Would this worry you?

[AvsGirl41]

I wrote this in my journal, but I'd actually like a wide range of opinions from men and women if I could get them...

My sister and I have this guy friend. Over this past summer, we have begun to suspect that maybe he likes my sister. We tend to do things as a group, so I think it's difficult for him to "pick" or feel that he can pick one without hurting the feelings of the other, which is too bad, as neither of us would care.

We all met at a club one night and Sarah insisted later he was there simply to check her out and that he was really acting jealous. Right after that, he signed on to MySpace and Sarah said again, she thought that he was doing it to "spy" on her. He's been leaving her what she claimed were "mushy" comments, but I thought she was being overly harsh. This weekend she got a message from him telling her that he had "an incredible dream" about her and "remind me to tell you all about it." Sarah thought it was really perverted he would tell her that. He also mentioned that he was eager to go back to the club, just let him know when we were going. We decided to go on Sunday, but we didn't call him as we wanted to keep the group small and female.

So I was hanging out, people watching, suddenly I see him! I run up and greet him, and express my surprise. He's surprised to see me, too. "I knew Sarah would be here, but not you." Now, this place is pitch black and it's quite easy to observe without being seen, so I have no idea how long he may have been there. He ended up hanging out with me, as Sarah was off dancing with other guys, and they barely spoke all evening. He ended up hanging around with me all night--and after, tried to get me to let him drive *me* home alone, despite that I had a ride with my original group.

Sarah and I are really bothered by this. Obviously, it's a public club and we can't say that he has no right to be there, but it seems odd you would just show up without telling, especially since he knows she goes every week.

Does anyone think this is verging on obsession, or stalking? He's a very nice guy, normally open and honest and this seems really odd behavior. It's raising the red flags with me, and I know to listen to that instinct, but I'm curious if anyone else here sees a problem.

 

[U2democrat]

That is a bit weird....I can't really offer advice on this but I'm sure there are plenty of other people here who would know better than I do.

 

[Bono's shades]

I think it's best to go with your instincts. A lot of times they are trying to tell you something. If you get an uncomfortable vibe around this guy, it might be best to avoid him.

 

[the soul waits]

You wrote that he's a friend...well, depending on how close a friend he is, I'd just kindly confront him (or maybe your sister could do that, or the three of you together) and she could make it clear that she's not interested in him romantically.

If he's not *that* good a friend, a conversation like that may be forced so might be better to avoid him a bit.

It's hard to assess from here, I'm sure that you can judge whether he's being creepy or just infatuated and shy.

 

[AvsGirl41]

He's such a nice guy, this seems really out of character for him. He is definitely NOT shy, however.

The plot thickens...I called his friend, which I sort of regret doing, and according to friend, "he didn't go to the club last night." When I said he most definitely did, he was really surprised.

He told the friend that we had called him and invited them out to the club again, which was definitely *not* true. The friend didn't want to go, so supposedly he wasn't either, they played cards and he went to bed. "Maybe he couldn't sleep, so he went to the club instead."

I don't really know what to think.