wolfeden
Refugee
it's been awhile since I've posted here.
apparently all the vileness was being saved up to hit us all at once.
Then the real crap hit.
My dad's partner of some 26 years has always had an alcohol problem.
In April, she apparently tried to let her dog out to take a walk at about 3:30AM.
She was very inebriated and fell down two flights of outdoor stairs, fracturing her skull and injuring her brain badly, which caused a bad bleed inside her skull. It was worse because she was so drunk -- alcohol prevents blood from clotting.
Somehow she got back into her house, and like the other times the alcohol caused an accident, she tried to cover it up. I think she tried to take a shower. In the end she ended up in a seizure on her couch.
Her dog barked and barked until the neighbors came out to see what was going on and found her that way around 5AM.
Her brain was so badly damaged that it had swelled and herniated - part of it passed through the hole at the base of the skull where the spinal column connects. She was brain-dead, no activity at all.
57 years old. Half her life spent with my dad.
We let her go, took out the machines keeping her body alive, and she passed a day later.
They never married, didn't find it needed since they were both divorcees already. She did not leave a will.
This meant everything went to her 96 year old mother, senile and in ill health.
There's two nieces I've never met in those 26 years that Kathy was part of my family, who suddenly appeared acting as though they were the only ones with a right to grieve and trying to exclude my father from everything.
26 goddamn years.
Vying for property. Dollar signs where their hearts should be.
Her mother died of grief a few weeks later. My father spent his days by her bedside, taking care of her as he always has in the decades.. he was closer to her than his own late mother.
These nieces spent their time ransacking her home and getting lawyers secured to grab as much of both estates as they could.
Why. What possesses people to become vultures in this kind of situation. Where is the dignity, the decency, the basic courtesy? Where is the simple goddamned understanding that a legal paragraph on a piece of paper is not the only thing that proves a relationship was deep and real?
I've been to too many funerals this year.
I hate the entire human race, some days.
Trying to keep my father sane through this. It's not the property I care about. It's how they're treating him like dirt.
The next person who tried to feed me that pap about how "god only gives you as much as you can handle" is going to have my fist down their throat.
I never believed in any god anyway and this is one more reason why.
I'm the one who washed her blood and fecal matter off the walls and floor of that bathroom where she tried to shower. Head injuries that severe often cause involuntary evacuation of the bowels. She'd evidently managed to get into the tub but couldn't make it work.
It took me, my brother and two friends four hours to clean up all the blood in her condo, all the more jarring because she always kept it so meticulously clean. We weren't going to let our dad see that.
Blood everywhere. The walls, the floor, the stairs outside.
Where the fuck were those nieces then?
I'm the one taking care of her dog now, 12 years old and completely lost without her. I'm the one who washed her blood off his fur, proof of how he'd stayed by her however long she lay outside. I can't even pay my own vet bills right now let alone take on another dog, but I'm apparently the only one who can do it. Nieces? No, no, couldn't possibly.
I. Hate. Everyone.
So stupid. Such a senseless way to die. Pointless. I haven't gotten past that anger yet either. I don't know how. If I could see her now I sometimes think I'd start screaming about what her addiction did to my father. He doesn't deserve any of this to happen to him. Why. Just fucking why.
Why?
apparently all the vileness was being saved up to hit us all at once.
- Broke my back
- Spouse got fired
- corrollary: Lost health insurance when this happened
Then the real crap hit.
My dad's partner of some 26 years has always had an alcohol problem.
In April, she apparently tried to let her dog out to take a walk at about 3:30AM.
She was very inebriated and fell down two flights of outdoor stairs, fracturing her skull and injuring her brain badly, which caused a bad bleed inside her skull. It was worse because she was so drunk -- alcohol prevents blood from clotting.
Somehow she got back into her house, and like the other times the alcohol caused an accident, she tried to cover it up. I think she tried to take a shower. In the end she ended up in a seizure on her couch.
Her dog barked and barked until the neighbors came out to see what was going on and found her that way around 5AM.
Her brain was so badly damaged that it had swelled and herniated - part of it passed through the hole at the base of the skull where the spinal column connects. She was brain-dead, no activity at all.
57 years old. Half her life spent with my dad.
We let her go, took out the machines keeping her body alive, and she passed a day later.
They never married, didn't find it needed since they were both divorcees already. She did not leave a will.
This meant everything went to her 96 year old mother, senile and in ill health.
There's two nieces I've never met in those 26 years that Kathy was part of my family, who suddenly appeared acting as though they were the only ones with a right to grieve and trying to exclude my father from everything.
26 goddamn years.
Vying for property. Dollar signs where their hearts should be.
Her mother died of grief a few weeks later. My father spent his days by her bedside, taking care of her as he always has in the decades.. he was closer to her than his own late mother.
These nieces spent their time ransacking her home and getting lawyers secured to grab as much of both estates as they could.
Why. What possesses people to become vultures in this kind of situation. Where is the dignity, the decency, the basic courtesy? Where is the simple goddamned understanding that a legal paragraph on a piece of paper is not the only thing that proves a relationship was deep and real?
I've been to too many funerals this year.
I hate the entire human race, some days.
Trying to keep my father sane through this. It's not the property I care about. It's how they're treating him like dirt.
The next person who tried to feed me that pap about how "god only gives you as much as you can handle" is going to have my fist down their throat.
I never believed in any god anyway and this is one more reason why.
I'm the one who washed her blood and fecal matter off the walls and floor of that bathroom where she tried to shower. Head injuries that severe often cause involuntary evacuation of the bowels. She'd evidently managed to get into the tub but couldn't make it work.
It took me, my brother and two friends four hours to clean up all the blood in her condo, all the more jarring because she always kept it so meticulously clean. We weren't going to let our dad see that.
Blood everywhere. The walls, the floor, the stairs outside.
Where the fuck were those nieces then?
I'm the one taking care of her dog now, 12 years old and completely lost without her. I'm the one who washed her blood off his fur, proof of how he'd stayed by her however long she lay outside. I can't even pay my own vet bills right now let alone take on another dog, but I'm apparently the only one who can do it. Nieces? No, no, couldn't possibly.
I. Hate. Everyone.
So stupid. Such a senseless way to die. Pointless. I haven't gotten past that anger yet either. I don't know how. If I could see her now I sometimes think I'd start screaming about what her addiction did to my father. He doesn't deserve any of this to happen to him. Why. Just fucking why.
Why?
I also don't know what to say. The whole situation is tragic and I think you have a right to be angry & upset at the world. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's good to vent and let it all out. Like Sicy said, it's always the good people.... 
