Faith

[jessi-ma-ca]

this is just how im feeling at the moment...

I?ve lost my faith
Not only in the world,
But in myself?

And their fate is on
My shoulders,
They depend on me

They rely on all
The strength I don?t have
The things I don?t know

Yet still they have faith
So little do they know?.
That I am not capable

I?ve been hurt too much
And can no longer
Trust my faith in people

I no longer see the
Colour in the world,
All the rainbow their to see

I can?t find what
I want, I can?t see
Want I need

I'm a stranger, lost
Struggling not to
Drown in the sea

I can?t remember how to
Swim, I can?t remember
How to save myself

 

[TheWho4Life]

Why do you feel like this right now?

 

[jessi-ma-ca]

i just feel like that at the moment cause i feel lost... i love my course but sometimes i hate where i am... i want to go back home... i feel like i need to chose between what i want- to go back home and my dream- being a lawyer, and finishing my course.

im stuck between two worlds, my one at uni and my one at home. i just cant understand why its so hard for me to follow my dream. it was so hard to move away form home to begin with, and i just keep having problems up here at uni... there are fights within my group of friends, were not all getting on at the moment. and throught it all i just think how much i want to see my best friend and my family..

i think it makes it worse cause everyone is always asking me what i want to do with my law degree, and what sort of a lawyer will i be, and what electives will i do... ifeel swamped, like im incapable of making a choice, my dad wants me to do this, and i want to do that... ect...

i just feel like im not ready, i dont have the strength i need...

well, theres a little essay of a reply for you...

 

[TheWho4Life]

.......... I'm sorry! You must be smart if your in law school though lol. Don't you ever visit your home???? Dont do what your dad wants you to do, do what you want to do.

 

[jessi-ma-ca]

law school----mmmmm
i go home every holidays, so 4 times a year... i think it works out that im at uni only just longer than im at home... but thats becasue of the 3 month summer/christmas holidays... so it doesnt really count...

i wont do what my dad wants just becaseus he wnats me too, but its hard, when he wants and expects me to do certain things and follow a certain path

 

[LoveTown]

I know this sounds like a giant cliche but things look the darkest right before the dawn. Hang in there!

 

[Cute Irish Bono]

Great poem, Jessica, but hang in there!

 

[Cute Irish Bono]

I do understand.