Deity

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hermes

Acrobat
Joined
Sep 11, 2000
Messages
360
Location
a blank page
Deity

Smell of something
Burning and stale
Click tracks in my head
Of beats lost in syncopation
A certain wobble to my walk
As the street conforms to whatever I need
Neon for all it's beauty is nothing more than gas
I want nothing more than this sometimes
To loose myself on the streets
Remembering I am nothing
and could end any time
A cracked alley to duck into
And have a look around
inside the cobwebs and trash
There is really nothing
Just me and my cigarette
A shirt and some jeans three days worn each
A new pair of underwear today
The unstrung cotton of dying spiders
Wraps itself around me
Shaking it off to go further
Into this bricked cavern
Shadows flutter and nothing more
Footsteps and breathing
And I can't see the street anymore
even though I should
But little consideration is given the asphalt
For the wood grain barrier ahead
Requires a bit of shoving
Against it and it splinters easy
A few in my arm
but trudging forward is what I do
because it's all I have left
I can't even see the alley now
Inside the cold and shiny cobalt surface
Ducking
Then forced to my knees
I move on
I can hear the voice now
Like trickles of fluoridated water in a sink
Tickling my ears and annoying them
Just off kilter enough to keep me from blocking it out
and now I see new light
A red sapphire thing
Far off in the distance
And I know it is the voice
the ghost
the god
behind me isn't even an issue anymore because there is nothing but a blank
And it sweeps the surroundings
Till there is nothing but bleached white space
And us
With the blank
is a sickening warmness
Like a bed slept in too long
not that I know what that is like anymore
The alley is nothing now
Just an endless speck in an endless see of bone china blood
Standing on nothing
This time physically as well as mentally
I reach out
The sapphire form of god
Deity ghost
Comes closer
And no impression can be made
A formless beauty
A haze of brilliance
He is full in majesty
And I'm nothing standing in nothing
Alone with eternity
I want to
A million things fly in and out of my brain
Till the slot machine in my mind picks two or three
I cry
Scream
beg
Questions of pain and sorrow
Of hate and rage
In the face of love
Or at least the form of beauty
I begin to realize
The may not be the same
I cuddle back
The sapphire god
ghost deity
Closer to me know
I just want retreat
but I need answers
Why ?
so much pain
and fear
and hurt in my life
why have I been turned in to this wretch?
Why have I been abandoned?
Till now
Where your radiance
Can only highlight my own horridness
You insist on leading me here
To hate you?
Or adore you?
Either way I feel the venom in my veins
gurgling throughout my circulatory system
nothing is dead
you can not heal my soul
Just by being here
The sapphire god
ghost deity
leaves
and it is I
in bleach white darkness
alone and floating
 
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