Why do you live?

[AtomicBono]

Okay, there have probably been many threads on this before, and perhaps this would have been better in FYM, but lately I've been wondering what the point of everything is. Basically I've been in love with this guy for about a year (I've liked him much longer than that) but he has been dating my friend for three years. I'm not gonna go into detail over it but it tears me up inside and I feel like I'm never gonna get over it and I've never had a relationship or done anything with anyone but I don't really want to, if it's not him, so I'll probably die alone and in love.

I'm so emo.

But anyway, besides that, I don't know where I'm going in life. I hate school now, most of my friends graduated last year (including the guy I'm in love with) and we've lost some of our best teachers and our school is into this dumb small schools shit. I don't know where I want to go to college or what I want to study or what kinda job I'll have. I do pretty well in school, but I have this feeling that I won't make it in the "real" world. I'm 17 and I don't even have my driver's licence yet (driving scares me, honestly). And on top of all that, I have no religion, I believe there's a God but that's about as far as I've gotten. I had faith at one point in my life, but ever since my mom went crazy and thought God was talking to her, well, I kinda felt like God fucked us over on that one.

So to summarize, I feel really lost and I'm just wondering, what's the point of this life? Why do you live?

 

[For Honor]

the whole point of life is to answer that question, in one light.



Figure out how to justify one's so called existence.....

 

[U2democrat]

I live to have fun, enjoy myself and my friends, music, and to make the world a better place.

 

[For Honor]

I'd also recomend some self discovery - find out who you are, and what makes, heh, what makes life worth living.

Some people seek happiness
Some people seek love, others career, successes..... there are as many ideologies as there are people in the world.



It seems like you're comparing yourself to other people in your original post. One thing is for sure - things change in life. And if you don't adapt, you will be lost. That's just how it goes. So while it is hard to get over lost friends and teachers...... there's still you. And there always will be you. So make sure you're at least friends with yourself.


==========


Personally... why do I live?


I live because that is what is natural for a living thing to do. I remember times when I was your age (ahem last year) and everything seemed meaningless. Everything seemed trite, and insignificant. That, more than anything else, was a period of realizeation about the world. You really start to open your eyes and come out of your childhood, and often times it is painful, or depressing, or just downright odd.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you.

But... hmm...... why do I live.........
I suppose my highest ideal would be to help make the world a better place. But that leads down "what is better?" etc etc etc....
And also, people are social beings, so social ties affect us a lot.
I suppose like all living things, the urge to pass on my genes is there, to procreate, to help the human race keep going, etc.


I wonder, though, if you are asking the right questions........


But then again..... part of finding answers IS asking the wrong questions...

 

[AtomicBono]

And there always will be you. So make sure you're at least friends with yourself.

I like that a lot. If there's one thing I love about myself, it's my taste in music. Damn I like good music. In fact, I'd say right now music is the reason I live. Out of all things I look forward to simply listening to music the most. If I could live inside my iPod, I would.

Yeah, I have that exact view - everything seems meaningless and trite and dumb.

Maybe if I wasn't so self-absorbed I could make the world a better place. What should I do though?

 

[starsgoblue]

Find out what makes you happy. And then do it. Everything else will fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion and enjoy the ride.

 

[For Honor]

Everyday... there is a moment or sowhen I realize that everything I've done today will have almost no impact on the outcome of the world, and maybe not even in the history of humankind.

There is a fear there, a worry. Some people can use that fear, or overcome, and make something.


*lost my train of thought*

=========

Nietzche said "I would only believe in a god that could dance". I am just reminded of that for some reason...
=============

If you are really into music, you can make a career out of it, if you really want to. That is something to explore. But I would also explore other things. The trouble with highschool is that your life is so condensed within a small number of people in a small area.

Try some mind expanding things. Go in FYM and read some posts, go to the library and fool around with some educational videos and see if anything sparks your interests. School clubs are good, if availible, etc.


Also, I found that doing some personality reseach helps. Even some minute things like figuring out your zodaic signs can help determine who you are, and what you're supposed to do in life. (but just like everything else on the net, be careful about what advice you take, and take it with a grain of salt, too). Even what I write here - I'm not you, so there is no possible way I can really give you an answer, maybe some of us here at interference canpoint you in the right direction, though.


I mean, I'd never literaly do this, but try to define some things about yourself - realize some characteristics you have, preferences. Realize how your environment growing up will shape your personality, and just...... meet the world.

Establishing your values, well, that helped me a lot. It organized things for me, and it helps when relating to otheres........


There really are so many things, and I don't know what direction I'm going in.


(also, I seem to not be posting properly, so if I'm rambling, don't mind me...)

If you can, public libraries are a decent place to start. I guess I'll close with that for now...

 

[For Honor]

Oh yeah, and if you feel like writing, you can write some things at DOL. That helped me a lot, in some ways...

 

[blindinglights7]

Oh yeah, and if you feel like writing, you can write some things at DOL. That helped me a lot, in some ways...

Write, Write, Write! I was recently (and am currently still kind of working through) a situation a little like yours. I was given the advice to write, and it has helped so much. I don't even particularly love writing, but just getting your thoughts out of your head and on paper is such... an experience, for lack of better words. It really works. And don't get caught up in writing what makes sense or what you think you should be writing about. Just let the thoughts pour out of you...

 

[U2SavesTheWorld]

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

i live because i haven't died yet.

 

[Numb1075]

what Starsgoblue said and what khanada rhodes said

I live for FUN, my wife, my son's smile and laughter, music, making others feel a little bit better by knowing you.

 

[u2bonogirl]

why do I live?
I'm on a journey to become who I am meant to be beyond all the crap in my heart.
My faith directs me and sustains me.
Im trying to be changed for the better to be more like my God. More humble. More loving. More selfless.
Its not the answer that some people would give but its mine.

Aside from that, I live to see my husband in the morning, and the trees change color, and to hear music that lifts and crushes the soul.

To find beauty in all the things that I take for granted every day.

To try and notice things that I never noticed before.

To learn new things like how to cook chicken and how the eye works.

Oh, and chocolate. Yeeeees. Dark chocolate.
A reason to live in itself

***edited to say, kissing
I kisses. They are lovely***

 

[HelloAngel]

AtomicBono,

Being young is fucked up, but surviving it is the whole point.

What you might not realize right now is that you are having very teenage emotions because these situations are the biggest things in your world, but what you might not realize in the darkest moments is that literally everyone else is also going through very similar emotional turmoils. Your over emotional because your hormones are running crazy as you develop into an adult. If anything, blame biology

It doesn't make it better, but please know we all go through it, and most importantly we get through it too.

Listen, when I was your age, like many girls, I was in love with this one guy who I thought was the love of my life. NO ONE could possibly ever replace him. But you know what? You move on in life, you go to college, you go to work and you meet OTHER PEOPLE. I promise. You really do. There will be many many other guys, you just need to learn how to realize that.

As for where you are going in life - most people at your age do not know either. That's what college is for, if you chose to go. If you don't, think of what truly interests you, and make a plan. Do some serious soul-searching. It will come to you. I promise.

As far as religion is concerned, yes, that is very important to some people - but it is not required in life to be happy. Don't feel guilty about it if you are not religious. I'm agnostic and I'm absolutely fine with that.

 

[Dismantled]

I love life I live to see the sun rise over the mountains in the morning, the happy faces on my dogs about to go for a walk, the birds chirping, springtime flowers, the beauty of fall leaves, the fun and excitment that comes from life....I live for it all!!! And my hubby

Life is beautiful..its like a blob of clay and you can shape it into anything you want. You can make it as simple or as complicated as you want.

 

[Sad_Girl]

Why do I live?

The answer to this question has changed more times than I can probably even count; more, I’m sure, than I’m aware of.

When I was young I lived because I did not know anything else.

When I was a little older, I lived because I was afraid of death.

For awhile, I lived because my family needed me.

At one time, I lived because I loved my husband.

Yet another time, I lived because I was blessed with a newborn baby nephew who needed me, as did his mother, my sister.

For a long, long time, I lived out of spite. Spite for the world which I felt wanted nothing better than to be rid of me. Spite for people who wished me ill or simply did not care that I existed. In spite of my body, burdened with the disease of depression, carrying a weight which constantly tried to drag me away from life.

At different times in my life, I have lived because it was what someone else wanted me to do.

Now? Now, I live for myself. I live to learn new things, feel new things, see new things… I live out of curiousity. I realized, somewhere along the line, that living for other people or simply trudging through life for spite or fear or because you simply don’t know what else to do is barely living at all.

Now, I am no longer afraid of what’s next. Bad things have happened in my life, and they will continue to happen. Theres no doubting or denying that. But everything which happens to me molds me into something better than I was yesterday. Every day, a million new opportunites are there, waiting for me. When I go to bed at night, I am not the same person I was when I awoke that morning.

Because I live aggressively. I choose to feel everything, even the pain. I live because there is so much out there to learn. I don’t know where I’m going to be in a year. I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow, much of the time. And whatsmore, I don’t want to know. If I had a plot, a script, or a road map to my life – something or someone telling me where to go and what to do – I don’t think I could live like that.

I live because I have not seen everything there is to see, because I don’t know what lurks around the corner of tomorrow. It may be something bad, but it also may be something wonderful.

 

[youtooellen]

I live to experience what I haven't experienced yet, feel what I haven't felt yet, see what I haven't seen yet, and especially hear what I haven't heard yet.

I love the feeling of discovering new music everyday and thinking about how twenty years from now, people will consider music right now as 'oldies'...

music

 

[neverman]

I find that I am living to ask more questions than I can possibly get any answers to. I live because I am really having fun living now...this was not always the case...i am a man who at one time had lost EVERYTHING..even a place to live.

But, I continued living...even though at times I did not want to...

Right now...I am living just to see my U2 show in December....and to ask more questions...lol...

Thanks for a thoughtful thread.

 

[AtomicBono]

Thanks for the insights, everyone. I really do appreciate the advice and I like reading other people's perspectives on things.

As for writing - it's funny, 'cos I wrote a LOT when I was a kid. Everyone said I had so much talent and I was going somewhere, and boy did I have quite an imagination. I had a spark for it, but that spark seems to have flickered and faded with age. I hardly write at all now, besides stupid Livejournal updates or whatever. I suppose I do write out my stream of conscious at times but usually seeing my thoughts on paper or on a screen just makes them seem worse.

I just feel like I've got to get out of here. I wish I could move to a different city and go to a different school and "start over again." I guess that's just running away, but hey, I did it when I went to high school, left it all behind (except for my best friend ever, I still talk to him all the time and go to U2 concerts with him and stuff) and I think it was the best for me. But now I've grown tired of this place too. Perhaps I'm a drifter that cannot settle down. But in a way I'm scared to leave because of the friends I've made and the boy I'm in love with and all.

Here's another question for you all: what was the best time of your life? Not like a single moment necessarily (though that's fine too), just in general. I've had people say that high school and being a teenager was the best time of their lives and if that's the case, I'd better go start smoking pot or something equally dumb and momentarily enjoyable, cuz it only gets worse from here on out.

 

[youtooellen]

As for writing - it's funny, 'cos I wrote a LOT when I was a kid. Everyone said I had so much talent and I was going somewhere, and boy did I have quite an imagination. I had a spark for it, but that spark seems to have flickered and faded with age. I hardly write at all now, besides stupid Livejournal updates or whatever. I suppose I do write out my stream of conscious at times but usually seeing my thoughts on paper or on a screen just makes them seem worse.

I just feel like I've got to get out of here. I wish I could move to a different city and go to a different school and "start over again."

it's so ironic how that's what I'm feeling right now
and the whole writing thing happened for me too. I feel like you do, writing the thoughts out makes them seem worse.

it's really strange because I want to get out of here so bad as well. I'm 16 and I'm looking forward to go off to uni cause then I can have somewhat of a new beginning for myself. I'm even considering after uni and whatnot, moving out and living on my own. possibly even out of the country to explore, discover, etc. I've lived in Illinois for all 16 years of my life, so it's a thought I like to ponder about very often.

see, I have a really different perspective on life. almost as if when we come into the world we have this certain amount of happiness, but we will never find it's true potential until we discover the key to it. and right now, I feel as if I'm on that long search for the key. then the next step would be to open the door, and sift through the endless possibilities waiting out there in the world for me.
I might sound like I'm rambling, but I guess this is where I tie in with your question.
I haven't experienced the 'best' time of my life yet. I mean sure, my first U2 concert was incredible, but until the future comes and I feel discover happiness to it's fullest, I'm sure I'll be able to say something was near the best time of my life.

I apologize for the really long post , but I just found it so weird how everything you said is all that's been on my mind lately

 

[AtomicBono]

see, I have a really different perspective on life. almost as if when we come into the world we have this certain amount of happiness, but we will never find it's true potential until we discover the key to it. and right now, I feel as if I'm on that long search for the key. then the next step would be to open the door, and sift through the endless possibilities waiting out there in the world for me.

I really like that analogy...

I've lived in Indiana for the majority of my life (I was born in Boston, but I don't remember the first two years of my life real well), though I have moved many times. I spent most of my childhood and all the way up through middle school in a suburb, then for high school I moved to about as close as a "big city" as you can get here - Indianapolis. At the time I hated the suburb and longed for something more, but now in a way I kinda miss it. But Indy isn't really a big city in the sense that New York and LA are, it's just sort of a bunch of towns put together to make the bus ride to school take a long time... I'd love to live in New York or maybe go back to Boston or something. Really, I want to go everywhere, to every country. That'd be fun.

Just curious, when was your first U2 concert? This tour? I saw them May 7th in Chicago, but my first concert was actually here in Indy back during Elevation, on Bono's birthday no less!

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this restlessness. And never apologize for long posts cuz whatever I reply will probably be longer

 

[youtooellen]

sometimes I get this feeling like life is too short or something. and as much as I want to live it to the fullest, I can't. so many restrictions if you know what I mean.

--

Just curious, when was your first U2 concert? This tour? I saw them May 7th in Chicago, but my first concert was actually here in Indy back during Elevation, on Bono's birthday no less!

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this restlessness. And never apologize for long posts cuz whatever I reply will probably be longer

my first U2 concert was the Sept. 21st show at the UC. incredible. not so great seats, but I saw them and I'm happy. I was actually trying to get tickets for one of the May shows back then but... I had a school band concert

I agree about your comment about not being the only one who feels this restlessness . no one I know seem to relate and have thought about this kind of stuff. when I try to get them to understand, they never end up understanding.

 

[HelloAngel]

I just feel like I've got to get out of here. I wish I could move to a different city and go to a different school and "start over again." I guess that's just running away, but hey, I did it when I went to high school, left it all behind (except for my best friend ever, I still talk to him all the time and go to U2 concerts with him and stuff) and I think it was the best for me. But now I've grown tired of this place too. Perhaps I'm a drifter that cannot settle down. But in a way I'm scared to leave because of the friends I've made and the boy I'm in love with and all.

Life is how you change it, so perhaps you should think of going off to college if you chose to go to college, you know? I know for me personally, moving has been my answer. I am a restless sort, and I like a change of pace. Although I've had alot of sadness and drama in my life, I didn't move to get away from it, I moved around so that I made sure I wasn't missing out on anything. (And as it turns out, I was.)

Here's another question for you all: what was the best time of your life? Not like a single moment necessarily (though that's fine too), just in general. I've had people say that high school and being a teenager was the best time of their lives and if that's the case, I'd better go start smoking pot or something equally dumb and momentarily enjoyable, cuz it only gets worse from here on out.

I think alot of people look back and say their teenage years were the best because that's the one time in your life where you are kind of really and truly free. You might not feel so when you're going through it, but it's true. Every day is a blank canvas that you can paint in as many colors as you can dream of. Although I had lots of heartbreak and heartache when I was a teenager, I also felt exhilirated everytime Friday night rolled around - I never knew where the nights would take me. I'm no angel, and I certainly goofed around, but hey, that's the only time in your life where you're free to be whoever you want to be without too much holding you back.

As far as things going to shit when you get older, that's not really the case. The foundation you build as a young adult figures greatly into your adult life. Why? Because you can be whatever you put your mind to. You can dream out loud and try to make your life whatever you want it to be. Your life is entirely up to you. The choices you make are all you. Make them count.

That isn't to say that adulthood is all merry and joyful - it's just that it's the culmination and realization of who you are. Sure, you have to be financially independent, you have bills you need to pay, you have a job, and you start going out less and less, but it's all you, and that's pretty damn cool. It's whatever path you choose by the choices you make.

If I could relive my teenage years, I would in a heartbeat. It was the hardest, most impossible, but most exhilarating time I've ever known. I miss the silliness, the melodrama. Not all of the heartache, but so much of the heartache is based on limited perception and thinking EVERYTHING IS THE BIGGEST THING EVER.

But you know what? It builds strength and character, and that is so important. It's a shame that teenagers can't know that or see what's on the other side of the brick wall, but that's what's so poetic about that time in your life. You're all going through the same emotions but don't really know it. You have your entire life ahead of you, but you can't really see the magic of that because you're too caught up in who said what and what you're wearing to the party this weekend.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

to prove to some people that they didn't destroy me

because God still cares and loves, and is love

that isn't to say Atomic Bono that those are your answers, you have to find those for yourself

You are so young, please don't beat yourself up. You have so much ahead of you, but there will always be hurt and self loathing of some sort. Just try to keep your head above water and remember that you are important. I've learned the hard way that the cliche is so true-you are the author of the only dictionary that defines you. Do not let others define who you are.

 

[hiphop]

Good posts, Hello Angel and MrsSpringsteen. I like the define-yourself-part. Good words.

Yep. Part of getting older is knowing who you are and what you want (and even more what you surely don´t want!). I have to say that up to now my 30s are better than I probably would have expected them to be with 22.

 

[AtomicBono]

But you know what? It builds strength and character, and that is so important. It's a shame that teenagers can't know that or see what's on the other side of the brick wall, but that's what's so poetic about that time in your life. You're all going through the same emotions but don't really know it. You have your entire life ahead of you, but you can't really see the magic of that because you're too caught up in who said what and what you're wearing to the party this weekend.

Yeah, the thing is though I don't feel like a typical teenager. I don't go to parties, have never had a relationship or done anything with anyone, and I don't and have no desire to drink or do drugs. I really think there's something wrong with me. It's not like I'm an angel or prune that's never done anything wrong, far from it. I just...I don't know. I think I'm far too obsessive. I think about him all the time and there's this feeling that's been sinking in that I'm just never gonna get over it. I love him too much. I feel too deep. I'm too sensitive. I've always been that way. It's not normal. I'm not normal. But it's who I am.

 

[For Honor]

Heh heh heh....

I live to understand life and find the connections. I live to understand love, and to figure out what it is from a..... from insight and also detached means.

I don't have common views about happiness, or feeling happiness, but I don't deny in doing what one feels as right....


I guess understanding humans is a very interesting thing.

But....... part of my destiny, I realize, and somewhat regretably admit, is that I live for the person I love. And lastly........ I live to play out this conflict within myself about who I am.


But I like what Khanda said, I think that is an efficient and undeniably relevant answer.



============



Happiest time in my life?



not important to me, not yet. When I was a kid, before I knew anything at all, that was "happy". But it was ignorance. So I don't think it's really safe to say it was a real happiness.

My kind of happiness takes time.

But I'm not unhappy at the moment, either.
When I get what I'll be happy about, though, I think that it will be more than evident.

Happiness is a ............
Well I guess I don't think about it like other people do.
Or maybe it's that I don't "think" I see it the way others do.
But it still, without argue, influences my decisions.


eh......... that is a very sporadic and rambling post. Oh well

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Yeah, the thing is though I don't feel like a typical teenager. I don't go to parties, have never had a relationship or done anything with anyone, and I don't and have no desire to drink or do drugs. I really think there's something wrong with me. It's not like I'm an angel or prune that's never done anything wrong, far from it. I just...I don't know. I think I'm far too obsessive. I think about him all the time and there's this feeling that's been sinking in that I'm just never gonna get over it. I love him too much. I feel too deep. I'm too sensitive. I've always been that way. It's not normal. I'm not normal. But it's who I am.

Aw sweetie, you are perfectly "normal" What is normal anyway? Who defines that?

I was just like you at 17, so I know what it's like. I have always struggled to accept myself and to ignore others' opinions of me and who they think I am and what I should be doing/not doing.

It's tough, but the ultimate satisfaction in life is liking who you are, being sensitive is also one of the most important things in life. It causes you to struggle so much more and have more pain than others do, but I think it's still worth it. I think being insensitive is abnormal.

I know just what it feels like to feel that way about a guy too, but you have to try not to let that affect how special you are, and try not to change who you are because of that. That's not being true to yourself. It hurts so much, I know.

 

[HelloAngel]

Yeah, the thing is though I don't feel like a typical teenager. I don't go to parties, have never had a relationship or done anything with anyone, and I don't and have no desire to drink or do drugs. I really think there's something wrong with me. It's not like I'm an angel or prune that's never done anything wrong, far from it. I just...I don't know. I think I'm far too obsessive. I think about him all the time and there's this feeling that's been sinking in that I'm just never gonna get over it. I love him too much. I feel too deep. I'm too sensitive. I've always been that way. It's not normal. I'm not normal. But it's who I am.

I agree with Mrs Springsteen...

You are perfectly normal! There's nothing wrong with wanting to follow the straight and narrow. My boyfriend did and he's great!

As far as thinking you'll never get over this guy, we've all been there. We say that not to belittle how you're feeling. At all. It's just that you are 17 and have alot of living to do yet. Saying you'll never get over him is like saying you know you'll never break your arm, live in Paris or have your dream job at 25. You're too young and too free to know certain things for certain. Hell, when people get married they make a vow to love that person forever. And well, we know that's just not possible in many cases. Hence the divorce rate.

The point is, just try to stick it out, write down your feelings (that helps so much), and dream out loud. U2's "Achtung Baby" saved my life when I was your age and helped me discover inner power I didn't know I had. I know that might sound stupid, but it's the truth.

All these years later.. do I still think about my First Love and wonder what he's up to? Sure I do. He was very important during those tumultuous teenage years, and I can't help it. But you know what - I ended up settling down with a guy who I couldn't stand in high school who became my best friend somehow the year after high school. This was a person I swore up and down that I could never date. And what do you know? Here we are 7 years later happier than pigs in shit.

 

[AtomicBono]

The point is, just try to stick it out, write down your feelings (that helps so much), and dream out loud. U2's "Achtung Baby" saved my life when I was your age and helped me discover inner power I didn't know I had. I know that might sound stupid, but it's the truth.

Achtung Baby is amazing. Acrobat has become my theme song as of late. It's like everything I've ever felt condensed into four and a half minutes. The lyrics, the music, the aggression, the hope...perfect. Don't let the bastards grind you down.

As for divorce...I've seen that too many times. My mom and dad are two of the most wonderful people ever, but they divorced when I was two. My mom remarried three times, divorced. My dad remarried once and recently divorced after, what, eight years? The song One makes so much sense to me. I sense the bitterness in it that Bono originally intended.

I sometimes feel I've just got bad luck.

Today I walked to Marsh to get some candy for Halloween. As I was walking home I put on Beautiful Day, because it was fucking gorgeous outside. The sky was huge and blue but the sun wasn't overbearing. The temperature was just how I love it, that autumn feeling where it's just warm enough to not need a jacket but there's this chill in the air that goes through your bones and makes you feel alive. Instead of going home I ended up just walking around and listening to the entire album of All That You Can't Leave Behind. It was a magical feeling and by the end I felt amazingly calm. I think...that's why I live. That may sound petty or ridiculous or whatever, but there are times when I listen to U2 and everything is perfect, just for a few moments.