For Honor
Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS
(note: reading this post is optional. If you have something on your mind, go ahead and post it. i don't really expect anyone to read all of what I wrote - Ididn't expect that much to come out
)~Hello, Hello~
Happy Holidays!
Yes, it's mid November, but.... this new thread kicks off with the first snowfall here, where I am in NY (the photo was taken early in the morning, in the dark). Fitting? Maybe. Nevertheless, a new thread has begun. Now, I don't know exactly where it will go, but if people have been following the first thread, it will follow the same pattern. But it's not exclusive to just two people, anyone can chime in. Maybe this thread will turn into a sort of ZC general discussion? I don't really know. I guess, just like elsehwere, "don't expect, suggest".
To keep with the more serious tone (?), I'll start off with this topic, because it has been on my mind a lot, and if I was to start a ZC thread, this is what it would be about:
I've come to a point where I really don't want a lot of things. I'm young, yeah, but nevertheless, I am at this point. I know soulsearching is a never ending endeavor, yet I really am at a loss. Going to college in a January, it has seemed like things have been on hold for a long time, but I don't think that will change when I get to college. Yeah, I'll be more busy, but, my only real motivation will be getting work done, and finding something I like to get a degree in, and most likely trying to get a good job, so I can raise a family. Typical, I guess. And while there is nothing wrong with that... it makes me wonder.
Those things are the socially acceptable path to follow, the common path, and as I said, there is nothing wrong about that. Coming from a very philosophical perspective, though... I am struggeling to find "things that matter". When Iwake up, it's just...... blank. Everyday is spent waiting for the next - waiting all day f or night to come, almost. But, to continue with Red Hill Town, I've got nothing I'm hanging on to. I don't have a town, I'm rather disconnected from my family, I don't have a goal I'm really striving for, like on the deep down souly level.
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wow, I just looked back at the first page of the original thread....
There are some similarities... there is a lot of the same feeling, but refined, yet some things are so much different.
Comparing February 17 2005 to now...
I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. (a recent thread about that was in ZC). But that is a huge difference, and it is just amazing. When I was walking in NYC in the summer, it was so different from the last time. Last year, I was overwhelmed, not so much with the people, the number of people, but more so how I should act, how I should go about being myself in that sitaution.
I suppose it could be called confidence. I am a lot more confident in myself these days, because I *know* myself, and I know my philosophy - I have predetermined defaults as to what is right and wrong, and I'm just comfortable with who I am, and why I am that way.
Wow, so many directions to take that.
Well, I'll just finish up for now with this...
Over this last year and a half, in both personal experience, and witnessing other people's experiences firsthand, I'm holding some rather controversial thoughts about this thing called "love"
There are so many angles, but I'll just state the one that is on my mind as of late: that is...... that love is really a mental thing. Not so much mental, as in "head", but more so as in "brain". I say it like this, and probably won't be able to explain it well, but..... I say this because ... even though relationships take two people, I think love only really takes one. You can love someone without the other person even knowing it, you can love from afar, without seeing, or hearing. It can be done.
The thing of it is... though initlally someone may introduce you to love, and the experience of love, it is you that keeps it alive. LIke a flame or a candle, maybe, being passed on to other people. I wonder..... if people are born being able to love, or if it is something that is learned? well, I won't go there yet. But anyways...
for me, personally, I've come to understand (and maybe this is just myself), but... there is a certain ''love switch" that I have. I know that sometimes you can't stop loving someone, and I admit I have some of that in my system. But really.... there's something else. There's.... there is this internal thing, and it's completely self generated. because, when someone you love is far away, or not with you, why and how is it that you think of them lovingly?
Most of it, to me, seems to be a conflict between the "primal" tendency to "cling" to things, and the intelectual awareness of reality. BUt like........
How can someone say they are in love, when they have never seen, heard, spoken to, or touched the person they love?
As of late, I am really studying this... thing....
How love comes from the inside.
Saying it like thatsounds simple, or even obvious. But.... I don't know...
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Love is such a strange topic...
How about the WINTER olympics, baby! 2006.
WHere are they going to be held? In China? I always like the olympics.
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I guess that's somewhat of an assortment of thoughts.
My hope? I actually have realized that I do have a hope, it's kind of 3 folded, though.
1 - that the world learns how to coexist and come together, and we can function as a whole human race, instead of divisions against each other. We have so m uch potential...
2 - That I can do the same thingwith another person. I wonder how many kids, or at least guys my age, think about things like marriage. Not just "marriage", but the actual dynamics of relationships, a true bond between myself and someone else. Such a subject fascinates me...
3 - To learn how to be content without anything; self mastery, perhaps. This smacks of Buddhims and things, but... I don't seek "enlightenment", just some sort of understanding, I guess. In onesense, this is kind of the flipside of 1&2. But whatever.
The 4rth, and hidden one, is to enjoy life, and remember that every day is an adventure, and no matter how boring it is, it is life, and there is so much going on no matter what. Enjoy it and take an interest in it, and if I want an adventure, then make it happen.
So I guess those are my "hopes".........
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What makes life worth living to you, what are your hopes, or dreams or ideals, what do you live for?
and as always, thanks for reading. I don't know what will become of this thread, but making this first post is better than not doing anything at all. Cheers
I have a great weakness for snow/winter..... well, I guess it's not a weakness...... more a..... a............ adoration, fascination, perhaps....
I don't quite get it. You don't see the walls when the lights are out. hahahaha I mean, really..... I don't see what the big deal is. It's unusual, but... I don't know. I don't see things the way others do, so, don't mind me too much
for your signature...
