Why do girls(or guys for that matter) do this?

[U2387]

Hello to all!

Never made a thread here in confessionals and rarely post here, so bear with me, please!

Recently, it seems like I am getting a lot more attention from females my age, which I welcome. I don't know if its the fact that I am finally feeling a bit better after going through the worst times of my life in 2009/early 2010 and that is showing through or something else.

Either way, I am having better conversations, more flirting, more prospects than I have since probably 2 years ago.

I have recently noticed a trend with girls that initiate flirtation with me and I can't help but comment on it and ask for the thoughts of others.

Why is it that girls will flirt with guys(or guys with girls) and not just be friendly, I mean, really put yourself out there as somewhat interested and/or available, when they have boyfriends?

I am not saying go into a shell and don't talk to anyone of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship, far from it, but to the extent that these girls have gone with me just in the last couple months at the gym I go to?

Both of these girls work the desk at the gym.

-One of them, a nice looking brunette about 3 or 4 years older than me will always hit on me and last week, she even gave me a little accidentally on purpose show of the assets by "picking up pieces of paper" on the floor. She did this back to me, then chest(you know what I mean by this) to me, then flirtatiously said hello as I walked in.

-The next one is a blonde/dirty blonde/light brown about 2 yrs younger than me who often smiles at me and tries to get me to notice her as I walk by her. She is very attractive, but U2 wrote Moment of Surrender, Bad and Running To Standstill for her, so I don't want those problems, never been much for heroin. Very nice and articulate as well, too bad she is an addict, hope she gets help either on her own or after an arrest(unfortunate as that would be).
Back to the point, this particular girl the other day looked right at me, smiled and told me I had gorgeous blue eyes.

What do both of these girls have in common?

A nice little invention known as Facebook tells me they have boyfriends!

This frustrates me, as it screams "tease" and makes me think all I am there for is to reassure these girls of their attractiveness by looking at them/chasing them around the gym.

It doesn't help that the dating pool has gone down significantly for me since I graduated college, so I am still adjusting to that!

Thank you for reading, I am far from concise, sorry!!

Questions, comments, thoughts in general?

 

[mad1]

sometimes I think a lot of people, girls/guys, like to be open that way in case they meet someone better.

some of it could be they are confident and like to 'use' themselves by coming across as very in control.

perhaps having a boyfriend/girlfriend creates this ability that they are confident and flirty but know they are unattainable.


maybe some people in a relationship can openly flirt but be comfortable about it because they are in control of how far it goes, cause deep down their heart DOES belong to the person they are with.



so many reasons man.









I never make sense

 

[cobl04]

i would guess that this

perhaps having a boyfriend/girlfriend creates this ability that they are confident and flirty

has a lot to do with it.

but i don't know i don't really have a great deal of experience here but i would reckon that if you were in a good relationship, especially one that's just started, you'd probably have a bit of a swagger.

 

[mad1]

btw I would usually think..........not trying to offend here!..........but perhaps a lot of girls with boyf/hubby out there enjoy being teasers.........

.......if a girl can manipulate/make a guy 'putty' in her hands......she kinda knows she has great power to draw them in and do that, and it can be a feel-good thing............not necessarily meaning to hurt anyone but perhaps the guy, as its more for her self-boost benefit.

maybe same for guys.......it may be a boost that he can still pull girls, that he still 'has it'


could be 'ego' for both sexes.

I dunno! LOL!


Cobl you are prob right about a 'swagger' thang............

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Because they need the constant ego boost of attention from men. If you get your self esteem from your attractiveness to men you need that from more than just your boyfriend.

Just one possibility

 

[redhotswami]

-One of them, a nice looking brunette about 3 or 4 years older than me will always hit on me and last week, she even gave me a little accidentally on purpose show of the assets by "picking up pieces of paper" on the floor. She did this back to me, then chest(you know what I mean by this) to me, then flirtatiously said hello as I walked in.

-The next one is a blonde/dirty blonde/light brown about 2 yrs younger than me who often smiles at me and tries to get me to notice her as I walk by her. She is very attractive, but U2 wrote Moment of Surrender, Bad and Running To Standstill for her, so I don't want those problems, never been much for heroin. Very nice and articulate as well, too bad she is an addict, hope she gets help either on her own or after an arrest(unfortunate as that would be).
Back to the point, this particular girl the other day looked right at me, smiled and told me I had gorgeous blue eyes.

What do both of these girls have in common?

A nice little invention known as Facebook tells me they have boyfriends!

This frustrates me, as it screams "tease" and makes me think all I am there for is to reassure these girls of their attractiveness by looking at them/chasing them around the gym.

It doesn't help that the dating pool has gone down significantly for me since I graduated college, so I am still adjusting to that!

Thank you for reading, I am far from concise, sorry!!

Questions, comments, thoughts in general?

In all honesty, I don't think this is at all excessive. I've had much worse done to me by douchebag guys with gfs. I don't think they're trying to tease or lure you into anything. This is just harmless flirting.

 

[Bonoa]

Some girls still like to get the attention, even when they have a boyfriend. I think these are the types who think a guy and a girl can't just be friends or friendly with each other (because of traditional upbringing, her mom was a cheerleader, or because they have a lot of popular BFFs). They are secretly very insecure and/or still want to check what their 'market value' is.

And then there is the weak type of über girly girl who thinks she can get everything done with female charm only. You know, the type who orders stamps at the post office with a high pitched voice and her finger in her mouth while she twists her hips, while after that she wonders why everyone thinks she's a dumb blonde or why the old guy (over 50) behind the counter was drooling while he eyed her up and down.

The guys with girlfriends who want something more from other girls are just plain losers who only think with their small shrimp shaped organ instead of their brain. They wants to score as much as possible only to brag about it to their friends. Especially these douchbags who'll tell you that "your boyfriend doesn't have to know, I know my girlfriend won't!" when you explain that you're not interested and that you're already seeing someone (which means: "bugger off!!!", but the guys in question are too dumb to get it!).

 

[Catman]

You know what annoys me? Whenever you're talking to a girl (could be the same with guys) and she arbitrarily mentions her boyfriend - I know for some it could be a way of averting a potential flirtatious encounter, but more often than not it seems they mention their significant other just for the sake of it. I could mention going to the water fountain and the girl would be like, "oh my boyfriend likes water!!1" Yes, and this is relevant to the conversation hhooowwwww?

 

[mad1]

maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe Catman, they are hinting to ya so you DONT ask them out

only kiddin, I think its just that..............she/he is sharing what his/her boyf/girlf likes - that 'things in common' shit that must come with partnership.........surely that comes with new-formed relationships but? as its almost like a 'new love/me happy/fuk you' type terms.

 

[coolian2]

You know what annoys me? Whenever you're talking to a girl (could be the same with guys) and she arbitrarily mentions her boyfriend - I know for some it could be a way of averting a potential flirtatious encounter, but more often than not it seems they mention their significant other just for the sake of it. I could mention going to the water fountain and the girl would be like, "oh my boyfriend likes water!!1" Yes, and this is relevant to the conversation hhooowwwww?

haha, for real. very few girls i know directly tell me they're in a relationship, they slip it in before you even notice.

it's amusing seeing how it comes up though.

 

[mad1]

Bonoa, thats cause guys just love to spread about........I know not all, but most likely a majority.

those who spread should stay single and just do one night stands.

 

[Bonoa]

I could mention going to the water fountain and the girl would be like, "oh my boyfriend likes water!!1" Yes, and this is relevant to the conversation hhooowwwww?

Maybe she heard that she's going to get some water from your fountain...

Bonoa, thats cause guys just love to spread about........I know not all, but most likely a majority.

those who spread should stay single and just do one night stands.

true

 

[Got Philk?]

My wife likes water...

Oh, I mean I asked a friend about this once. She would say that women aren't doing anything, but we men are looking for it...or take everything as flirting. In other words, it is our brains that turn actions or words into flirting, when in actuality there is nothing there.

I has made me think a little more any time I feel like someone is flirting a little with me...but i don't know...

Plus, I'm married. So, though it may be flattering, that is where it stays.

 

[financeguy]

The message here is that women are dangerous, and best avoided.

 

[Earl-Of-IMDb]

lol

 

[U2387]

You know what annoys me? Whenever you're talking to a girl (could be the same with guys) and she arbitrarily mentions her boyfriend - I know for some it could be a way of averting a potential flirtatious encounter, but more often than not it seems they mention their significant other just for the sake of it. I could mention going to the water fountain and the girl would be like, "oh my boyfriend likes water!!1" Yes, and this is relevant to the conversation hhooowwwww?

That can be annoying too!

I have had it happen to me a couple times, only once with a girl I was attracted to. It didn't burst my bubble too much or really piss me off because she was my boss's daughter and I figured she had a boyfriend anyway. It wasn't like I thought she was single.

Its even worse when it happens with a girl who you are not very attracted to and were not trying to flirt with/pick up in any way. I've had that happen a lot- some God awful girl with no class thinks my being nice to her means I am trying to make a pass at her and she's like "well, my boyfriend has a pulse too!!!!!!!" Jeez.....I have no interest and you're nowhere near hot enough to be able to assume guys are interested no matter how the interaction goes.

This is getting into something entirely different, but the worst thing is when you have a crush on a girl like I did with my boss's daughter 4 years ago, then it fades and all of a sudden, the girl shows some interest in you.

I have been talking with a girl recently who always brings up her ex around me, I always thought that was one of those things you only mention in passing, if ever even in a relationship.

And now the heroin addict at the gym I mentioned in the OP is single and wont leave me alone. She's tempting the hell out of me........ She's one of the most attractive and nicest girls I've met, but I get the feeling that with her problems comes a hell of a lot more than meets the eye, stuff I'm not willing to find out the hard way. Plus it doesn't help that she has no idea I know anything about the heroin- I figured it out after hearing it from another guy at the gym, pulling up an arrest/ arraignment on google, and watching some of her mannerisms and dress patterns over time to confirm. She probably has no idea I am perceptive enough to pick up on it.

I'd ask her for coffee- thats harmless enough I'd say, but my paranoid side says even having someone like that in your car could lead you right into a bad situation involving either side of the law. Not helping the matter that my best friend's dad, an ex police chief in my town, says "go ahead and ask her out, give her a shot and if you really like her, let me know and I'll help you help her out."

I know its stupid to even give her consideration, but physical attraction and being able to hold up your end of an intelligent conversation are two extremely tempting things to me......

Maybe FinanceGuy is onto something, as he usually is!

 

[hiphop]

The message here is that women are dangerous, and best avoided.

right!!