"A Naked Kiss"

[The Wanderer]

ok, this is a poem i wrote a while back for someone, inspired by a wonderful and lovely evening , but the poem didn't go over as well as i had hoped . . . ugh, maybe it simply sucks? but, then she never really liked poetry anyway so i reserve hope . . . be honest in telling me if this is crap and sap, the tone is a bit inconsistent because I changed the nature of the poem as it progressed, but anyway . . . just read please

"A Naked Kiss"

Topless she should be
naked in front of me
bottomless may she stay
so her perfectness might sway

Then may I kiss you -- sweetly
like the honey replenishing the bee
and continuously, like the waves
where the beach meets the sea?

Will you then kiss me -- delicately
like the droplets of rain in a sunshower,
their tender nourishing wetness,
each splash drenching your tiny petals
until we are soaked in the sun's redness?

And shall we kiss -- renlentlessly
like gravity reaching to the sky embracing its heaviness,
and ravenously, like flames of crimson engulfing the darkness?

a naked kiss
in infinite bliss

(c) C.S.


[This message has been edited by The Wanderer (edited 09-06-2000).]

 

[zooropamanda]

*long soft sigh*

no words for this.
you already know im a 'love-sick' poet....

"Will you then kiss me -- delicately
like the droplets of rain in a sunshower,"

hmmmmm

 

[The Wanderer]

yes, well it seems as least someone likes it . . . I thought it was perfectly enchanting when I wrote it, but she just kind of laughed and dismissed it

so I have been hiding it away for almost a year without showing anyone

 

[Alisaura]

That is beautiful... I can't understand why your girlfriend dismissed it!! *I* would have been touched...

 

[zooropamanda]

awwwwwwww, poor wanderer

well, we appreciated it even if it want written about us ha ha

 

[The Wanderer]

um thanks, I think?

. . . and may I remind you zooropamanda, that though "he smells every rose," you are not a flower

--------
love, like a screaming flower,
love, dying every hour

 

[zooropamanda]

now you got me going

do you think we have used enough smilies in this thread?

 

[The Wanderer]

what, you don't remember your own line? I figured you needed a taste of your own medicine after that poor wanderer

barb

 

[zooropamanda]

Ha! of course I remember my own line!!

there was no poor wanderer barb, i was being sincere, and, and, well....sniff..nice

forever the misunderstood bad poet

 

[The Wanderer]

eh hem, correction: I haven't met any "bad" poets here, merely "unhappy" ones . . . so I retract that bit about you not being a flower, because I'm sure by any other name you smell just as sweet! (sorry Shankespeare) . . .

------
"don't let the bastards grind you down"

 

[oubah sa?d]

LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!!!!!!
HAHAHAH!!!!!!
Let me tell you something...You never I mean NEVER start what is supposed to be a romantic poem by..TOPLESS SHE SHOULD BE...
I am not saying it's a bad poem but I understand why it did not work with the girl.
A Naked Kiss....The words are too naked!!!!

 

[oubah sa?d]

OK
Now I feel bad.
I really did not mean too laugh I was just been honest.
I hope you are not mad.

Let me ask you this: Why does it say The Fool under my name.
Hey, no cheap shots!!!!!! Really explain to me.

 

[The Wanderer]

"The Fool" hmmm?? let me think . . . it's because I monitor the posts and decide who is what!!!

no not really, you are a Fool until you have about 30 posts I think??? anyway, that poem was playful and romantic . . . ok, so I went a little overboard in the beginning, but it wasn't anything she needed to be embarrassed about, um, since she was naked when I gave her the poem

. . . ok, enough of that, before this forumn takes a turn for the worse

 

[oubah sa?d]

Thank you for answering.

Again I am sorry. Cheap shot about the Fool thing but it is okay.
I used a good laugh. I know I laugh too mush.
You can read mine and laugh if you want to.
Nothing I do or say makes sense anyways.
Never mind that.
SEE YA

 

[scappy]

Starting a poem with "Topless she should be" should be okay, in my opinion, unless the author is sexist degenerate (which Wanderer does not seem to be) intending to denegrate the lady in question, or the recipient is a feminist who doesn't appreciate any comments connecting women to sex (or a prude who is shocked by the idea).

I mean, there are some things that should just be done while naked, you know?

I liked it Wanderer. Either she has no taste, or just doesn't like poetry.

------------------
Shelly Caplinger
"Dream out loud"

 

[The Wanderer]

interesting comments . . .

 

[The Wanderer]

Originally posted by scappy:
"unless the author is sexist degenerate"

<said author shudders and weeps>

[This message has been edited by The Wanderer (edited 09-05-2000).]

 

[scappy]

Why didn't you quote the important part of my reply: "which Wanderer does NOT seem to be"?

I mean, if Eminem started a song that way, I'd think it suspect; but for you to start a poem that way I have no problem...

I thought it was really good!

------------------
Shelly Caplinger
"Dream out loud"

 

[zooropamanda]

this one was probably the first that made me take notice of the poet we all know and love

 

[Anthony]

"And shall we kiss -- renlentlessly
like gravity reaching to the sky embracing its heaviness,
and ravenously, like flames of crimson engulfing the darkness?"

Thats quite moving, Wanderer. Very touching. It is a poem that yearns for such passion, was that ever vanquished? I ask because it is usually quite dangerous for a man to harbour such passion without letting it out; the poet is always a line away from being a murderer. One question; has the yearning for the 'naked kiss' stop after the flames of crimson engulfing the darkness? I would be surprised to find out that this was the only poem.

By the way, you are extremely lucky to have such a girlfriend who was obviously so flattered by it all that it made her laugh.

Ant.