A Place

[Mullen4Prez]

A Place

Maybe its going to be different,
Maybe go to a different place
A place where freedom rains
And the insane and kept inside the chambers.

Lift me up to the place
The place where the freedom is
Where black people are treated equally
And everyone is happy

Happy, as a baby in a nappy
Go to the place,
Release yourself
From your disease
You are nothing but a virus
That spreads like the human race.

You running at full pace now
But can you really get there now
Go, Go, Go
Faster, Faster, Push yourself,
Act like your in a rush

Put your trust in me,
Come to my hut and I’ll earn you
They always win,
And when you lose
Don’t say you had no choice

Because you run and win this race
Now GO, GO, GO.
They depend on you
They need you to feed them
Look after them,
Cook for them,

They are coming
Why are you still listening to me
You and you Alone can stop them
Turn the lights off and
Hit them with your right.

I am nothing anymore,
Just some washed up crack whore ,
Leave me be
Or else you’ll see it.

 

[ZeroDude]

Full of great ideas that don't flow together, If you manage to put your ideas together with a better flow you'd be writing some great stuff, one problem though "Happy as a baby in a nappy" is something I wouldn't excuse Bono from p.s. trying being more down to Earth like Morrissey or more abstract like Bono or Michael Stipe in practice pieces, I don't want to over formulate songwriting because that would be a contradiction in my mind...
But I believe you can do it man

 

[Mullen4Prez]

Thanks, Yea I have a habit of rhyming just for the cause of rhyming it. Next song will be better I hope

 

[ZeroDude]

Well good luck and I'll hopefully see it

 

[~BrightestStar~]

A Place
Happy, as a baby in a nappy
Go to the place,
Release yourself
From your disease
You are nothing but a virus
That spreads like the human race.

I would never put anything I've written on public display, you're braver than me.

I like the last part ( from ur disease,...)...dunno why

And please take no offense, but that happy, as a baby in nappy line kinda makes me giggle

 

[Mullen4Prez]

Yea I know that part sucks happy as a nappy what was I thinking

 

[~BrightestStar~]

I feel so bad for laughing at it!
(but it's too amusing to not laugh at it!)

 

[Mullen4Prez]

Its ok laugh away