Those 3 words...

[Sevikins]

Seems kind of arbitrary but I wonder if many feel the same way that I do. I've been dating my guy for about a year close to two and everytime we talk on the phone, he always insists on saying those 3 words [I love you]. I don't really like saying it all that much because since I've been doing it, those words have lost meaning to me. It seems more of a chore now to say those words when we hang up. I much rather say it when it's necessary, or when the time is right instead of all the time.

Does this make me seem heartless? Or does it show his insecurity?

Shed some light on this for me folks.

 

[indra]

It could be just differences in the way you express yourselves. Some people are really demonstrative and others aren't.

You should do whatever you want to do and not be pushed into doing what anyone else wants you to do.

 

[greeneyedgirl]

i had never told anyone that i loved them until i met my husband.
we had just started to date and he went away for a family vacation. he would call long distance every night and said "i love you" at the end of each call.
i thought it was kind of cute, but uncomfortable at the same time. it wasn't that i didn't love him, but it was a new thing for me. i was 16, my boyfriends lasted 2 wks, i didn't LOVE them.
but, telling someone that you love them should not be a "chore".
if you have been together for almost 2 yrs, you should be able to talk to him about this. he may not even be expecting you to say it back to him. it may be just part of his goodbye, have a nice day, see you tomorrow, i'll talk to you later......
in any case, only you know when you will be able to say those 3 little words without delay or struggle, anywhere and anytime.
can you ask him about it?
hope this helps, hon

 

[BVS]

Maybe you don't really love him anymore.

 

[Sevikins]

telling someone that you love them should not be a "chore".
if you have been together for almost 2 yrs, you should be able to talk to him about this. he may not even be expecting you to say it back to him. it may be just part of his goodbye, have a nice day, see you tomorrow, i'll talk to you later......
in any case, only you know when you will be able to say those 3 little words without delay or struggle, anywhere and anytime.
can you ask him about it?

You know, I never really gave the thought that it would be his regular thing like saying goodbye. The thing is that he expects me to say it back also, which I'm trying to work in the point that I don't want to do it b/c it's just unnatural for me to attach those words like any ordinary words.

Maybe you don't really love him anymore.

No, I do love him, it's just that I have a problem w/those words, that I just don't give them out with every side order of fries ordered.

 

[Mr. BAW]

Saying, "Love you too" wouldn't kill you, even if you didn't mean it as wholehearted as your man...I mean, I'm sure you love him as a friend, human being, pal...so you're not really lying...one day, he'll notice your not saying it, then what...

 

[Liesje]

Seems kind of arbitrary but I wonder if many feel the same way that I do. I've been dating my guy for about a year close to two and everytime we talk on the phone, he always insists on saying those 3 words [I love you]. I don't really like saying it all that much because since I've been doing it, those words have lost meaning to me. It seems more of a chore now to say those words when we hang up. I much rather say it when it's necessary, or when the time is right instead of all the time.

I think I'm kinda the same way. Me and my bf (who sometimes posts here and will probably read this an add his two cents) have kind of a "reversed" relationship b/c he's the more sensitive one and he always is the one to say "I love you" during a goodbye. Me...I dunno, I just think a goodbye is a goodbye and it's not that I don't LIKE to say it or don't feel the same way, I'm just the type of person where if I'm saying "bye" to a person I'll see or talk to in the next 12-24 hours, it doesn't even cross my mind to say "I love you".

 

[carrieluvv]

ive been married 11 years..andmy husband says i love you all the time...
at first i thought it was his insecurity that drove him to say it all the time.
or maybe he just loves me THAT much..hard to believe...
but i think how id feel if he stopped saying it!
talk about insecure!
when it is irritating sometimes...i say i love you too..and then get up in his face for a sweet kiss and then give him a big sloppy face lick...hehehe it'll make the moment seem less serious and sentimental

 

[Sevikins]

^^
I just wanna say a big thanks for all that. ^_^

 

[greeneyedgirl]

when he says " i love you"
can you say " i love your smile"?
that way you're saying it in a sneaky sort of way.

 

[Laura M]

when he says " i love you"
can you say " i love your smile"?
that way you're saying it in a sneaky sort of way.

I would be really hurt if my boyfriend of 2 years said he loved my smile after I told him I loved him on the phone. As Mr Baw said, it shouldn't kill you to say I love you. It doesn't mean he is insecure if he tells you he loves you, maybe he just wants you to know and it's part of his habit when calling you.

 

[Macfistowannabe]

What made those three words lose meaning to you?

 

[AcrobatMan]

whenever he says " i love you"

you say " i lust for you "



what am i getting for a great suggestion

 

[Sevikins]

What made those three words lose meaning to you?

I don't know, it's just that saying that word constantly loses its meaning, kinda like on the internet when you say "lol." First few hundred times was okay but now it's just like .

 

[Sevikins]

whenever he says " i love you"

you say " i lust for you "



what am i getting for a great suggestion

Good one! I gotta try it one day.

 

[Macfistowannabe]

I don't know, it's just that saying that word constantly loses its meaning, kinda like on the internet when you say "lol." First few hundred times was okay but now it's just like .

It's probably something you can adapt to again. It's sort of like saying "hi" or "what's up" when you answer the phone.