VertigoGal
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
i wrote a few of these pretty quickly, they are mostly the boring rhyme scheme. im not posting them cos i think they're any good in particular, but im having serious problems finding a place to start with my writing and would love some constructive criticism. i just want to know if theres anything worthwhile that might catch your eye between all the cliches 
It may be true, that time heals our wounds
But it only seals them inside
Pulsing ever beneath the surface
Yearning to break through to the light
I remember the way you sneered at me
You can't tell me it wasn't hate
You looked at me, but it was his face you saw
I was born with a cluttered slate
You never knew when I needed you
Never noticed my swollen eyes
I used to think about ending it all
Because I thought it might make you cry
--------------------
The lines in your face inspire me
I'd trace them if I could
I'd like to memorize each crevice and fault
You're so misunderstood
If just once I could only touch
All the things you've meant to say
I'd absorb them into my being
Please don't turn me away
Acceptance is what I'm desiring
Tenderness is what you deserve
We deny one another our greatest needs
I wear my own crown of submission and hurt
To look at you is to look in a mirror
I've my hands pressed against the glass
I can feel the heat on the other side
And I'm going to make it last
------------------
"Such a waste of a life"
"He could have gone so far"
Another teenage victim
Another totaled car
I see the awkward people
As they slow to a crawl by the site
Sad, but he had it coming
They're saying with their eyes
Well things aren't always laid out
Exactly as you'd think
No one bothers to tell them
He'd not had a single drink
So go on with your day
And on with your alternate truth
It helps you justify his fate
It's the easy thing to do
--------------
i relive that day on the insides of my eyelids
a world only i can view
i can picture every detail
every word spoken
and every word not
every concealed glance
the blur between sincerity and spite
my love bleeds into my hatred
my past invades my present
yet I cannot put myself inside that world
i'm watching from behind the glass
an alternate reality
i can perceive my thoughts
but not the emotions
with which they are connected
i've pulled the plug
and now i observe the effects
by the dying light of adventure
and drama
and revenge
i've brainwashed myself
and i like it that way
It may be true, that time heals our wounds
But it only seals them inside
Pulsing ever beneath the surface
Yearning to break through to the light
I remember the way you sneered at me
You can't tell me it wasn't hate
You looked at me, but it was his face you saw
I was born with a cluttered slate
You never knew when I needed you
Never noticed my swollen eyes
I used to think about ending it all
Because I thought it might make you cry
--------------------
The lines in your face inspire me
I'd trace them if I could
I'd like to memorize each crevice and fault
You're so misunderstood
If just once I could only touch
All the things you've meant to say
I'd absorb them into my being
Please don't turn me away
Acceptance is what I'm desiring
Tenderness is what you deserve
We deny one another our greatest needs
I wear my own crown of submission and hurt
To look at you is to look in a mirror
I've my hands pressed against the glass
I can feel the heat on the other side
And I'm going to make it last
------------------
"Such a waste of a life"
"He could have gone so far"
Another teenage victim
Another totaled car
I see the awkward people
As they slow to a crawl by the site
Sad, but he had it coming
They're saying with their eyes
Well things aren't always laid out
Exactly as you'd think
No one bothers to tell them
He'd not had a single drink
So go on with your day
And on with your alternate truth
It helps you justify his fate
It's the easy thing to do
--------------
i relive that day on the insides of my eyelids
a world only i can view
i can picture every detail
every word spoken
and every word not
every concealed glance
the blur between sincerity and spite
my love bleeds into my hatred
my past invades my present
yet I cannot put myself inside that world
i'm watching from behind the glass
an alternate reality
i can perceive my thoughts
but not the emotions
with which they are connected
i've pulled the plug
and now i observe the effects
by the dying light of adventure
and drama
and revenge
i've brainwashed myself
and i like it that way
