Tell me how depressed I should be...

[theSoulfulMofo]

I'm kinda bored and depressed. I dunno.

Thought you guys might help me gain some perspective on things.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Dude, I gotta be blunt.

You've gotta pull yourself out of this depression you're in. It seems as if all of your posts involve this, and it worries me (as I'm sure it does a lot of us here). Only you can be the one to do it; asking us why you should be depressed only adds to things.

I know that's easier said than done, but maybe just seeing someone to talk to would help a great deal. Give it a thought, k?


In the meantime, crank some U2 and look at the positives in life.

 

[Bonochick]

Dude, I gotta be blunt.

You've gotta pull yourself out of this depression you're in. It seems as if all of your posts involve this, and it worries me (as I'm sure it does a lot of us here). Only you can be the one to do it; asking us why you should be depressed only adds to things.

I couldn't agree with you more.

SoulfulMofo, you should check out this thread and realize you are not alone:

http://forum.interference.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=66976

I worry about you...I really do...cuz I know how it is.

I've told you before...PM me anytime.......

 

[daisybean]

I didn't vote...but I know how you feel...I'm still struggling big time with self esteem issues (ask anyone here), that get me really down too. The hardest thing is pulling yourself out of that, because it's a downward spiral. I wish I had some advice, but I'm not really the best authority on this. The only thing I can say, is hang in there...Don't let any negative people influence your thinking. It took me 27 years to figure that one out...I had been surrounded by negative people who liked to pull me down for most of my life. It was like I needed people to "abuse" me, treat me like crap, because it was better than being totally ignored, it was attention. When anyone gave me a genuine compliment, I didn't know how to handle it, either I figured they were joking, or that I was somehow unworthy of being recognized for something postitive. Finally now, I am getting into a place in my life where I am starting to surround myself with people who treat me with respect, and treat me like I have some value in this world. I stopped associating with people who made me the butt of jokes, or used me as a doormat. It's a hard thing to do....cutting ties to people who I thought loved me, but in hindsight, it was the best thing for me.

Wow, I rambled more than I wanted to....

you can PM me anytime



*edited for grammar*

 

[Lemon Meringue]

I'm not gonna vote

Don't be blue.

I don't really know you, but I've seen many of your posts. I enjoy reading them. You have a great sense of humor.

Hang in there. Things will get better! You've got your U2 Interlander pals!

 

[theSoulfulMofo]

It just seems like life isn't gonna get any better, whether I pull myself together or not.

 

[Lilly]

seeing people sad makes me sad

Dawww, my little mofo. Didn't we agree to be limo driver and passenger together and ditch the wedding and drive to happiness? I wouldn't just hop in a limo with ANYONE you know!



All kidding aside, I don't think you've got anything to be depressed about.

Being single? That's nothing to be sad about. I mean seriously, it's nice to be happy with someone, but it is a lot of added stress too.

No job? Join the club. The economy is such shit right now it's hard for even the most skilled people to get a job. Just budget and ride it out.

Don't have friends? Dah, you lie like a Persian rug. I consider a lot of people on this board my friends, and I am richer to have them in my life. And I totally doubt that you haven't got a friend in the world. I mean that.

Don't go out much? Hmm...I'm in college. At a party college. Almost every girl on my floor goes out every night...not I. I stay in, chatting, watching television with my non-drunkslut friends and enjoying my time that I can REMEMBER. (Not to say I don't ever go out, I'm just not interested in getting wasted every weekend.)


So get a cookie, some milk, and be happy you're alive. Get involved in a club or something. That will give you something to do, and people to be with.

 

[Rono]

Hey,....

A sportsclub ? Volunteer work ? Both helped me out of my depression. You will meet a lot of interesting people. Meeting people is knowing people. They could have news about jobs, single girls ,..ect.

Anyway, you could start to read a good book

 

[UltravioletU2]

I know how you feel because I feel the same way.

I also know that you know you need to pull out of it, but can't and don't know how.

I am in the same boat and it's awful.

 

[U2girl]

Forget it - i am not voting in a poll like that, because i can't pick for you and it wouldn't be fair from us to say you should be depressed. (you shouldn't)



No girlfriend? (i know this is a cliche) You have plenty of time to find one.

No job? Same here, you have time - i spent 7+ months looking for my current job. Keep trying!

Not much friends? Well, people are different - some have lots of friends and some have less. But here the quality of friends is more important then the quantity.
I have relatively little friends, but i love spending time with them.

Go out rarely? You mean like going in a club? That's ok, not everyone is into that.
I'm not much of a "clubber" myself either, it's more like SMS/email contact, then catch a movie/get a drink kind of thing with me and my friends.

Boring? Excuse me, but i think you have one of the best and most original usernames on Interference. I mean, soulful + mofo - how often do you see a combination like that?

As for the last thing on your list - sometimes it may seem like that, but there's always something good about life.

 

[theSoulfulMofo]

What if this is as good as it gets?

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

What if this is as good as it gets?

It gets better, trust us.

 

[theSoulfulMofo]

I again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift, and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is bread to the wise, nor wealth to the discerning, nor favor to men of ability; for time and chance overtake them all. Ecclesiastes 9:11

The first part of this verse is famous and popular... but its meaning is usually missed at the end... If time and chance does befall us all... what if one's life is only going to be filled with misfortunes and misery?

 

[Bonochick]

Please Don't Think I'm Being Harsh, But...

You know what is frustrating?

I've seen you post several times about feeling like this...but you never say anything about WANTING to change things...about WANTING to reverse these feelings and be happy...

If anything is going to happen...you have to WANT it. Trust me.

 

[martha]

Re: seeing people sad makes me sad

So get a cookie, some milk, and be happy you're alive.

Take this quiz:

Has anyone you loved died within the last year? yes no

Do you have an incurable/chronic, painful disease? yes no

Do you live on the sidewalk? yes no

Do you regularly go hungry? yes no


If you can't answer yes to any of these questions, then you have two options, and two options only:

1. Get over it and focus on someone other than yourself!!!!

2. Go to a doctor, get a complete physical workup, get yourself some antidepressants, and get on with your life.

I'm playing hardball with you SM because I liked you when I met you, but this has been going on too long and way too publicly. You need to get a handle on this problem. Of course you don't have a girlfriend. No girl wants to go out with a boring, depressed guy. When I met you, you were a nice guy who wasn't boring. What the hell happened? Suck it up and change yourself and your life. We can't do it for you.

Go on, do it. We'll wait right here. We have time. Go on.

 

[Lilly]

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it: "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied: "My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

if you want Biblical, then take this.

 

[Angela Harlem]

What if this is as good as it gets?

What indeed, if it is? Is it really that bad? You are focusing on all the things you DONT have, and may not ever have. I'm not saying you will be single or unemployed forever, but you may never become the type who has a full and raging social life, you may never become a social butterfly...but dont you think you would be doing that kind of thing already if that was who you really were? I dont go out much, I used to, back when pubs were fun and getting drunk and playing pool in bars with mates was a great night out. But its not fun anymore, I'm not a clubber, I go to a local GC occasionally, but that is because it is a place to sit down and have a quiet drink with never more than about 4 other people. They dont play loud music, its not filled with teenyboppers who couldn't be less like me. I am this antisocial because it is who I am. Going out every weekend will not fullfill me.
I have had only a handful of jobs that have made me happy. Getting the right career now I doubt will change a great deal in my life. Work is something I do not aspire to make huge part of my life. I look at the other things in life for my happiness. I have to, because working 9-5 will never be what I need it to be. Instead it is just my tool for paying my bills, buying groceries, the occasional night at the GC.
I am married as you may or may not know, and if God forbid I lost that, I would feel like killing myself. Life would not seem worth it anymore. A relationship IS a terribly important aspect of may people's lives. But if I DID become single for whatever reason, that would still be the only changed thing in my life. The depression I would feel over that is a matter of perspective. The absence of one of our key life aspects, such as a relationship, is not the whole of our lives. It is but one part. Take it away, or not have acquired it, and we feel less fullfilled. But we aren't. Its unfortunate that we cannot contain depression to fit the cause. Such negative feelings over one aspect blanket everything else. We cannot contain those emotions to just that, it envelopes it all. But it doesn't mean it is all bad.
Honestly, why do you think you are boring? What about what others think of you? I dont think everyone here has replied out of sympathy. There are a lot of people here who find you interesting in some way. People here like you. If you are somehow different in real life, hard as it may be, start showing more of the real you and others in your life will respond how they do here. Honestly mofo, I dont think you are as boring as you believe. Remember we never really know how others see us, we may think we are particularly dull or whatever, but that doesn't mean that feeling is shared by those around us.
Stop and think for a while of what is good. Make those things bigger. Make them take up more room in your life. That is something you can do more easily in some cases, than those things that are bad and you can't control.

 

[theSoulfulMofo]

Re: Re: seeing people sad makes me sad

Has anyone you loved died within the last year? pending.

Do you have an incurable/chronic, painful disease? my mom has parkinsons.

Do you live on the sidewalk? no

Do you regularly go hungry? no

but this has been going on too long and way too publicly.

Is my exasperating presence that apparent here in the forums? ... Most of the time, I've felt I've kept a lot to myself, especially the particulars.

Alright, I'll learn how to shut up.

 

[Sicy]

Is my exasperating presence that apparent here in the forums? ... Most of the time, I've felt I've kept a lot to myself, especially the particulars.

Alright, I'll learn how to shut up.

Dude.. that's not what they're trying to do here.. they're trying to help you! Dont shutup, TALK ABOUT IT, listen to what people are telling you, they have good advice!

 

[daisybean]

Yes, life does get better. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but like BC said you have to WANT to make it better.

Like everyone else has said, we want to you to be better.

what if one's life is only going to be filled with misfortunes and misery?

It's all in how you deal with it....Yes, it gets me down that I don't have a job in the field I went to school for...but it pays my bills, and I really love what I'm doing, and hopefully in a few years I can afford to go to grad school.
Yes, it gets me down that I don't have a boyfriend in my life...but after my last few boyfriends, being single is the better alternative.

I know those aren't the best examples, but you need to put a positive spin on the negative things in your life.

I really don't have much else to offer except that everyone here is right.....I wish things were better for you. Everyone is signifigant and important in this world....I know it's lame but seriously watch "It's a Wonderful Life".....not only is it a good movie, but it always makes me realize that there are no nobody's, because there will always be someone around that loves you.

 

[martha]

Re: Re: Re: seeing people sad makes me sad

Alright, I'll learn how to shut up.

No, learn how to deal with it better and more productively.

 

[U2girl]

OK, consider this: to be fair, you should make a list of good things about your life too. And then focus on the good stuff.

I don't know how much this will apply to your situation: the way i am usually about the future is often totally insecure or nervous or too negative for my own good.
For example, i was very insecure about my current internship and the English class i'm taking now. I thought "how am i gonna do this both?" or "is my English good enough?", "is this gonna work?", "will i mess up and get fired at work?" etc... before it was even "am i ever gonna find a job?"

And you know what? Almost any big thing that was coming up in my life turned out way better than i expected.
Granted, some days are better than others at work, but it sure beats sitting around doing nothing at home. And it's better i make mistakes now than later at a serious career - and it's worth all the work to hear "you did this fast" or "nice work". One of the things i particularly like is also my Dad asked people around if there was a job available, i had job agencies helping me out, but i found the job advertisement on my own - you know, it felt good to know i can do it.
As for the class - it's really easier and WAY more fun than i ever thought it would be, and i can't wait for Wednesdays to go there. When we have a drink break, we even go to this bar together with the class teacher and i (of all people) chat in English with a native speaker. Never thought that would happen.

I guess what i'm trying to say the best things in life come when you least expect them (yes i thought the interview at the internship firm went good, but i didn't think they'd actually pick me), and a lot of things in life tend to be better than you initially thought. (at least with me they do)

Also, one of my favorite things in life is how people i know in real life never stop to surprise me with how well they think of me... you know? It feels really special to receive praise or compliments.

Plus never underestimate hope.

 

[Nate Dogg]

I think you have plenty of friends here......even if we can only be seen in the form of blue letters, assorted 'smileys',and some random pictures(all on a baby blue background)....