FH's thread - I'll write more over time

[For Honor]

i can't seem to get the movie to work at the moment

 

[For Honor]

Ride those tides again...

 

[For Honor]

Tranqulity, for the moment, at the top; zero velocity at the apex.



Momentum returns to zero again, my friends
my friends? eh, that's not the point
The point is...
There's not point so don't even worry about that, reader.

Let me just talk to you, or at you for a moment about what I'm "feeling" (at the moment)
Content.
I don't really need anything

I mean, even if I had to let go of my laptop, which would be unpleasant,
I'd just move on, and find some other way to get back t o this point
This placidty that I feel

I wonder, I am wondering, if this is a good thing
Heh, good or bad, simple terms, I k now I know...
But yeah, it's so.... strange.
I see the people, and I see them get uphappy, or strive for something
Yet..... it's so..... strange

I feel unhuman to a certain extent, but
(I kinda like it, to tell the truth. I don't have to play all those silly games, heh)
Apperantly I'm destined for an easy life....

As only a hare would/could have it.
I do not see many needs for anything at all.
Maybe just efficiency, or understanding
Maybe I could find a passion there, in helping people undersand each other........?

( )

ANd there is love, something I have looked greatly into, and felt greatly of.
I am thankful for the love others have shown me.
But when I think about loving another......
I'm too easy, I think.

I'd just say, or I'd just want to "I love you"
And boom, that's it. That's all. For me, it would be that simple.
I would like to live my life alongside another, maybe it would be....
More challenging to try to keep that person happy, and help them reach their goals?

What are my goals?
Heh, I don't really know.
Maybe I should get some?
I don't really know

What's the point?
It doesn't honeslty, really matter if they are acheived or not.
Sure it would impact my immediate state of being, I'd be more happy if they were achieved, and less happy if they weren't
But........



Everything is that way


Maybe I shouldn't be so concerned about this, and just enjoy this placidity.
But that really isn't typical of me, either - I look for efficiency, to improve.
That dastardly, bastardly INTJ trait of mine



ANyhow.......
So............

The only thing I can think of is if I throw myself into life somehow. Love is a good way to do that - that would be challenging, I'm sure. Or like, some carerr goal, but that's not too important to me, either.
Maybe something with education, or understanding, as I mentioned before. Maybe maybe maybe....






Can I help anyone here?

Is there anything I can do for someone who reads this?

just a question, or thought.
I don't really know if I'd be able to do anything, regardless, heh heh heh.



I guess I should use this time to finsish up some old projects - like getting my licence, and finishing 'my journey'. Rake the leaves, those should be done. And do the dishes.

But then what?

Tomorrow evening, I'll probably be in this same state again, unless life rushes in and throws me out of balance for a bit, again, but that's not all that unexpected (by me), is it?

.............



And I realized that I've removed my self so far out of the common human existance (not being arrogant, but just trying to picture things), that I probably don't even relate well enough to other people. I mean, I understand them, and try to, but so much of things really are indifferent to me. What upsets me? What do I really find disturbing?

On one hand, I'd really like to push for global unity, togetherness, improving mankind as a whole, and making our existance more purposeful, educated, and functional.

But on the other....... I understand that the way of most of mankind is to be cuahgt up in some turmoil, and I don't really know if it is for the best to have what I described above come through to existance.

ANd I also realize that such a thing to strive for, well, that too is merely a manifestation of who I am, a typical rabbit thing to ask strive for - peace and tranquility, efficiency, etc etc etc. understanigng, etc....

Is that ideal, is that evolved, is that neccesary, even?
I don't know.
Everyone of us, every human, has their own definition, their own scope, their own view.


So should I even bother with explaining my own?
I don't know.



It feels, almost, like I am looking around, waiting for osmeone or something to show me "what am I supposed to do?"

I don't have any major internal desires at the moment, so maybe the Buddha would be happy about that. Yet I haven't fond a religion that intrigues me enough, or that I agree with enough, to use as a guidline.


I guess I'll just go to sleep, and wake up tomorrow to see what life throws at me, and figure out the best way to deal with it.

(hmm.... receptive approach)

Or I wonder...... should I .......
attack the world tomorrow, and proactively seek.........

..........seek what?



I wonder...... what would I, Jesse, "FH", HWI, etc etc, what would I be motivated by? What would really get me going?

Love? Possibly..... possibly.
Interacting with other humans on some level, I'm sure that would be something interesting.

After all, it's not that hard to feel content alone, I guess.
............. I don't really know.


See, I really just want to ask, hey, does anyone need anything? Is there some adventure I can go on or something?

But at the same time, I've got way too much pride to take a back seat, or be a pawn in someones big chess game. Hahahahaha...

Aren't I full of contradictions?


confusing, but, clear to me, mostly.


I feel so deep when I write this
But at the same time, it's all so shallow, since there is...... little backing up all these words




but I guess it's rather insignificant anyways. I mean, how many people are going to read this? 7?

and I'm sure I won't look back on it too many times, heh.


Tht's how it goes.


So I've just spend, with this and my FYM philosophy post, about an hour, maybe, venting about nothing. I wonder why. Did I....... hope to find some sort of answer in thsi? I don't know. Did I hope to connect with someone on this? not really.

I guess it was just a...... a slightly proactive, aggresive, outward thrust into life, a subtle pebble in the pond, or ocean.




watch those ripples...........
watch the motion............





"returning".................



that;s all for now,
FH

 

[For Honor]

maybe I should go after that Libra Goat.

Libra, to offset me, and seek a challenging level of understanding
Goat, my compatible love affair; "if there's any woman capable of unthawing a cat, it's the goat woman"


unthaw me?
Make me loose my head with desire?

I guess that would be quite something, it has happened before.



Eh, but if I were to go on an adventure, I'd want to do with someone, so I'd want to spend a lot of time together - a real team. Partners, you know. non of this petty game crap.


*yawn* I guess I should get some rest.
I'm not really tired, just my body knows I should.

But yeah, I everyone should know, I am more interested in the deeper side of things. so I guess I'd be a picky SOB, hahahaha.


'as only a rabbit could be'
'as only a rabbit could be'

 

[lady luck]

You made me think about Joyce's "stream of consciousess"... a series of thought coming out from your mind, put on a blank sheet and you're the only knowing what you're really talking about.

Since I love James Joyce, it was interesting to read you doing something in his technique...

*****

About pride... I'll use the words of a genius:


If you see me walking down the street
And I start to cry, each time we meet
Walk on by, walk on by
Make believe that you don't see the tears
Yes let me grieve in private'
Cos each time I see you I break down and cry
Walk on by, walk on by, just walk on by
'coz I just can't get over losing you
And if I seem broken and blue

Walk on by (just walk on by), walk on by (just walk on by)
Foolish pride, that's all I have left
So let me hide the tears and the sadness
that you gave me when you said goodbye

Oh walk on by, walk on by, just walk on by, just walk on by
walk on by, walk on byfoolish pride that's all I have left
So let me hide this tears and all the sadness
that you gave me when you said goodbye

Just walk on by, just walk on bythat you really wanna go so walk on by
said you really wanna go so walk on by

Baby leave me never see the tears I cry
Baby leave me never see the tears I cry

 

[Bonochick]

More than 500 replies, so I have to close this one.