The Second Thread - - an assortment of thoughts + "a new hope..."

[For Honor]

thank you

My stepmother gave me the best Christmas gift I've received in a long time yesterday - my first photo album. For when I go away and stuff.

It is really great..... not only pictures, but like, she put a lot of notes and stuff in there from herself - I even saw a post card in there with the address to the house here on it, so I can just send it to her and it's all set for me to write on and everything. It is such an impressive gift....

The more I look at it the more impressed I become, and i know it will only get better over time. I feel kind of limited in saying thankyou for it - I kind of want to say it in another way. (I'm not really good at expressing things like that) in addition, I seldom come across an oppertunity where I really impressed with something like this.

I mean...... it is a wonderful gift in terms of someone thinking of me and wanting to give me a gift and such..... but...... beyond that, and, what really takes it to another level..... is the quality of everything. I've never had someone hand me a full photo album with pictures from all of my life in it before..... It's really an impressive and cool thing. And I'm quite flattered that someone would do something for me.

Initially, when I heard that I was going to get a photo album, I thought it was a good idea, but kind of just a typical "Oh, well, that will be nice" kind of reaction. But this is much better than I expected... because it has quality on so many levels.

This is the most sentimental thing anyone has ever given me...
...
I feel very lucky, blessed.


=======
=======

I believe I will take a digital picture of some of the pictures in the photo album. (I've done it before, with other things, and they came out good). Maybe I will post some of them online. Specifically, my summer trip to maine. Some very nice scenerey there....... especially on the ocean............

 

[lady luck]

wow, that's real a great gift
From what you wrote, i can see see put her heart in it and all her affection for you.
It's great the relation you two have.
I'll be happy to see some photo of it

 

[girlhappy]

This, too, and I don't really feel a connection to any sort of home. Everyone has moved, and there is no one location that I feel any ...... connections to.

i am sorry.I can relate to that one. Everyone has moved, in my case, not even physicaly, but...you know...i feel pretty isolated from real life and i dont like it. I dont know if you understand.
No real job, no real love, friends are unstable..... i dont know......
I am spending all day on my own upps, sorry, in company of movie stars on DVD...and i guess i want out of here...

 

[lady luck]

hugh to both of you

Hope one you'll have a family where you feel wanted and appreciated and loved. A family with whom you'll be happy to spend your time and where holidays will be like a gift because you can spend more time than you use to do with them all.

 

[For Honor]

^ I hope so too.....

but for now I'm content with being more or less on my own. I'm not completely indepenant yet... but I don't thinkI'll have a problem with being that way.

I'm not afraid or inexperienced in solitude. SOmetimes it's quite refreshing. However, I don't think I can say I've lived a complete life if I stay in solitude excessively

 

[lady luck]

The snow fell all day long yesterday..
When I got to the office, I had a looked around and it looked like this:

 

[girlhappy]

Oh,lady Luck, it is SO BEAUTIFUL. Its pretty much the same around here. Do you have a happy family? I just read my old diary and i came to the conclusion that i really lost many people in the last few years, close friends mostly. Maybe i should be more independent like FH, but i feel like these relations are the most precious thing to me. I dont even know who is with me any more, you know? I dont know....as we get older i got the feeling there is a less and less true and enthusiastic freindships. I think i need boy/girl relation the most, though. I have deep feelings for my friend who is most likely the gay and he has feelings for me,but we are getting nowhere, you know!I am 32 and i need something more than lovely walks from time to time. I think independence is really hard to achieve when you are out of job. I think if i had a job i really like i would be much stronger.Now i feel much more vulnerable and dependent in a way. I dont know if you undestand. The only thing i really have to rely on is a hope, i guess.

 

[For Honor]

Not to be harsh, or anything...

but if you go about things in that way - feeling you are only going to be satisfied when you have a solid boy/girl relationship, then you are leaving things out in the open, and all you will have is hope.

There is no right or wrong way to live, though. And I can respect that way of living. At least, for me, right now, I can't afford to be that way.


I'm kind of glad I'm not, too, because several of the people I come across who are that way are quite........... .......... ........ unhappy, sort of. Eh... but I guess i'll just stop now. There is no reason for me to go any further in the directino I was going to take this.

 

[girlhappy]

I am not sure i understand FH
i didnt say relationship is only thing that makes me happy. i just think it is like..natural. I dont even think i am ready for relationship right now Bacause there is too much confusion and to be honest: i am afraid of relationship anyways

 

[For Honor]

relationships are very interesting things...

 

[For Honor]

Nice photos, lady luck. The middle one strikes me the most

 

[lady luck]

Oh,lady Luck, it is SO BEAUTIFUL. Its pretty much the same around here. Do you have a happy family? I just read my old diary and i came to the conclusion that i really lost many people in the last few years, close friends mostly.

I won't say I live in a happy family -- we're ok, but don't have much in common. And I am happy I'm stepping out of that house.
I am so sorry you had so many loss in this period -- I can't tell you that i understand, coz I've never lost someone really important in my life. But I guess I can say that time will help you and made the pain less hard to bear.

Maybe i should be more independent like FH, but i feel like these relations are the most precious thing to me. I dont even know who is with me any more, you know? I dont know....as we get older i got the feeling there is a less and less true and enthusiastic freindships. I think i need boy/girl relation the most, though. I have deep feelings for my friend who is most likely the gay and he has feelings for me,but we are getting nowhere, you know!I am 32 and i need something more than lovely walks from time to time.

Indepencence... yeah, it's my goal from when I was 16 or 17. I need my own space, a place where I can learn to depend just on me.
Me too, I've learned how important the relations between boy & girl can be -- they can gring you happiness & unexpected pain.

I think independence is really hard to achieve when you are out of job. I think if i had a job i really like i would be much stronger.Now i feel much more vulnerable and dependent in a way. I dont know if you undestand. The only thing i really have to rely on is a hope, i guess.

I am lucky on this coz I have a good job, even if it won't last forever, because I work for a small company and my boss could decide to close it if he doesn't want to go on anymore.

Hope must be the guidig light.

Even if you feel weak now, I am sure you're stronger that you can imagine.
You've been through a lot of pain, but you're standing & facing it, even if, of course, you feel discoraged from time to time. That's normal -- who won't feel as you if he/she was living such a hard period!

Hold on! Remember there's always someone, somewhere, looking down on you, and wishing you the best and happiness, joy and peace






Have a nice New Year's Eve and New Year's Day

hugs

Valentina

 

[lady luck]

Nice photos, lady luck. The middle one strikes me the most

I love it me too... I took that shot because it looks like the footprints of a giant!!

 

[girlhappy]

Lady Luck,
Your words always keep me warm arounf my heart.
I also hope you will find new love in the hopefully beautiful New Year. I am listening Oasis right now,Supersonic, i know you like them too. You know, when i hear those songs from mid90s....it just makes me cry you know. Careless youth....Blur, Garbage, Oasis, Suede, Manic Street Preachers.....i love that! I juist feel tenderness toward these bands

 

[girlhappy]

Oh, my speeling...i am not careful with words

 

[girlhappy]

Ups i did it again with spelling,. i have to learn how to be more patient wirth everything including writing
Lady Luck, if you want , i would love to hear all about your breakup with Vlad.How exactly did you dicover he is not sincere? If you dont want to spoil your New Years atmosphere with that I understand....

 

[lady luck]

^ It's not hurtful -- and there's no much to say...
We did not break up actually... But I'm not waiting for anything from him.

I had an e-mail from him on Dec. 6, telling he had always replied to my e-mails and wrote me other messages -- that I didn't get.

I replied to the e-mail, telling him that I didn't want to stop replying to him -- so if he didn't get news from me, that meant that I hadn't got his.

More than two weeks passed and I didn't see a word.
I send him an e-card wishing Merry Christmas and got the receipt saying he read it.
This happened on Dec. 23

He did not write back. Not oneword.
It would have taken him a minute...

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day passed.
I have hoped that he would have phoned or sent an sms.
He never did it before -- never called me, even if he said a lot of times he would have called.
I thought he could have done it for Christmas. I was not asking for two-hour-phone conversation... But me phone didn't ring.

As I went to sleep, on Christmas Day, I felt really blue... because I was realising what every one told me: this isn't a relation and I'd better forget about it.

I don't know the mysterious reason why a man in his 30s lies to a girl living on the other side of the world... But it seems clear that's what he did.
He said he cared for me, he said he loved me and I would always be an important person in his life -- He had 2 phone numbers, 2 mail adresses and the e-mail of a friend of mine. He could have got in touch, if he wanted.
He didn't.

I've been sincere with him in a way that has surprised me. I felt an attraction toward him that I've never felt before for anybody else, both phisically and toward his way of being.

He knew very personal things about me that I haven't told to anyone before. (Nothing so shocking -- just the sort of things that you want to tell just to someone that's really special for you)

He knew what this "story" meant to me -- especially because it's the closest thing I ever had to a relationship.

And that's the reason why I was so blue -- I was almost there... and then all faded away.

That's all.
Sorry it took me such a long post even if there's so little to say


Again -- Happy New Year's Day to you all

 

[For Honor]

Yes, happy new years to all.



I just got back from my last day of "christmas celebrations" It's nice to be tired at about midnight, for once. Normal sleeping schedule.

I'm doing a re-evaluation of myself right now....................
I'm acting a little............ well, I'm just going over some things I guess, to make sure I'm being the best me I can be.

Impatience.......
Everyone around me calls me the most patient person they know, but in some ways I'm losing it, and I don't want that. I'm rushing around, even here on line, and making things that are not "jobs" into things I feel like I'm working for. A different form of impatience..... but I'm just.....re-evaluating, like I said. A fitting time for such things, I suppose....

 

[girlhappy]

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am soooo happy this year is finally over!!!!!!!!
I wish you all the best!

 

[For Honor]

 

[lady luck]

Not really a nice writing, but I just wished to say Happy New Year everyone!

How was your New Year's Eve & Day?

 

[girlhappy]

I was dancing in my favourite night club and it was fine.I was with two friends. it was nothing special.Oh,it was,the Discotheque

 

[lady luck]

I am so happy you spent it out and in a cheerful mood!

 

[girlhappy]

And how did you spend it, sweetie?And how about you FH?
Yes, i was really cheerful. Music was...mix of 8os like..Electric dreams, Nena, The victory of love by Alphavile(one of my favourites ) and...some of the great new bands like Killers etc. and some of old indie stuff.I love that! It is alternative club in the woods so it was romantic to watch fireworks

 

[For Honor]

Mine was okay. Nothing special, though I appreciate you asking.

I am glad to hear everyone else has had a good time.

 

[lady luck]

My NYD was very nice -- I was in a private house, just outside Turin, the town that will host next Winter Olympic Games.
There really was a ton of people around. Everyone was in a party mood, and so was I.

There was a lot of great music -- from the 80s to contemporary -- and one of the guys did the dj for us ... well, he's actually a dj and he looked so exctided to do that! He's really good and mixed the music fantastically.

Unfortunately we didn't see a lot of fireworks -- just something in the distance...

Usually, I don't feel so good when I am surrounded by too many people but on NYD everything was ok. There were a lot of unknown people, but everyone was friendly and getting in touch with the others.

From the moment they put "The dancing queen" on, I thought that was the time to show everyone that I am the dancing queen -- Not to talk about when Madonna's "Hung up" was played... That is the perfect song for a party!!!!

I have danced a lot, like never before. I am still a lil exhausted...

 

[girlhappy]

I am glad you had such a great celebration,lady Luck! I wanted to aks you ...do you like Taize?When youth form all of the Europe meets? I think it was in Milan this year?Am i right?

 

[lady luck]

uhm, I don't know what you're talking about...

I had a yahoo search for Taize and I found something about about Frère Roger but I never heard about it...

 

[girlhappy]

Oh, its the religious meeting for young people from Europe.It has special prayers, they are very beautiful. People are sleeping in the schools, or in the families.And they are all around the town so you cant miss them: You really didnt hear about it?

 

[girlhappy]

Seeing the Church in a new light – as a leaven of reconciliation between all people
Discovering the beauty of prayer in song and in silence
Five days with young adults from all over Europe and beyond
Understanding the people of another land and another culture more deeply
Welcomed by families and Christian communities in Milan

Yes,it was Milan!You really didnt see the bunch of young people walking around It s a shame beacuse it is beautiful sight!
Notes from above are form officail Taize page. i was at Taize meetings twice.Both times in Germany.It was unforgettable.It was cold, and you have to be on the street the whole day because the scool is not opening before 7 p.m. but still....it is something you have to experience even though you are not religious!