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sarah_U27

The Fly
Joined
Sep 7, 2002
Messages
159
Location
Twin Cities
well, I kinda miss my journal, so where am I to go? I enjoy coming on here. I am working on keeping my marriage together & in fact, improving it greatly. This is my huge challenge. It's extremely important---I DO NOT want to leave a heritage of divorce on my children. Furthermore, I really want to love him, even though, at times, I feel resentment and anger etc. unforgiveness. I also see the unlovingness. There's a distance, a wall that has to come down. I couldn't see that before. So, that's an improvement. That said, I have been working very hard, following someone's advice re: prayer and I am 100 times MORE hopeful that this CAN improve. Even though I feel like I made a mistake in marrying him, I am hoping that through in time it will warm up and get better. This is my waking and sleeping prayer. That my heart would change & I'd love him more . . . any and all prayers would be great. It'd be nice if he could change too, but I'm supposed to stay more focused on my inventory. how i relate to him.
 
I'm sure that's tough. I have two siblings who have been through divorces, and it was a traumatic experience for my brother in particular, who had to move back to the States from Italy. Ouch!
 
I hope it works out for the best for you and your family, sarah. I'm certainly not pushing it, and I think you doing well to try to save your marriage, but there are some times where divorce is the best thing, even if it is tramatic. For everyone. Even the children.
 
I've been through ups and downs in my marriage, especially some 10 years ago when my husband suddenly declared he may have fallen in love with another woman. We had awful 3 years, but I decided not give up. Luckily, he was too much of a coward to really start an affair with that other one. At one point I broke down and said I couldn't love him any more, told him I wasn't sure I could trust him. That really shook him. What's more, the woman proved to be a manipulative cheat who basically used men to boost her career. He was neither the first nor the last one. Anyway, we've been married for 19 years now and I can honestly say that things have never been as good as they are now. My husband says it's only thanks to me that he finally came to his senses and saw through all her scheming and he's really grateful to me for shaking him up and waking him up from that coma. However, I've had my share of suffering and that changed me. But it also made me stronger, also in his eyes. He knows I can perfectly well cope without him, and if anything happened he would be the one losing more.
Yes, things can improve if we really want them to, but it does take time and effort. You need to be a fighter, a determined person, confident that what you're doing is good for you. But if nothing can be changed, then it's true: it's better to suffer the trauma of divorce than to treat your chidren to a lifetime of lies and cheating.
 
:hug: Just do what is best for you. Cuz only you can decide that. It came down to me saying to myself..'Do I really want to live this way"? Answer" I deserve better than this!" So, fast forward, now I have met a really sweet guy, and I am happy for MY decision. Good Luck sarah!
 
thank you you guys are so sweet:D

ha ha ha
Its like im Dorothy from Wizard of Oz...I attract men who are either cowards, have no heart or a brain
:wink:
 
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