weird thing about my ex-girlfriends

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UnforgettableLemon

UnforgettableLemon

Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS
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I've now officially dated 5 girls who decided that they were bisexual or lesbians after dating me. I would find this incredibly emasculating for some reason, if not for the fact that one told me that she'd been really enjoying the physical element of our relationship.

I mean no offense to anyone of those persuasions, but I do think it's a bit strange that most of the girls I date at least temporarily give up on guys.
 
It has nothing to do with you, I don't believe anyone can "turn" anyone gay or lesbian, I think that's utter nonsense. I believe men and women can be "bicurious" or just be involved w/ the opposite sex because they're in denial of their orientation. Not to turn this into that kind of thread, that's just my 02
 
i have a penchant for gay men, so i can totally relate to where you're coming from.

i know what my problem is: i keep dating inappropriate people because it's safer. no hope in hell that things will work out, which is just fine by me. no hope of a future, less chance of getting hurt, right? at least, that's what i keep telling myself...

as for the girls, it's not your fault that things went that way. but you might want to think about why this pattern keeps repeating itself. maybe you're subconciously self-sabotaging, too. or maybe not, just a thought.
 
I know I'm not "turning" anyone. I just wonder if it's something I subconsciously puck up on and am attracted to.
 
I didn't mean to suggest that you believed you were "turning' anyone gay, sorry, that was insulting . Some people do believe in that sort of thing though

I agree w/ dandy, maybe it's a subconscious thing that feels "safe".
 
I've had ex girlfriends who ended up dating (and getting engaged to) someone who "reminds me of you a lot" according to them. :huh:




Nice to know there are better versions of me out there. :lol:
 
A lot of people date people that they feel won't work out so that they are comfortable with the result

If you go in expecting to fail, or the realtionship not to work, it makes it easier to let go, and more of a surprise to get it to work out,.


My father is so stupid -- he dates the worst people, and then expects them to change or something.


I find he is one of those people who loves to be in a postion where it's impossible to make a decision. He can't stay in it, he can't wait to get out.


He's dated at least two women who were bi.
And at least one of them turned completely homosexual



In my opinion, if you don't have a working relationship, that's because you don't know how to have on. Either by selecting your partner, or by your own personal state of being.

I get the feeling that people just assume relationships will work because 'two people like each other"


and that is such a pantload.
 
:rant:

sorry, I'm in such a rant mood becasue I'm trying to get back on track in my own world



But to continue,


First, happiness is a state of mind.
If you just want an emotional high, for all that matters, go buy some cigarattes.

Be with someone because you want to be with someone, not because you want to feel good.



--------
eh, sorry, that was sort of... unneccesary


But most people tend to be attracted to the same kind of person throught their life.



For instance, my father..... my mother is a Sagatarius, and so was my Stepmother. So to is his current gilfriend.


People you like and people you love are not often the same.


That notion of familiarity can be misleading, because sometimes you are just used to being treated a certain way.






but remeber, if you want something different, you must take different actions.
 
Actually, most of the girls I date are not alike at all. Some have had academic aspirations, some have been content to loaf, some were more persistant than I was in the relationship, some have been more reserved, and the superficial stuff like musical interests have varied greatly. I'm a Pisces. Colleen is a scorpio, but I've also dated a Taurus, another Pisces, a Gemini, and a Sagitarius. I really don't care much one way or the other about astrology, but I do find its description of Pisces to be fairly close to my personality.
 
I had four consecutive roommates in college who all came out in the years following graduation. :hmm:
 
Hmm, I see.


For the record, my dad was a Pisces too.

----------------------


I don't know, but this is an intersting subject...


I know 2 girls who I've been close to that are at least bi......
and I can imagine a 3rd one going that way, too....
 
..... hmmm



Just don't give your money away too easily...
Or be a people pleaser....


Well, I won't get into it here.
 
For Honor said:
..... hmmm



Just don't give your money away too easily...
Or be a people pleaser....


Well, I won't get into it here.
Click to expand...

In the past that hasn't really been a problem for me. Most of the relationships I've been in, at least the two good ones, worked fine and were very much reciprocal. They ended because of distance issues more than anything else. I don't know why I felt so compelled to spend money on Colleen. I guess I was foolishly trying to buy her love, even if I didn't realize it then.
 
It's a reflex. My dad is the same way. It's just a .... it's a mechanism or something, I don't know. He has a horrible sense of forgiveness, and he feels like buying stuff for someone, and them accepting it, is like a way to get them to like you.



Distance sucks, though!
I know about it, personally, at least a little bit :(


But, hey, UL.... you might not be alone in having it be time to move on. I'm not sure yet, but I might be in the same boat...
 
Well, in this society, we are trained to never be alone. To want to have that permanent relationship. We are made to feel guilty for NOT wanting to have a permanent relationship. So those people who want to be alone, who don't really want to be in a relationship, find ways to appear to be in a relationship, even if it isn't what they really want.
UL, you might want to ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship, or do you want companionship whout permanency.
 
I actually had one ex-girlfriend become a lesbian :hmm: ....funny I never really thought about it that much though.
 
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