Tips for a long distance relationship

[Purplereign]

They almost never work...People grow apart, someone else slips into your place, people get sick of being alone at night and want that connection again.

Take a break from school and go out there with her until she's finished...

never would have picked you as an old softie ( ha! ) - love that last sentence!


and cjboog, good luck

 

[Steved1998]

never would have picked you as an old softie ( ha! ) - love that last sentence!


and cjboog, good luck

shhhhhhhhhh

 

[last unicorn]

I experienced it twice in my life. It's tough, much tougher than I had expected. Being such a freedom loving person who has always been so used to doing everything on her own, I thought it would be easier, but it wasn't. Emotions are tough. However, it was a great process of learning so much about yourself. Trust is the keyword. I found out you appreciate little things so much more. I've never had a relationship where I was seeing the other one every day because I didn't need to and I didn't want to. I feel imprisoned very easily and I don't let go of my personal freedom that fast. I'm an artist, I need time for myself. That's why I appreciate relationships that don't have the aspects of everyday life which, as we all know, can ruin a relationship after a while. Still, there was always something missing, like little moments that you wish you could share with that person but he wasn't there. I guess everyone has their way of coping with it and it highly depends on people's personality, but it's also a maturing process and it can work if you put in enough effort. For a LDR, I found out, you need more effort than for any other relationship. And there is a lot of joy, too, like when you're meeting again or seeing each other again after some time. Nothing comes close to that. I wish you all the best

 

[bono_man2002]

They almost never work...People grow apart, someone else slips into your place, people get sick of being alone at night and want that connection again.

Thats a bit of a depressing.

A little update from the original post:

I wrote a letter and read it to my girlfriend in person when she visited. It went over very well. We are going to start writing letters back and forth as a way to feel better connected.

I also had a long talk with her about all the concerns I mentioned in the original post. I DEFINITELY feel better having talked about everything fully. We talked about long term commitment, daily communication, trust issues with other people, honesty, and trying to be happy despite being temporarily apart. We were on the same page about pretty much everything, and are compromising in the areas we are not.

If you are in a long distance relationship I definitely recommend taking the time to go through all of your wants and expectations with your partner and let them know if you are struggling with things. I can tell you I feel much better. Because she has been such a major part of my life for so long, it's going to be hard to work on feeling happy and fulfilled when she's not around. BUT - If you are freaked out by worries that you haven't fully talked about - it will drive you crazy until you do!

Also I would say don't leave anything left unsaid. I was fairly certain that my girlfriend and I were on the same page about commitment, etc. but I felt so much better laying it all out there and hearing her lay it out as well. This is what is working best for my situation anyways - when we have been together for a long time and plan to make it through a set amount of time spent apart.

Thanks again for all of the helpful advice! I hope if anyone else is going through this, the comments and stories here will help.

Well I was in a long distance relationship (LDR for you younglings) for about 4 and half years before it all eneded terribly.......with a marriage about two and half weeks ago

I used to be able to see her while were long distance every weekend. It was a good three hour drive down on a Friday night and a three hour drive home on a Sunday night (or occasionally get up at 5am on a Monday morning, to get to work just on time.) We did exactly what you guys have just done, get things out in the open. Communication is a wonderful thing, If I have learned anything at all in the last two years (my parents are just divorcing) that communication is key. Seems as though you both working at it though