An Attempt at Poetry

[mug222]

Shrieks abound
down the dark and dank track
fluorescent light casts a grey pall
you convince yourself there's no looking back
so you don't.

Out of the tunnel now
lurch into the sunlight
The muddy ground is not covered with snow
Desolate sight, you wish it was night,
But it's not.

A ploy, a ruse, a swindle, a scam
You've been tricked- so young and so fresh
Pull open the door and jump out of the train
But the wind devours your flesh

 

[mug222]

Not really sure where this came from, just a quick try at some of the beautiful poetry you guys have been making here. My first try, so please bear with me

One note- After I wrote this I read some more poems and I saw that Wanderer had written "devour your flesh" in a poem a few days ago- Sorry, I hadn't seen this, not trying to copy you! But you know what they say-Imitation is the best form of flattery

[This message has been edited by mug222 (edited 10-31-2000).]

 

[The Wanderer]

You've been tricked- so young and so fresh
Pull open the door and jump out of the train
But the wind devours your flesh

so I'm not the only one? well said mug222... my only question: what is the title of this poem? not that it matters that much, either way it's still a fabulous poem

p.s. don't worry about the "devours your flesh" thing, it was unintentional... anyway, I've probably written a few lines myself that have been thought and said elsewhere...