Why Do Girls Do This?

[Moser]

I met someone who I thought was special. We had an oddly large amounts of things in common, and became close. Next thing you know, we take the next step, get physical and what not, and spend a lot of time together. Emotionally, I was at a high. I thought I actually found someone who cared and understood me. Life felt good.

Then, shortly afterward I see her less and less. She says she's busy and I understand. College is rough and time-consuming. We don't make things official because because we have enough obligations already. Anyway, I see her less and less, and pretty soon I'm a nervous and emotional wreck. She was on my mind all the time, and it was pretty much kinda driving me insane. I don't know what's going on and she's sending me the mixed signals.

So in that state of mind, I call her and ask what's going on. She tells me that everything between us was just a thing and that she never wanted to pursue it beyond that. I try my best to understand. I feel rejected and what not. Oh, well. Nothing new. It's part of life and I'll move on. She didn't want things to get serious. She was in college. No need for a boyfriend at the moment. I get it. It hurts, but at least I knew the answers now.

The next day she tells me she's seeing some dude. I was shocked, but I hid it from her. I didn't know what to think. I got even more messed up and started hitting the booze. My friends noticed, and wouldn't tell them what was up. My best friend knew the situation. I didn't tell him the situation. She told him. And he told me who the guy was. Some 25 year old who lived with his parents. He didn't go to our college but attended the frat and dance parties.My buddy had asked her why she would go for some dude like that, and she replied "I like dancers".

Well, that hurt even more, and I wish I didn't know the truth. I eventually stumble upon them making out in a floor lobby and the dude's an obvious loser (I'm not saying that in jealousy or anger, etc. You know a loser when you see one).

All this happened in a relative short time. I want to be mad at her. I want to blame her for everything I feel, but I feel like I've brought a lot of this onto myself. It's very a hard thing to understand for me. Last weekend, she said she wanted to see how I was doing and wanted to hang out. I said I wasn't ready....I needed to get things together. Why does she care?

So I ask: Why?

 

[love_u2_adam]

I could ask the same about guys hun!
you think an attractive, fun, and outgoing chick could kind a guy to just have fun with and you know be close with, NO! This has happened to me so many times i can't count. I'll get close to a guy fall for him and then he says he doesn't want a girlfriend and next 2 weeks he's dating someone. It's actually happened to me twice this week, and the guy I've started liking will probably do it to me too, actually he kind of has.. he said he wanted one but then i started liking him and now i guess he doesn't want one WHAT EVER piece of shit. I'm so done with guys it's not even funny. But this has only happen to you once(?!?) so i wouldn't give up honestly! I'm soooo sorry women are bitches!

 

[A_Wanderer]

Why do people do anything? Because it feels good

Your only mistake was getting loved up, move along.

 

[Galeongirl]

Don't blame the whole female population for this.

People do this stuff in general, because they're selfish. THey only care for their own feelings, not yours.
Find a different woman who does care for you.

 

[cobl04]

At least you had a nice period beforehand

 

[Screwtape2]

I was reading this and in the middle of it I knew exactly what was going to happen. I'm sorry.

Like Kayla said, this happens to both sexes. Everyone is different but the common thread in these types of things is a lack of looking through the other person's perspective. In this case, it was yours.

From this girl's perspective, she wants something but what she would be getting isn't what she actually needs. Let me explain. People get into relationships for some strange reasons sometimes. Things like a feeling of security, a short term sexual encounters, rebellion, self-esteem, dealing with pain and stuff like that. If a person is in a relationship for one of those reasons, you probably aren't thinking about the person and what deep down you yourself actually need. This girl seemed to be looking for something that wasn't the foundation of a relationship and never told you. You should move on because clearly there is nothing there.

Good luck.

 

[BonoIsMyMuse]

I had a guy do pretty much the same thing to me a few years ago, except that it was more serious. It was devastating, and it took me a really long time to get over it, but the most valuable thing I learned from it is to always make sure I'm seeing people for who they really are and not who I want them to be. There were signs long before we broke up that things weren't going to work out the way that I wanted them to, and I kept refusing to see them, thinking if I tried harder, the relationship would work. It didn't, and the fact that I let myself be strung along like that made it even harder, because I hated myself for being stupid as much as I hated him for dumping me.

I'm sorry you had to go through this. As much as it hurts now, try to put it in perspective and not let yourself make the same mistakes again.

 

[AtomicBono]

Yeah, I really liked this guy for awhile, and things seemed to be going the direction I wanted - we hung out a few times, and then he blatantly asked if I wanted to make out with him...well, duh. We did a bit more than that and then he stopped talking to me. I still don't really understand it. He said he was "mad at women," for reasons completely unrelated to anything I did. Whatever.

The point is, both guys and girls do this. Don't be mad at her and be "mad at women." Just realize that none of this is your fault and you did the best you could. You can be stronger because of this. At least you had something. Don't forget this, but move on if you can.

 

[cobl04]

This makes me jealous, of all the emotions. Sorry

 

[DaveC]

"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks."
- Cordozar Calvin Broadus, Jr.

 

[love_u2_adam]

This makes me jealous, of all the emotions. Sorry

WHAT?! what are you jealous of?
Heat break and tears lol???

 

[cobl04]

the old cliche

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

it does suck when anyone, male or female, leads someone on. i had a pretty similar thing happen to me: i liked guy, he liked me back. we went out, did some stuff, then all of a sudden it was like i was invisible. mere days later he was listed as in a relationship with his ex (lol facebook drama). and this was after we'd dated previously, he acted like an ass, and apologized to me about it. at least i learned leopards don't change their spots.

as to why it happened to you, there's several explanations. some just like using others. have some fun and forget about them. others realize the relationship is moving faster than they want and instead of talking to you and saying you want to slow things down or take a break and can't be totally straight about it for whatever reason (i've had this happen too). others are just unsure of what they really want...there's tons of explanations. just take solace in that not every girl is like that. and it does suck when it happens to you.

hopefully you'll rebound soon (i don't necessarily mean a rebound relationship, just feeling better about things in general) and feel better

 

[RedRocksU2]

Why do girls wear make up and perfume?


'Cus they are ugly and they smell bad.

 

[love_u2_adam]

=( i wear makeup.... am i ugly =(

 

[EdgeIsTooSexy]

Why do girls wear make up and perfume?


'Cus they are ugly and they smell bad.

niiiiiiiice



honestly, i think its just the way the world works. you have good relationships and then you have the ones that either dont happen or are sucky. dont give up, youll find someone worth your time