be mentioned, this paper was synthesized and generated: Amatto, 1995 -“Parental Divorce, Marital Conflict, and Offspring well-Being during Early Adulthood”; Orbuch, 1995 “Effects of Childhood Family Background on Adult Marital Quality and Perceived Stability.”; Ross, 1999 “Parental Divorce, Life-Course disruption, and Adult Depression”; and Vandewater, 1998 “Influences of Family Structure and Parental Conflict on Children‘s Well-Being”. For organizational purposes, this paper will be divided into four sections, essentially divided by the different articles they derive from. At the conclusion, a final summary will be made in regards to all the articles, as well as the process of creating this paper.</P><I></I>
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<P> </P>
<P> </P>
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<P>The first study that was undertaken in this secondary analysis was that entitled “Parental Divorce, Marital Conflict, and Offspring well-Being during Early Adulthood”, by Paul Amatto, et. al.. </P>
<P>This study focuses on the levels of psychological well-being and marital well-being of children of divorce in their adulthood. Amato, Spencer, and Booth used a 12 year longitudinal study of over 2,000 married persons aged 55 and under. Their article separated into three sections of analysis: High conflict families, low conflict families, and families that did not undergo divorce. The outcomes were measured in terms of “psychological well being, the quality of intimate relationships, and ties with kin and friends”, and as such, those who were more troubled by divorce had lower ratings in each of those three categories. Using multiple regression, and various charts, tables, and diagrams, Amatto et. al. showed the negative correlation between experiencing a negative divorce and beings psychologically unfit, having poor intimate relationship quality, and having trouble with peers and siblings.</P>
<P>Yet it should be noted that in some situations, divorce may not be excessively detrimental. In high conflict families, divorce showed itself to be the better course of action, as children were better off if their parents divorced as opposed to the parents enduring a destructive relationship. In low conflict families, the opposite was true, as children had better well-being if their family stayed together, rather then perhaps unnecessarily going through divorce. In families that did not go through divorce at all, it was found that parental conflict consequently was linked to the well being of the child; greater conflict left the child with less well being. The same correlation was found in the areas of offspring physiological distress, overall happiness, marital happiness, and social resources. The study goes on to explain that simply experiencing a divorce is not necessarily a harmful thing. Instead, it depends on whether the divorce was appropriate or not, which is determined by the amount of parental conflict. One of the strongest theories supported is that a child is better off in a single parent home than in a two parent home with great parental conflict and hostile environment. In the conclusion of the study, it also notes that divorce, whether benign or not, is a factor that can affect a child throughout the course of its life. Depending greatly on the benefits and costs of the divorce, it can be generally “good” or “bad”, but the consequences of the divorce are numerous and undoubtedly leave their mark on the child as it develops.(Amatto, 1995)</P>
<P>The second study reviewed was the Orbuch 1995 study, “Effects of Childhood Family Background on Adult Marital Quality and Perceived Stability.” </P>
<P> </P>
<P>Webster, House, and Orbuch’s study deals with the effect of single parent childhood family structures on adult marital stability and quality. Using a sample of over 9,000 interview respondents of mixed races ad backgrounds, the study delved into the association between divorce/single parent family structure in childhood and the future likelihood of reproducing a similar atmosphere (as in, the likely hood of having a divorce if you experienced one in your childhood). The authors of the study developed a “five-category family history variable” that was used to score individuals in terms of family experiences. Experiences, such as death of parent, were used in scoring and classifying the subjects. Additionally, another coded system was developed to asses marital happiness and stability, regarding many things from perceived happiness, to shouting vs. speaking calmly in a disagreement, to being hit or hitting. Also, factors such as education were considered.</P>
<P>Two of the first results stated in the article were how single parent families had lower socioeconomic status, and that the youngest group of people who underwent divorce never lived with their father. It went on to say that, compared to growing up with a stable two parent family, adults who were children of divorce frequently had more strain in their marriages, if they lasted. Also, children of divorce were also more likely to believe their marriage was in trouble of failing. This is one more study that indicates the repetitive cycle of divorce and broken marriages, a phenomenon that is easily viewed but not so easily understood. One key finding in the extensive study was that children of divorce, more so that any other category, show the most insecurity towards marriage. (Oburch, 1995). Their tolerance and resilience in the face of marital hardship is significantly lower than that of children of two parent families. This again follows the path of divorce being a seemingly cyclic event in society.</P>
<P>Intriguingly so, even when they themselves claim to be in happy relationship/marriage, children of divorce are much more likely to exhibit detrimental behaviors to the relationship. (Orbuch, 1995). This finding is a huge indicator that divorce has a lasting effect on the child, for it generates more problems to overcome. When a child witnesses divorce first hand, it is still learning and perceiving behavior. Unfortunately, down the road, that behavior is likely to be repeated. In order to overcome divorce, the child must somehow overcome this past experience, and thus, not let the past dictate the future. But that, of course, is easier said than done.</P>
<P>The third study reviewed in this secondary analysis was that of Ross, 1999 “Parental Divorce, Life-Course disruption, and Adult Depression”</P>
<P> </P>
<P>This study examined the connections between adult depression and childhood divorce. Using a large sample of 2,502 adults interviewed via phone, Ross and Mirowsky explored what the association was between the happenings of the divorce in childhood, and how that affected the child into adulthood and depression.</P>
<P>Though it was established that there were no direct “intrapsychic” correlations between the divorce of the parents and the child‘s depression as an adult, it was clear that the manifestations and offshoots from the divorce were major life factors (Ross, 1999). Socioeconomic status and interpersonal relationships were the areas most visibly affected by childhood divorce (Ross, 1999). A divorce presented many obstacles, as children who experienced it often had lower levels of education, lower ranking occupations, lower income, and more economic hardships that those children without a divorce. In regards to relationships, children of divorce experienced a higher level of mistrust and cynical thinking about people, were more likely to marry young, more likely to have multiple divorces and remarriages, and were generally unhappy with relationships. There was also a connection made between education and depression, as higher levels of education conveyed lower levels of depression. In totality, early marriages, economic struggles, failed marriages, uneasy relationships, and high levels of mistrust are all associated with adult depression. (Ross, 1999)</P>
<P>It is clear from this study that divorce affects a child greatly into his adult hood, as his life becomes drastically changed by the actions of his parents. The most powerful point made was how there is a cumulative effect stemming from the divorce- it not only affects the child immediately following it, but the consequences of the divorce can expand into other categories, from schooling to money to relationships to marriage. The divorce is shown to be a transcendental factor in the life of a child, and certainly not a momentary incident.</P>
<P> </P>
<P> </P>
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<P> </P>
<P> </P>
<P>The final article reviewed for this study was Vandewater‘s 1998 study, “Influences of Family Structure and Parental Conflict on Children‘s Well-Being”</P>
<P> </P>
<P>This article by Vandewater and Lansford focuses on the well-being of children in regards to two situations: married and never divorced, and divorced not-remarried. It used a sample of children from 10-17 years old, as well as single parent and dual parent family situations.</P>
<P>Some theories have stated in the past that the structure of a family affects the well being of a child (Amato 1993), yet the research within the article sought to and accomplished justifying that parental conflict is a much stronger variable. While the economic hardship of having a single mother family situation is considered and acknowledged, the strongest factor in the overall well-being of a child is the relationship with the parent. Parental warmth was a major indicator of how the child felt about him/herself, and likewise, the amount of conflict between parents also influenced the child’s character (Vandewater, 1998). In regards to which situation (married, never divorced or divorced, and never remarried), there was no considerable difference between the two groups. So the article proved the hypothesis of parental conflict/warmth towards children as being the major factor in a child’s well being, as opposed to how a family is structured. (Vandewater, 1998).</P>
<P>This article clearly stated how parental warmth is key, as a better parent child relationship would thus allow the child to relate better and feel better about a variety of other things throughout the course of their life. Indeed, the relationship between parent and child plays a major role in shaping both how the child feels, and also how the child will interact with the world in the future. Divorce is shown to be an event that dictates many life aspects, but this article highlights the truth that a strong bond between parent and child can help overcome hardships. And, if that is the case, then perhaps that child can form other strong bonds later on in life. As long as the child can generate sources of strength, stability, trust and comfort, then it should have a good chance at being successful and happy.</P><B>
<P>Conclusion/discussion</P></B>
<P> </P>
<P> </P>
<P>Undeniably so, divorce effects all around it, and does so for years to come. Even the memory of divorce can instill fear of divorce. The impact of divorce/separation on a child is one that resonates through its life, but also its being, affecting the ability to have good relationships, have higher socioeconomic status, and it even plays a major role in individual marriage situations.</P>
<P> </P>
<P>There are obvious limitations to a secondary analysis, yet there are obvious truths associated with it as well. If many researchers point to the same direction, then it is likely that there is something important about that topic - which in this case is divorce. Hopefully, more awareness of how divorce affects children throughout life will encourage parents making the right decisions. That does not mean not getting a divorce, for sometimes getting a divorce is the right thing to do (Amatto, 1995). But this does mean that parents should take the time to develop quality relationships with their children.</P><B>
<P>WORKS CITED</P></B><FONT size=2>
<P> </P>
<P> </P>
<P> </P>
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<DIR></FONT>
<P>Amato, Paul R., Spencer, Laura L., Booth, Alan. “Parental Divorce, Marital Conflict, and Offspring well-Being during Early Adulthood” <U>Social Forces</U> 73(3) March (1995): 895-915.</P>
<P>Orbuch, Terri L., House, James S., Webster, Patty S. “Effects of Childhood Family Background on Adult Marital Quality and Perceived Stability.” <U>The American Journal of Sociology</U> 101 (2) September (1995): 404-32.</P>
<P>Ross, Catherine E. and Mirowsky, John. “Parental Divorce, Life-Course disruption, and Adult Depression” <U>Journal of The Marriage and the Family</U> 61 November (1999): 1034-1045.</P>
<P>Vandewater, Elisabeth A. and Lansford, Jennifer E. “Influences of Family Structure and Parental Conflict on Children‘s Well-Being” <U>Family Relations</U> 47.4 (1998): 323-330.</P></DIR></DIR>
 
Jesse Parent
Final Paper
Latin 12 H
Period 1




The myth of Europa



EUROPA


Roman mythology is one force that has echoed throughout history. It has drawn from the past, even in the times prior to the Republic or Empire, and it certainly has hold over the future. It was said that the sun never set on the British empire, but the resonance of Rome has no limit- there is no day, month, or even year in regards to Rome. Indeed a wholesome benchmark in all things regarding mankind, it is impossible to overlook. And today, something so simple as a myth can be used as a basis for an elaborate discussion. This myth happens to be a very fitting one, as it not only deals with the King of Gods according to Roman religion, but also the formation of a continent and how it received it’s name. But those are merely the implications in regards to the past. The present day formation of the European Union, and modern astrology also pay tribute to Rome and one of it’s famous myths. The story of Europa and Zeus is one that serves as a massive portal into many things, and though it is often used as a reference, it is more than merely an obelisk to be taken note of. An endless list of connections can be made to Europa and Zeus, and ultimately, of course, from Rome to the world itself.

It is best to start at the root of a situation, so let us start with the actual myth itself. There are many versions within Roman mythology, and like any work of art, it can be open to interpretation. Research indicates that Europa’s parents are slightly disputed, but at the same time that is not a major aspect of the myth or story itself. In the land of Phoenicia, there was a city named Sidon within which Europa lived. Some say her father was King Agenor. One night, Europa had a dream - some say this was Zeus (Jupiter) already scheming, perhaps implementing in her mind a sort of mental aphrodisiac, for he had his eye on the fair maiden for some time already. (As was common in the Greco-Roman mythology, Zeus was always on the prowl for beautiful women, and indeed one of the finest Europa was). Upon awaking the next morning from her disturbing slumber, Europa gathered some of her friends and decided to have some fun picking wild flowers along the coast. Thus, Zeus had his golden opportunity - not only was the splendid Europa out in the open, she was along the seashore and surrounded by few people. Seeing this, the King of the Gods made himself in the image of a bull, shining with grace and a charming white body. A heard of cattle and oxen nearby, Europa thought nothing of the livestock until one stood out from the crowd, and shyly approached her. Knowing nothing of the real identity of the ox, she was eerily intrigued. It seemed as though this creature was kind and sensitive, and sought to be caressed and pet, so the voluptuous Europa felt inclined to approach such a wondrous animal. Indeed, even her company were drawn attention to the magnificent white bull. It’s beatuy was so grand, that when she neared close enough, Europa could still not resist. She garnered the bull with flowers, and reveled in the joy of it’s presence, and even decided to mount the creature upon gentle persuasion. Of course, this is exactly what Zeus wanted, but the sly god subtlety made his way to the shoreline, with his prize riding contently. A calm walk along the coast turned quickly into a dash into the sea, and soon the bull was speeding magically through the waves, as Europa discovered it was no ordinary ox. Sea monsters and gods and nymphs sprang out of the water as the bull seemed to soar as though through air. Europa was frightened, yet soon soothed, as the god revealed himself through a calm voice, and spoke of his love for her, which was so great that he went through all this trouble to be with her. And so he got what he wanted, as Europa would come to produce three sons for Zeus, Minos, Sarpedon, and Rhadymanthys. As gifts to Europa, Zeus named an entire continent in her honor, among other things.

And so, the modern contribution of Europe was made. But, obviously, there is much more than that. An innumerable pieces of art have been devoted to or inspired by the myth of Europa, as the theme of promiscuity, rape, and the will of the gods are common themes in all ancient culture. Many modern artists look to such classical images and art styles for ideas and come out with new and unique interpretations of the historical myth. Yet one of the more interesting aspects of the story of Europa is what became of the magnificent, gleaming image of the bull. This icon has a special place in astrology, and some even say it was Zeus himself which put the constellation of “the bull” in the sky.

the constellation “Taurus” ties into astrology, and has so for many hundreds of years. In fact, at one point, Taurus was considered to be the very first sign of the western zodiac. In connection to the modern world, it is remarkable at how the story of Europa carries into the personality of people who fall under the category of being a Taurus, or “taurean”. Traits associated with such people are considered earthly, as Taurus is a “fixed earth sign” in regards to the zodiac. Being possessive, jealous, and even sensual are all traits that can be seen within the myth of Europa, as Zeus himself, one could elaborate, was an original form of a Taurus personality. Other interesting correlations are the appearance of the bull as in the myth, in regards to the typical traits of a Taurean person in astrology - a gentle, often quiet side, yet an inherent beauty and magnetism. A Taurus is a person considered to be very stubborn, and one who dislikes sharing, and this certainly could be seen in Europa’s myth, as Zeus would have nothing less than her complete attention, and like wise, she became his possession.

It is interesting to consider how one story, one myth can generate such extrapolations. Even though the myth was about Zeus and the actions of the gods, and a creation myth which contained the explanation of Europe’s origin, there is perhaps something more within Europa’s tale. Perhaps within the story of a god was an image of mankind himself, and how man can be possessive and lustful in pursuit of things. A simple yet unavoidable aspect of human nature, it can also be looked at in different lights. One could also fathom that the desire for love is so strong in the human soul that man would cross the ocean for it, and fly through the air to have it. Or perhaps, the myth can be taken as an insight into the depth of human sexuality and the extraordinary force that can be seen in the desire to procreate or simple satisfy one’s appetite. It is no doubt that such speculations can were made by various artists over the years, and so too inspiration was gained. (Perhaps it is no coincidence that one aspect of being Taurean leads to an inclination into the arts).

Furthermore, it would be nothing less than fitting for Europa to be commemorated in by the content of Europe itself. Within the newly established European Union, the face of its coinage has been dedicated to Europa:



It is fitting, too, that the number two (2) is associate with this coin, for “Taurus” is now considered the second sign in the modern western zodiac. Furthermore, and ultimately so, it shows how Rome’s influence has transcended time once again, and something as small as a myth has been able to mean so many things to so many different people.

From Greece to Rome through out a seeming eternity of time, the myth of Europa has been associated with ancient culture, art, astrology. Even the modern day political organization of the European Union, inherits its name from the ancient myth, which indeed is a form of “going full circle”. It is in fact rather fitting that this be the topic for a final paper, something so seeming minute as a myth. But really, it just goes to show that the old expression is true, “all roads lead to Rome”. However, this is much more than the physical sense of roadways, but something much more. Rome was not just a city, and it is not just a city still. The word “Rome” is a symbol, a constellation in the sky of history, that represents past and present. Even when the present day was 10 A.D., “Rome” represented past and present, and future as well. Building on information from the Greeks, new ideas were formed, while old ones were preserved and remembered. And that is so much like today. So much can be encompassed in a few words about origin, just as a simple myth can explain the origin of a continent's name. Yet there is so much more to it that these words here. “Rome” is indeed a transcendental entity, a cultural benchmark and portal, even still in the modern day.

The reason for this study of the myth of Europa is far overshadowed by Rome itself, yet the link is so clear and undeniable that a mere myth can become much more than a story. The myth of Europa now transcends time as Rome does, because Europa is a story of origin and time itself. Europa is essentially a tip of an iceberg, or one of many millions of pathways that lead back to Rome. But when you find yourself in “Rome”, you find out that in fact you are standing at the crossroads of the world around you.

The one thing I will take away from this paper is seeing beyond the cliche of all roads leading to Rome. It’s fitting now, at the end of the year, that I understand this in the manner that I do, but so it is. Rome is not just a place to which many things connect, a place with all things can go or end up. Rome is, in fact, a place from which all things come. It represents a cycle of information and knowledge and cultural understanding, myths and philosophies, government and art. Not just taking credit for many things through history, but inspiring new things. Not just being an ancient city of ancient ideas and ancient people, but being an eternal city of ideas, thoughts, and conceptions. It is so much more than a “source”. Rome is an icon and a presence that exceeds time itself. It represents and connects to so much that it is, I find, very hard to describe it and conclude with a solid statement. But I suppose that is the way of Rome. I suppose that is why Roman and Latin phrases are still around today, too, because they just work. It seems so cliche to end a final paper with it, but I can’t really think of anything more accurate.

All roads lead to Rome


And the roads of Rome lead to all places Bibliography


“The Loves of Zeus” Medea’s Lair. May 5 2005. <http://www.geocities.com/medea19777/zeus.html>
“The Character of Your Sun Sign” Master Rao’s Astrology Center. May 10 2005 <http://asiaflash.com/rao/sun_sign.php?sign=2>
“Europa the Phoenician” May 2 2005 <princesshttp://phoenicia.org/europa.html>
“Europa” The Affairs of Zeus May 10 2005 <http://www.ecsel.psu.edu/~rreynold/ZeusText.html>
“Taurus the Bull“ Astrology.com May 10 2005 <http://www.astrologycom.com/taurus.html>
 
Modernism Term Paper (awesome)

MODERNISM H
TERM PAPER


Period II
Mrs. Carey
Modernism H


“Stoicism & Modernism”
(An essay on Transcendence and Proportion)
(and maybe even sociology)

Jesse Parent
c. November 2004 - March 2005
(“I-search”... perhaps) An introduction?


First, I should start off by saying that in this essay I will be taking some risks, and that I accept the outcome of those risks. Mrs. Carey has often persuaded us to be more outgoing in our grasps, or attempted grasps at modernism, and, while I am not sure this correlates with that, I’d like to think it does. From the first day we were in the library with this project, I sort of found out that it has essentially nothing to do with the “topic”, which, in my case, is stoicism, (and yes, I will get to that), but really, it’s about modernism. I don’t claim to know anything about modernism, nor to I really think I will prove something. That’s not really my goal here. Really, I am sort of using this as a medium for something else, and hopefully that “something else” won’t distort the true intention of this project, but then again, since modernism connects to many things, perhaps it will turn out to be more than I expect.

I don’t expect this first page to be considered in the required 8-10 pages, (that’s why it’s not double spaced), but if I run low on ideas, I just might fit it in somehow.

For me, modernism is related to stoicism in a few ways, and really, all it takes is a swift mind to relate a few things to each other- you can relate night to day, because they both involve the sun, or better yet, perspective. It’s night in some parts of the world, while it’s day in others. And you can go on and on about parts of the galaxy and universe and all that, if you like. In one way, though, similar to stoicism, modernism is essentially a “religion”, or perhaps, a lens with which things can be viewed through. I for one can’t tell if I am completely ignorant or right on, because for me, modernism, or that way of looking at things, is how I look at things all the time, and have done so for quite a few years. But really, I think that’s sort of the trick - and, as like the Zen theories on enlightenment (Fletcher & Scott), it’s not “learning something new”, it’s more discovering that you were enlightened all along. But I take a philosophical approach to many things, and once again that holds true for this course on modernism, and as far as this paper goes, be that approach right or wrong, I’ll accept the consequences. And really, if I didn’t that would sort of be incredibly hypocritical, seeing as how this is supposed to be a report on a philosophy called “stoicism”...

(Oh yes, and lastly, I say this all started in November, but really it was sooner than that. The bigger picture in the below essay is something that really started about two years ago, when some major changes took place, and since then, I’ve been on some sort of a quest, be it for understanding or justification I don’t know. But I can’t honestly say that I started this researching, or studying this topic the day it was handed out in class. It goes well beyond that. (transcendence).)


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Right or wrong, this is the way it is. Now, am I referring to this essay in regards to the above “introduction”? Or am I making a pun on stoicism? I’m not quite sure myself. I wonder if I will end up writing this essay in the language of modernism, really. But I don’t want to get your expectations up, so you shouldn’t think that. Stoicism, as a philosophy, originates essentially to way back in 300 B.C. Believe it or not, it started in Greece, and originated from many of the thinkers of that famous country, and it was designed as a “practical” and logical approach to understanding happiness and life. Modernism is, or should I say one “semantication”, one version, one definition, is a movement in literature that originated around the turn of the 19th century, as the world shifted into mass industry. It was brought about with the shift from the rural setting to the city setting, as industry changed lifestyles. Along with that change, a lot of “norms” were broken, and perhaps, in the gaps that appeared, new ideas could come through and reach the surface of thought, or maybe, as Freud might say, a higher level of consciousness. Because really, it isn’t fair to say that modernism simply happened- like in the introduction above, it was there all along, people just weren’t able to voice it, or didn’t know how. So in the pages below, I propose to draw a connection between this “modernism”, and this “stoicism”, that they are both essentially forms of philosophy, and they have more in common than one would think.

((But really, if I did that, I would spend a lot of time essentially trying to justify why I picked stoicism, and that’s sort of bland, really, because I feel that you can make connections between any two things, (thus my subtitle “transcendence and proportion”). Really, in-between all the formalities, I am going to greedily exploit the opportunity to voice my own thoughts about philosophy and sociology, and talk about something that’s not entirely traditional. Perhaps that might work to my advantage, since modernism isn’t that quite traditional, either...))

But I understand that I have to conform to some of the guidelines, citing sources and a logical flow of information- you know, the typical things English teachers are supposed to enforce. (And let me say, that if I fail to get those requirements done, it’s not Mrs. Carey’s fault, I’m just being entirely too greedy). Right, so now you’re going to learn some things about stoicism. Like above, it started back in Greece with a guy named Zeno, born in 333 B.C. (Standford; Molloy; Stoicism). Around 300 B.C., Zeno began his teachings and lectures on a new brand of philosophy. It’s name originated from it’s location- originally called “Philosophers of the porch”, Stoa is the Greek term for porch, or colonnade, the name is in a way a rather humorous extension of the logic and reasoning of stoicism itself (Molloy; Stanford; Stoicism). Stoa Poikile, or painted porch, describes the location in the Acropolis where Zeno and his teachings took place.

Stoicism originates from the Greek philosophers Aristotle and Plato, among others, and Zeno had been taking lessons from the cynic Crates, and even some knowledge through Heraclitus. Between 300 B.C. and the time of Augustus in Rome, there were many adaptations and transitions in Stoicism, which originated from a very harsh and inhuman practice (Stanford; Molloy). Yet thanks to the Roman Seneca, Stoicism was made more universal and appealing, as well as practical. Cicero, Cato and emperor Marcus Aurelius also deserve mention in a Stoic essay.

One interesting and subtle aspect of stoicism that is often overlooked is how it affected the Roman empire, and it did so in such a way that can be related to modernism. Prior to stoicism, Roman religion had no ethics at all involved in it (Ferguson). Essentially, as long as the gods were appeased with properly executed (no pun intended) sacrifices, you were in the clear. Most of it was basic augury, and sacrifices were made to the gods, each god representing a certain realm of jurisdiction - Neptune for the sea, Ceres for the fields, Hera, Jupiter and all the rest. (Ogilvie). What stoicism did, on a broad level, is prep the Roman Empire, (we are talking in terms of the first century AD), for Christianity. Stoicism has nothing to do with the birth of Christ (Parent), [[note: not to be read as “the birth of Christ Parent”; I’m not that greedy. (Semantics)]], don’t get me wrong, but it did help lay the foundation for the transition. The then “modern” road way systems and common language throughout the empire perhaps most evidently allowed for the actual spread of Christianity, yet it is reasonable to conclude that stoicism subtly prepared the minds and mindsets of the people. Now, how that connects to modernism...

You see, modernism is of a similar nature, in that it fits in a time period that deals with cultural changes. This is a connection of atmospheres surrounding the two subjects, modernism and stoicism, rather than the actual “stuff”, or content, in each item. However, it is relevant relationship nonetheless. Modernism, though it remains to be seen, hasn’t necessarily set the table for a new religion, per se, but it is a movement, much like stoicism was, (Parent; The Internet Encyclopedia...), in that both introduced to a society new ways of looking at things, new perspectives. For a whole lot of people, it opened their eyes and made them think in new ways, and whenever that happens, new ideas can sometimes slip through the gaps of the breaks in societal molds. So, in a rather unorthodox way of things, stoicism and modernism are quite nicely in congruence (Parent).

One other similarity between stoicism and modernism, in alignment with the ideas of philosophy and time periods is the aspect of improvement, or perhaps more so, evolution. Stoicism came about as a way to be the best, to live life in the way that was most virtues, and essentially, most rewarding (Seneca; Stanford). Stoicism, on one level, can be thought of as a tool that was used to chisel the figure of an ideal man out of a block of marble, and make that figure more clear. As far as modernism goes, it provided a critical lens to look through, a drastic, and, at the time of it’s “insurgence”, radical perspective and view, questioning society and the workings of the world itself, as the world itself went into transition (Parent). Modernism has allowed for things, even most simplest and seemingly commonplace, like fog and a boat; or artillery shells and cheese; life and death; intention and purpose; or jaundice- all into different perspectives. While modernism may not offer a concrete answer to these speculations, it allows for the individual to witness and think for themselves in a way in which they could determine if something was appeasing or not, or, say, if the liked a book, or movie or not. Modernism promotes questioning and understanding, both of which are integral to improvement. Stoicism itself promotes improvement and understanding, thus completing the connection.

Going with the notion of questioning things, modernism and stoicism are once again stunningly similar. Stoicism, at it’s highest level, promotes removal from everyday society, and the progression of individual thoughts and interpretations of justice (Molloy; Stanford; Encyclopedia...). Within it’s most revered positions, the Sage of stoicism is one who is completely virtuous in all his actions, as he is free from the everyday hustle and bustle of the common folk, of the unwise. In modernism, the same actions of those everyday folk are questioned, and looked at with interested eyes. The connection here is that both modernism and stoicism seek to look at society, to be observational. Both subjects are dealing with culture and people, relations to sociology.

On a more concrete level, there are inherent differences. And while the stated hypothesis of this “essay” was to promote similarities, I wonder if it is really out of place to have something ironic or, as it were, out of place or “un-traditional” in an essay for a modernism course. Well, I’m not really going to be the judge of that anyways, so let’s move on. The obvious conflict of stoicism and modernism is that, in stoicism, everything is about whether it’s right or wrong (Seneca; Stanford). Stoicism, especially in it’s early days, was an essentially mathematical approach to life, as to what is right and wrong; “Virtue is the ultimate good, Vice the ultimate evil” (Molloy; Seneca). Either you were doing something right or wrong. In modernism, there is seldom a definite yes or no, right or wrong, or sense of concrete-ness, (or, if there is a sense of right or wrong, in terms of this paper, I hope those terms are used very, very liberally...). With all it’s shifting forms of perspectives, questionings, and rather over the top versatility, modernism is not “easy” to define. In fact, it is an essential aspect of modernism that there are few restrictions placed on it, for, if it were to follow a concrete set of rules, it would be no less that the typical Victorian style stories of the past, and that would sort of defeat the purpose of modernism entirely. (Parent)

However, in terms of “eastern stoicism”, a loose term that I will associate with the likes of Zen Buddhism, there is more similarity with that aspect of modernism. Zen has a lot to do with the mindset of, perhaps, the modernistic reader. The reader must have an open and capable mind (Parent). But also, like mentioned previously, the reader must, and I repeat, must be able to allow for the mind to look at things in different ways. Unlike the harsh western stoicism of Greece and Rome, the likes of Zen relates to modernism in the flexibility of the mind (side note: it is rather ironic, considering this, that western stoicism paved that way for something, yet it is of concrete rules. [transcendence/proportion]). For instance, an episode in Chung’s “Shouts of Nothingness...”, a monk becomes enlightened in this way: he sits in a temple all day in meditation, waiting in silence for the master to reveal his wisdom, but when night comes, the master suggests that the monk goes back to the dormitory, and offers him a candle to see in the night. As soon as the candle is in the hands of the monk, the master extinguishes the flame, and thus the monk is enlightened. Now, to the average student of Zen, that seems pretty strange. This is similar to modernism, because as many students I have known have acted, when modernism is revealed to them, they do not understand it right away. And, just as the monk was alarmed at the act of the flame being extinguished, so to are many people alarmed when a story is read and afterwards they are told that it is a piece of literature that is modernism (Parent). Unfortunately, both reading a story and extinguishing a candle are not surefire ways of obtaining either enlightenment or the supreme knowledge or modernism, or stoicism for that matter, (Parent). However, this goes to show that there is yet another connection between a form of stoicism, and a form of modernism.

Philosophies are very tricky things, and though it was not addressed to me in this way, I do see modernism as a philosophy. But then again, that’s my own perspective, and I suppose that according to modernism, I’m not wrong... though that doesn’t mean I’m right, either. Nevertheless, the simple attribute of being called a philosophy fits well for both, I feel. Within modernism, there exists a list of, quote, philosophical questions, end-quote, and perhaps few things are more connectable than two things having a common word, (philosophy), in the context of their definitions. But more so, I see both stoicism and modernism as being ways to view the world, “perspectives”, if you will. To me, that ability to hold a perspective designates the foundation of a philosophy, and, just as one can live stoically, (Seneca; Standford; Molloy; wikipedia...), one can just as conceivable live “modernistically” (Parent). One can live to embrace the fundamentals of each philosophy - be it ethics and morals of stoicism, or the “radical” ways and observational fluctuations of modernism. Each of these “items” are considered “movements” in history, as well. But going back to “living modernistically”, I would like to address a perhaps core aspect of modernism itself, or perhaps, a core subtlety...

According to Parent, most people, and, perhaps this is why they don’t see it right away, already live “modernistically”. The elements of the modern day society, (emphasis on modern), are very much related to those of modernism- there is a general liberation from right and wrong, and wide variety of perspectives available, and many more “modernistic” characteristics in today's society. We are searching for answers, often with philosophical questions, and some people may turn to stoicism, some maybe to Christianity. We do question and strain, everyday, the limits of the human condition. With exception to recent infusions of “postmodern society”, we are quite in semblance with “modernism” (Parent). And, perhaps, going all the way back, this is connected with the realization of enlightenment - that is, it is not that you gain new knowledge, but that you simple reach a higher, awakened level of understanding of what you already know, of what is already around you (Parent).



In concluding this paper, I want to mention, or perhaps, refer back to my subtitles of transcendence and proportion. You see, while I attempted to maintain the original purpose of this assignment, much of the underlying drive comes from my own personal philosophical, and perhaps, metaphysical studies. Transcendence, in my own way, is an idea that essentially, everything is connected, and can therefore transcend, or be transcended through any thing. You can put modernism through stoicism, or stoicism through modernism, or Zen, or Christianity, or anything, jaundice, even. It’s sort of like the unification of everything, so, if you are familiar witch science, (I’m not), it’s like having one theory that explains all the actions of the universe. Transcendence, really, is like modernism, and everything else I’ve already mentioned, in that it isn’t something that needs to be found out or learned, but perceived. Proportion, or proportionality, is sort of my idea of the different levels of transcendence- micro/macro, the differences and similarities therein. Universe to galaxy, or area code to phone number, now that I think of it, it’s almost like the labels for a chart the ‘x’ and the ‘y’ axis. I suppose that transcendence would be the independent variable, like where time would usually be, on the bottom and horizontal, and proportion would be on the vertical. But that is, of course, going off on a tangent.

Modernism and stoicism are two philosophies, two movements, that both offer a way to view society. They are also indicators of time periods, and allow for the manipulator of each philosophy to look at things in ways which may not have been previously considered. Both are historical, and can be looked up either via books or internet, and perhaps most strongly and undeniably, ultimately true, both have been mentioned in this essay. While the finer points of that argument may be debatable, one cannot refute the fact that on several occasions I have use both the word ‘modernism’ and the word ‘stoicism’ in the same sentence. I like to finish off my essays for school with a common phrase, and it still applies here, though this isn’t Latin class, for stoicism undoubtedly lead through Rome, so, as they say, “all roads lead to Rome.”. In addition to that, I would like to make another connection, in that Rome is a city in Italy, which is a country referred to in Hemmingway’s A Farewell to Arms. Lastly, I would like to express my gratitude for anyone who reads this, because honestly, it was a great deal of fun to write, and I don’t write things like this enough. It was all a very good time, and, though my processing methods were... unconventional, and perhaps, not to be recommended or ever spoken of, I really have had a good time. Like I said, I don’t know the reaction this will receive, but, for my purposes, it has served me well, and tomorrow when I hand it in to Mrs. Carey, I will undoubtedly have a smile on my face. And, because I do like do go full circle, let me close by saying, in regards to my paper...

“Right or wrong, this is the way it is” Bibliography I
Burr, John R. and Goldinger, Milton. Philosophy and Contemporary Issues. The Macmillan Company, New York. 1972

Chung, Tsai C., “Zen Speaks: Shouts of Nothingness”, Anchor Books, Doubleday, London. 1994

Ferguson, John. The Religions of the Roman Empire. Cornell University Press, Ithica, New York,1970.

Fletcher, Tenshin & Scott, David. Way of Zen. Thomas Dunne Books, St. Martin’s Press, New York, 2001

Grant, Michael. Roman Myths. Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York, 1971.

Ogilvie, R.M. The Romans and Their Gods in the Age of Augustus. W W Norton and Company, Inc, New York. 1969

Parent, Jesse. Numerous written works and thoughts, internet posts, emails dialogues, musings, scribbles, observations, and lectures. New York. ?? - March, 2005

Seneca. Letters From a Stoic. Penguin Books, NY, 1988.
Bibliography II

“Stoicism” molloy.edu 2004. 15 Jan 2005 <http://www.molloy.edu/academic/philosophy/sophia/ancient_lit/happiness/stoicism1.htm>

“Stoicism on encyclopedia.com” Encyclopedia.com. 2003 Jan 10, 2005 <www.encyclopedia.com/html/S/Stoicism.asp>

“Stoicism” wikipedia.org 2004. Jan 10 2005 <http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism>

“Stoicism” Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. 2004. Jan 10, 2005
<plato.stanford.edu/entries/stoicism/>

“Stoicism” The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. 2004 Jan 15, 2005 <http://www.iep.utm.edu/s/stoicism.htm>
Works Cited I
Burr, John R. and Goldinger, Milton. Philosophy and Contemporary Issues. The Macmillan Company, New York. 1972

Chung, Tsai C., “Zen Speaks: Shouts of Nothingness”, Anchor Books, Doubleday, London. 1994

Ferguson, John. The Religions of the Roman Empire. Cornell University Press, Ithica, New York,1970.

Fletcher, Tenshin & Scott, David. Way of Zen. Thomas Dunne Books, St. Martin’s Press, New York, 2001

Ogilvie, R.M. The Romans and Their Gods in the Age of Augustus. W W Norton and Company, Inc, New York. 1969

Parent, Jesse. Numerous written works and thoughts, internet posts, emails dialogues, musings, scribbles, observations and lectures. New York. ?? - March, 2005

Seneca. Letters From a Stoic. Penguin Books, NY, 1988.

Works Cited II

“Stoicism” molloy.edu 2004. 15 Jan 2005 <http://www.molloy.edu/academic/philosophy/sophia/ancient_lit/happiness/stoicism1.htm>

“Stoicism on encyclopedia.com” Encyclopedia.com. 2003 Jan 10, 2005 <www.encyclopedia.com/html/S/Stoicism.asp>

“Stoicism” wikipedia.org 2004. Jan 10 2005 <http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism>

“Stoicism” Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. 2004. Jan 10, 2005
<plato.stanford.edu/entries/stoicism/>

“Stoicism” The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. 2004 Jan 15, 2005 <http://www.iep.utm.edu/s/stoicism.htm>
 
There is no right or wrong
Not universally, no
There is right or wrong individually, personally


We all have our own path
I am not sure yet... if anyone can truly learn, truly change themselves

for the better...via the influence of another


Maybe only if someone is very commited and willing to endure the pain of change


Downward spiral comes from becoming increasingly sensative and ... comfortable with the negative emotions.
 
In all my years of analyzing personlity, I still haven't found anyone like me. And for females, I haven't found anyone I am completely compatible with, either....




"Perhaps more than any other sign, Sheep are home-lovers and are tailor-made for marriage and family life. Next to love and security, they crave peace and harmony, consequently they will bend over backwards within their relationships to keep things running smoothly"

I want my sheep

and my marriage too..... but i know I have to wait
 
I"m sorry, I don't mean to writ ein my own thread.....

I am glad to see wizard back, and the others as well


but I am presed ffor time,and somehow have to say




love is such an amazing thing
I love her so much it is unberab;e, yet we are so far apart in many ways. But that doesn't take away from my love, becaue I feel it so strong and so powerful and so real, so undeniably real I don't care.....

It hurts so much

Because I care for her so much



I can't feel her hand




but it means so much to me
she means so much



so very much



she is the reasonlove songs make sense to me
she is thre reason why love songs make sense

she is why I write about love

her and no one else
no one else
no one else


and these words will scar me to deaht
but I can't avoid that
I can't deny
the past
wht ha happed
what is fact

evern from just oen perpective

it is real
and I feel it
I feel it so damn stronlgy.......


ah......


I'm so tired

but my will is so strong
so focused.......

I shoud let myself rest



thoughI cannto rest well





a love that is so pure

yet a love that may never be,,,,,,,,>?
 
all the phantom of the opera songs are racing throug my head........

-----------


aside from that:



"I love you, forever"

Our love has been so strong
so undebiable and real
no matter what you cannot pass by
what you see and what you feel

I may never know your touch
I may not feel your face
Even should we drift apart
Loving you is no disgrace

Loving you is no disgrace...

I realize now I love you
now, and forever
no matter what happens
between our souls
part of us will be together

I can't let go
I can't avoid
I can't release
I can't destroy

what is true
what is real

my love for you......



Fantasy
it may be
From time to time
I wonder

(But even so
I hope you know
just how much
I love her....)


I'm not to proud
to admit myself
to loving another
but I am not ashamed...

I am not ashamed.....

Because me love is real
And for you I would do anything.....


Even should it grow cold
and fde fromthe front of my mind
my love for you is never ending
I cannot leave you behind

But I do'nt car
I do not mind
Carrying the pain
of love in my mind



because I love you
and I love you, forever


You are my first
The only one thus far
to have made me love
and I can never, ever forget that

or thank you enough
for making me feel like I might not be alone.....


If I can't marry you.....
then please let me stay in touch, becuase i want to be close
at least in some way
I love you so much....


So much..... and evern if you never knnow....
it's okay..... I suppose...

It is my choice to love
I accept reponsibllllty....


bt even if I can't have you next to me
I love you, I love you, I love you.....




I love you, forever
 
reply

For Honor.....very good.....if I can only believe in Love it might make more sense to me. I just can't feel love anymore for I have been stepped on lately. The only love I see in this world is the love of money and trying to be better than someone else. Wish I felt different.

carol
wizard2c
:|
 
Thankyou

But that is just passion without form, not even trying, just..... IOt's so hard when you can't tell someone face to face,,,,


so here was my venting ground.... as it is most of the time.....
 
BONO'ppetit said:
I believe they can become reality. And often do. But it's a matter of conjecture, isn't it? I also often see color in my dreams, whereas, it's often said that dreams are mainly in black and white.


This quote has inspired my little song here:




(conjecture) "fancy word, and I don't know what it means


Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
What I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna look it up

Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
What I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna look it up

Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
What I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna look it up

Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means
Fancy word, don't know what it means

What I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna look it up...


m-w.com

:)
 
Last edited:
I want to make love to her, forever


Not sex
Not caress
Not touch
Not please

It's not that for me
Not with her
Not with anyone else, but not with her....

I just want to love her
Make love
Love her in all the ways
Always...

I want to make her mine
My own
Forever
And ever
I want her

So much
Just her

"ANd your the one there's no one else
That makes me want to loose myself
In the mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman"


Bono's lyrics have inspired significance.... at least
I hope this is significant


She is my definition of love
Brought it into my world
Taught me to love
I don't want another teacher

Just one
My one and only
That is waht I want her to be
My one and only
Forever

Till death do us part
Not even then
I still want to be with her





......and it's so easy to get carried away
Talkig about it
Granduer

But I would strive for an ideal love, to make it as best as possible
I think that is just a character trait
for me
my personality.....


And I think she is one of the few
Who would really understand waht I mean

when I say I want to love her
make love to her
Forever


sex isn't sex
it is spiritual
it is emotional and meaningful
becaues it's her
and me
or at least, it would be

though we are both virgins

But we know
we know
we know....


And I wish
I could marry her
and we'd both be pure
Util our wedding night
and then I would make love to her
Like she was the only woman on earth
because she would be
because I can only love one woman on earth
and my life centers around her
making her happy
keeping her happy
for me
for her
for me

I think I've found someone who might be that for me......
I hope time says I'm right


But if I'm wrong, I'll still love her in my own way
She set my heart on fire, alive....
no one else
She kept me alive

when no one else could

I owe her so much
Iwish I could spend my life making it up to her
Making love to her...

If only she would let me
would she let me
would she let me.......


Would she let me be with her always?
Let me work for our relationship
Find ways tosurvive to maintain
Our love
keep it going forever
Because I know it will always be inside me
no matter wahat


I just wish I could marry her
and getit over witha
and have her be mine
forever
spend our days
doing everything together

love her to death
and beyond

I need to give it to someone
yet...

she returns it with such force
and that lets me know
that I'm doing something right


I'm doing somehting right if she
wants to give back the love I show
maybe.....

I just wish I could find out
I could say we are mean tto be
to be together
forever

I wish it was a story, and it waas a definite
Just her
I don't care what happens to anyone else in the world

Just her

She is the only person that matters
Not even myself


As long as she has waht she needs
and is alright
Iwiill be fine

even if it should not be me, I want her happy

and that is how I know
I really love her.



Because it doesn't matter what happens
I can't take my heart back
It already belongs to her
I can control how much she has
But I can't take it back

That isnt how I love


I don't love much
But my love lasts forever



Because I say so
I make it that way

That is my choice
my free will

who to love..... yes


but how long to love





but it seems like I dont' have a choice with her :)
She is someone I love

so much

more than anyone else in the world.....

it's true....



Yet my situation is.... legendary?


The fantasy......
I'mher authentic stanger, floating in the moonlight to dance with her
She is my goddes of absolute love. Smart, caring, loving, home-loving, marriage-loving, loving,loving,loving... tender.... and oh so tender......


I just wish
we were meant to be
I wish I could know


because I love her so...
 
understanding


I seek to love her, someone, so completely, because I seek harmony. Discord is not appealing to me. So to be in love so throurouhgly, throuhg the dramatic trials, even, is ideal beauty, ideal harmony

to make love is a form of harmony...

but to have a lasting love is


a dream?
an ideal.....

I can only hope

something within my reach
atleast

....someday......
 
There is everything else
and then there is love

I can see the world, understand
expand, perceive....

But love is defiance
it is the difference
It keeps me from being detached

It holds power over me, and
I worship it...
secretly
secretly...

but I am faithful
pious
devout
religious

in that love
is the greatest thing



I hope one day
they will say of me

"He did many things in the name of love"
but especaiily, I would like them to say
"He did many things in the name of love, and I never saw two people more in love with each other. They are so lucky to be together..."




I just want everyone to find the right kind of love for them
I believe I need the everlasting kind....
I crave it...

it may not be so for others...

BUt.....
For me,
I want the dream

I want her
I want her in my dream
together with me.,.....



But I will live in reality


(.....I suppose)

I suppose I have to
 
I think I want too much



I think I wan ttoo much
from everyone....
well
maybe just from her

I .... am I impatient?
I might be
But I want her so much
I don't want to have sex with her

I want to love her
face to face
hug her
be with her

But
It is impossible
or is it?

"Be brave enough to live creatively"
I'm brave
I'm brave alright
I'm full of ambition

But I still
am just sitting here infront
of a computuer screen....

thinking about her
wondering
if she is thinking of me
where she is
what she is doing
if it will all be

if one day
it will be
as I hope
and hopefully
as we hope
but I can't.....
.....

I can't be certain
and I can't make others minds


I will love her no matter what
I do
and I've said it

But
I feel.........





I feel so helpless.
 
Helplessly....

Helplessly in love, yes, perhaps
Helpless to control my destiney
Very much so

I can't even decide
.........

If I did decide to meet her
what would we be able to do anyways?


Can love last though years and time apart?
are we mean tto be together?
Can I actually hold her forever, yet just not right now?

If I knew I would be able to
this would all be so easy
I would wait until the world came down on me
and I would hold it there, or throw it back up
and tell it to wait for me
until I was ready

But
I don't know what will become of us
The uncertainty
I am
"The fool"
and the "Knight of Wands"

uncertainty and ambition
uncertainty and ambition

yet I can't seem to move


I will question relentlessly
until I know what is what
but I might not be able to know
for a long time
no matter how hard I try

and I guess
I justhave trouble with that

Understanding that I won't know
Understanding that I won't know

and maybe
that I can't know...
 
Being Told
"I love you"


NOthing like it in the world
I can't describe it
I won't even try
I won't even try....

I wish I could be closer when she says it to me
I wish I could be holding her as I reply

I wish among all the stars in the sky...
(I wish for the dream of you and I)
 
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She can't see why I praise her?


What?
I don't think she understands
That with my love
comes unconditional love
respect
care
kindness

(or at least I try for those things)

But how can she not see
that she means the world to me?
 
Never more loved

(one step closer to knowing/overkill - men at work) are through my head, among other songs)


Never more loved




Never more loved
Has there a lady been
So deeply and completely
In everyway I am

Every moment apart
Is a dagger in my heart
and it bleeds endlessly
as I wait for your caress

I can't be close for a moment
For a second or a day
It wouln'd be enough for me
I need you all the way

I ask so much
because I need so much
more than anyone can give, perhaps
I need more than exists

I need love so much
I would give it forever
I need you so much
I would wait forever

To hold you again,
To hold you for the first time
To hold you forever
To hold you for a lifetime

Never has a woman
Been so desired
In every way
All my thoughts inspired

Yet I can't bear
To keep my eyes open
I look too much for you
Though I know you are far


But I keep looking
Keep waiting
Because my love is so strong for you
Because my love isn't fading

I would wait forever
and I just might
If you promise for to see me
If you promise me the night

So that i could hold you
And spend the whole night through
Because you alone are what Iwant
And all I want is you

You inspire me to write these words
And think of love and glory
You make me believe in the grandest things
And I add that to our story

I want our love, the fantasy
To last for us a lifetime
I need it to be you and me
I for you to be all mine

I want you to be my first and last
For my first I know you are
You are my first real love
No matter how far you are

Night and day you are the one
That fills me every waking thought
Night and day it is you I want
In the wraps of love I'm caught

Willingly, too willingly
I am here for you
Waiting and desiring
Needing only you

I need your love to set me free
To allow me to soar
I need your love to be with me
I need you forever more

This petty words are nothing
Compared to my burning heart
For you I melt and rage again
From you I cannot be apart

Never more loved has someone been
To this I swear to all
I challenge them and shout to them
For to you I give my all


Every bit of my soul is yours
You can take it as you please
If I knew it would make you mine
I would get down on my knees

I'd ask you to take my hand
And my whole life, too
Because I can't help
Being in love with you

I would happily agree
To a life ever after
I would easily be pleased
With you being in every chapter

For I can't seem to say it right
I can't state it well enough
To all the world there ever was:
"Never was a woman more loved"





-----------------

ugly rhyming but I don't care....
:|
 
PRIDE




My uncompromising personality....
I was reminded by a friends post, orignially challenging me. Tempting me..... but.... throuhg that.... I...... found strength... my Pride was there.... it kicked in, and made me remember who iwas.....


Is love real?

I don't know.
I know I have felt it, or at least what I think it is.


But is it capable of lasting through tremendous odds?
Is it capable of two people really loving each other completely together in unity?

I don't know
I've never really seen it.

all the couples I know break up, or are thinking about it, or hate each other.


So even if you miss somoene, is that just pain?
What difference does it make.


You are ether in love or not
Together or not

It isn't a momentary choice, it is a lasting choice.


For me that;s how it is anyway. I can't Bullshit love for someone, and love someone a lot now and maybe a little bit later on. I think that is total absurdity.


I think, because for me, I can only love completely one person. Not multiple people all the time. I can't do that. I need to love one person, and I demand that in return

I've got too much pride to be second fiddle, ever.
It would take a lot for me to stoop to that.
And certainly being lonely won't ever.

Being by yourself is no reason to lower your standards.


And my standards are high.
If I am always unhappyl, so be it. Happiness is only a state of mind.
But I know that there are other people who feel like I do.
Even if not, it doesn't matter. I will never compromise my standards or values, not in a situation where it is best to keep them strong


I'd be lieing if I lowered my standards. I would be saying :this makes me happy" when really it didn't. Only a few things make me happy, and they are very important to me. They are worth all the "suffering" in the world...


Heh...

Thanks, junior0mint...


You've reminded me




why my personality is uncompromising.......
why I am who I am


I owe you one.
 
I don;t love because I need to...
I love because it is my choice
I forget... I get humble and forget
That it is a privledge to be loved by me

Because when I say it, I am sincere
To the very core of my bones, my soul, my heart
My being

So pure and honest is my love
That it lasts forever.
That is because


That is how love is suppose to be

THat is how I see fit
That is my choice
And that is my way

That is my pride
My pride and joy

That is why I love PRIDE
and why it is my favorite song, ever.
Because it reminds me
Of who I am
WHen I forget

And why my ideals are to be sought
When I loose sight of them


This is why my love lasts forever....
Because I make it last forever
Because I refuse
To compromise


Free will - the choice of love
And my mind is set
Set in stone perhaps


When I say I love you
You stay loved
Whether you like it or not
It is not even your choice
It is mine and mine alone.......
 
When I say I love you


When I say I love you
You stay loved

Even if you don't understand what I mean
How I mean, what I mean, what it means to me
It doesn't matter, because this is my world
And you are in it

I don't love just anyone
Or anything this way
The love I speak is one of a kind
Because I am the only one who can give it

For when I love you
You stay loved
And there is no question from me.

Look up my name
Look up my signs
Look up my traits

They all concur

They all agree

It is no secret that I refuse to compromise
That I dominate what is around me
Because I am real and I am sincere
And when in love, love surrounds me

Love is a force, a state of life
And I take more serious than life itself
Because when I love you
You stay loved

And I will love no one else

Just you, my love
My one and only
You will be my first and last
And no other lover will exist

Only you
Just you
Only you
Just you

Because when I love
I love forever
And when I love you
You stay loved

And You will feel it forever.



-------------------

(this morning, early, actually....) , June 17, 2005...
I realize this truth about me....

I am proud :)
 
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I'm ready


I'm ready....
We can go when you want
I'm here

Our adventure...
It's about to begin
I'm ready...

It's inside of me
Waiting for the quest
I don't know what it is...but
I know it's coming...

Ilusions of grandeur
But... they become fact
Reality...

I'm ready
I'm sharpening my blade
Anticipating and looming

My mind aches
But it is a good ache, for
I will embrace our adventure fully

It will be so good to be with you..
...On this journey of ours
I'm ready


The sights and sounds
The harships and glories
I'm ready for them, I'm not afraid

It's not reaching the destination
It's the experiences along the way
That is what it is all about


.........I'm ready
No matter what the asnwer
or what the outcome

I'm ready
 
I'll be the knight, I'll be the hero
I'll be the one to endure it
Just give me that goal...

Just give me that thing which I can ever strive for.....


And I will never, ever relent....






tbc
 
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I realize now that I am one; a threefold terror


I am forever
Stability eternal, peace
Unchanging changes - inertia
Time and procreation
Insight, look within
Driving force of mother earth; sex
through the senses Plow
Seeding the land, building
'I possess'
(soul)

In the air I see
I imitate. I simulate my dream, wandering
Always my mind wonders, question
Questions and uncertainty, seeking
Cooperation, Duality
That is happy, sad
Right, wrong
'I think'
(head)

Roaring from inside out
Lionhearted
Grand and splendor
Passion, loyalty and respect
Braving A Lionheart fire
To learn the true meaning of Love
'I will'
(heart)

....bravely being a threefold terror....

"Be brave enough to live creatively"

TaGeLi - 2,3,5
 
'The mother of god' and 'Drowning man' are merely random starting points in this quest...

It could have been any song, perhaps not even a love song. These two, perhaps for convience, or perhaps for sentimental closeness to the front of my mind, were selected.



Love may be only as complicated as you make it, but to me, it is very complicated, and I didn't want to impose a "starting point" on anyone. There is no starting point, really. It is more like ....


It really is like I'm listening to a group of people conversing.....


I can hear two people's voices... and I cannot see or hear, and I cannot join them. Not yet. Perhaps.... perhaps I am hiding....? I don't know....

But I can hear voices, and I don't know what they really mean, I'm just hearin the words and not understanding completely. But the people are talking about love, I know that for sure. And I know that I have joined the conversation, listening to it, in the midst of great explanations and revelations. Yet there is so much information, and I have so little knowledge myself, my brain is working hard to retain the facts and opinions stated by those who are conversing.

I'm hiding, listening to their conversation. I will be able to join it, once I learn enough about love. The more I listen, slowly, the more voices start talking, though only one at a time. The differnt perspectives are drawing more and more closer to the truth, of that I am sure. But I know... I know that at this moment, I know very little. I'm listening, patiently, and learning. This will take time, yet I know the reward is worhtwhile.



Though theoretical, and though metaphorical, that is exactly how I feel. I've just started, yet I know the quest is not my own, not soley my own. I know we are in many ways in this together, and we will each come across our own individual answers in our own way. So please, I am not trying to impose my views of love on anyone. But I am trying to learn my way. I would like for all people who come across this thread, or anyone I meet, to perhaps find get one step closer to finding their own answer to my initially listed goal, my quest.


this is not the starting point, but I... I should at least begin somewhere
 
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