Yesterday was my second actual date with this really amazing guy. He invited me over to his apartment for the first time. When I got there, I was so painfully skittish. I was very paranoid and nervous that he was going to do something bad to me...like rape me or kill me. I just could not get over it. The first four hours of the date were basically ruined because basically every time he'd put his arm around me, I'd start shaking like a leaf. He knew I was tense, and he would whisper compliments and sweet things to try to get me to relax, but they just made me even more uptight because I thought he was just saying those things to lull me into a false sense of security so he could strike when I least expected it. He put his hands on me from behind, and I thought he was gonna grab me and shove me in a closet or something, but all he was doing was giving me a back massage. He'd tell me I was beautiful and sweet and deserved to be happy and have a good time, and with each thing said, I would panic even more. I ended up crying in front of him. We had a big talk about it, and I could tell he was frustrated...as was I. I stayed around for another few hours, and that time seemed to go really well. He cooked dinner, we danced, and we watched a movie. It doesn't seem like he wants to see me again though. Basically, I completely blew it with a great guy because I'm too paranoid to believe that a guy can be nice to me and still have good intentions. I'm so used to guys just being jerks, and I keep having flashbacks to that guy trying to abduct me earlier this year. I just can't relax.
At this rate, I'm gonna be alone forever. I feel like a complete freak.
At this rate, I'm gonna be alone forever. I feel like a complete freak.
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Maybe give him a call and tell him what you told us. Any guy worth the oxygen he breathes will understand where you're coming from.
