Sometimes I think I'm too nice.

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U2democrat

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So, there's this girl in my suite who is the sweetest, but most socially awkward/inept person I know. I feel like I'm in middle school talking to her as she goes on about anime, anime fan fiction, video games, etc.

I'm the only one with enough patience remaining to have conversations with her, and because of that she latches on to me and thus it never ends.

She's very nice, but also really strange and really wears me down. The other girls I live with thank me for being so good with her, and I feel bad that I'm just about the only one who gives her the time of day, but as she talks to me I'm doing this in my head :banghead:.

Basically I just need some words of encouragement to help my patience last longer :wink:
 
It will give you practice in listening to your constituents and fellow legislators go on and on about nothing. If nothing else, you will become very well-versed in anime. Don't think of it as charity. Think of it as a learning experience.
 
BonosSaint said:
It will give you practice in listening to your constituents and fellow legislators go on and on about nothing. If nothing else, you will become very well-versed in anime. Don't think of it as charity. Think of it as a learning experience.
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:lol:

I've actually thought about it that way...:shifty::nerd:
 
Maybe you could help her overcome her awkwardness. Have you tried talking to her about non-anime things? Have you invited her to a non-anime movie or offered her a non-anime book? Maybe you could try to broaden her horizons so she'll mature some and hopefully won't velcro to you so much.
 
~BrightestStar~ said:
Holy lemon.
This is like deja-vu. In high school I knew a girl who was exactly the same, and I suffered the same fate for being nice.

Your girl's name doesn't stare with an R does it? :ohmy:
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But then you turned a new leaf and elected to no longer be nice. Or so the evidence would suggest. But enough about you!

Here are some words of encouragement:

You're doing a good thing for a person who means well. If she were someone who was cruel or mean, then I'd say you need to stop, but, despite how draining this probably is on you at times, bear in mind that you're being a good person and your kindness hopefully will not go forogtten by this girl. And maybe it'll impact your other suitemates in ways you cannot even predict right now. I think you're great for being the way you are with her.
 
No spoken words said:



You're doing a good thing for a person who means well. If she were someone who was cruel or mean, then I'd say you need to stop, but, despite how draining this probably is on you at times, bear in mind that you're being a good person and your kindness hopefully will not go forogtten by this girl. And maybe it'll impact your other suitemates in ways you cannot even predict right now. I think you're great for being the way you are with her.
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Couldn't have said it better myself.

I too suffer from being "too nice" quite often in real life(I know I may come off as confrontational in here sometimes, but I'm not like that at all in real life).

I'll tell you a story that may help.

In high school there was this girl, who bless her heart just was handed a bad hand during her high school years(and we all know how rough those years are to begin with). She was very very late in hitting puberty, she literally looked and oftern acted like she was in 5th grade. A foot shorter than the shortest person, high pitch voice, had thick glasses, played the trombone and it was taller than her, carried this cutesy lunchbox, and on top of all that had some very overprotective Bible beating parents who sheltered her from everything. She wasn't allowed to listen to any secular music or watch any TV. So the poor girl just couldn't relate to anyone about anything, and was constantly being made fun of, by everyone. But she was one of those girls who either didn't realize everyone was making fun of her or pretended to not care because she was constantly trying to talk to people and be social but mostly ignored. She had one friend who was this girl that was about 6 ft tall very obese and horrible skin. Just a horrible hand to be dealt in life, especially during those years. She and I had several classes together, she was a brilliant girl, just socially akward. Now I would talk to her, even invited her to some church functions thinking that her parents would at least allow that, but apparently my Methodist church was too liberal. It wasn't easy to talk to her, we had very little in common and people would give me a hard time.

To make a long story short 10 years later at our reunion this very pretty girl comes up to me and starts talking to me, I have no clue who it is, so I look at her name tag and it's her. She went through puberty after high school, went off to college and really found herself there, and had lasik surgery. She came up to me and thanked me. Now by no means did I consider myself great friends with this person back then, in fact there were many times when I found her annoying and wished I had it in me to just pretend she didn't exist like so many others did. But she thanked me for being one of the few nice people in what she called the cruelest and most hurtful times of her life. She admitted to me that the only reason she came to the reunion was to kinda "show off" to all those that made her life miserable, but that it was nice to see me and tell me that I made an impact on her life.

It was a very humbling and emotional experience, and I felt like an asshole for all those times that I wanted to just blow her off. I had no clue that just spending a few minutes of akward conversation would have made any impact at all... now I wish I would have done more.

Ok, wow that was long, hope I didn't bore you to death and may offer some help...
 
hey u2democrat good on you for listening, although it may be hard and boring and repetative.

mabey she has Autism or Asperger syndrome? she's trying as hard as she can to be social in the best way she knows how.
 
:angry: is there anything wrong with Anime???


:tongue: watch your step, me and Unico will get you!


:wink:

to me it sounds like she is indeed trying to be social, but perhaps could use some lessons... maybe it's for the best if you'd try to tell her that not everyone is into anime, and perhaps she should try to talk about other topics with people? perhaps topics that interest THEM too instead of just her?
 
Galeongirl said:
:angry: is there anything wrong with Anime???


:tongue: watch your step, me and Unico will get you!
Click to expand...

:hi5: oh it's ON!

does she know of your school's anime club? most colleges have one. she'd be with a community of people who share her interests.

ALSO, i think you should bring her to your YD meetings. RECRUIT!!
 
Keep being just as nice to her, you will never regret it no matter how tough it might feel at times. We all need someone to be like that to us, so why not do it for someone else? We are all strange and awkward in our own ways-some people are just better at hiding it.

When you get older being like that will serve you very well in life, especially when you encounter so many people who are such bastards, to be blunt about it. There will be so many times when you look upon your talks with someone like her with fondness and want to go back to that time and place.
 
It's really nice of you to do. :)

I have a good story for you - we are doing recruitment at the law school now and so they sent us the names of the interviewers who will be coming here. A friend of mine here, who is a very extroverted, for lack of a better word, very popular girl saw the name of one woman from a firm she has an interview with. Turns out that this woman was the big geek in elementary school and my friend essentially shunned her and now she is absolutely mortified to go into that interview.

So you never know when being nice to people will really pay off.
 
Me either. I was afraid it was some GDR (East German) fan club. :ohmy:

I can relate to that situation. Normally I'm too nice to just tell them I'm not interested either. And then you have to listen for ages.

But maybe you can find some topic you could approach her with and you get to talk about other stuff. And if you found her an anime club I'm sure it would be good for both of you.

In Germany we say: You always see each other twice, and I think the English match would be to never burn bridges. I think anitram's story fits perfectly. :)
 
I think you are doing a great thing U2Dem :). A little bit of kindness really does go a long way in life! Im one of those too who will always talk to somebody even if they do irritate me. Just find it hard to blow them off. Was painfully shy in high school so it meant a lot when someone would make the effort to talk to me.

Agree with everyone else see if you can get her interested in other topics. Might find that you guys have something in common!
 
The problem however isn't simply the subject matter, she's just socially inept. I don't know how to describe it, she's hard to have a conversation with regardless of the topic because she is so odd/awkward.
 
Well, like I said, try exposing her to other things. Because this would help her meet other people and help her develop her social skills.

Does she isolate herself a lot when she's not around you? I'm wondering because I am really socially awkward myself, and I tend to stay away from others. Just offer her to hang out with your friends and try to include her in conversations. She might just get over her social problems. And she'll thank you for it. :)
 
elevated_u2_fan said:
Find her a nice boy, I'm sure there are PLENTY of shy, socialy akward guys out there who would kill themselves for a girl who likes Anime and videogames...
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el_fa, are you one of those shy, socially akward guys? Hm? Are you. Awww. :rufflesshishysociallyakwardlil'head:

~BrightestStar~ said:


I'm always nice, just not to you. :kiss:
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:lmao:



:mad: LIES!




U2Dem - Bri is correct - if nothing else, Good Karma for the win. I used to get stuck with people like that too, and it was annoying, but I think you get it back in the long run.
 
I agree it's a nice thing that you've got a lot of patience for her, but disagree you should 'broaden her horizons', or other variants of. In fact, I really disagree with it. I understand she is one of those painful, albeit nice, people, but really... Why does she have to change? Sounds like we all need to be the ones to change to be more tolerant, even of the painfully dorky awkward types. We're not all into what makes for easy social conversations.
 
Angela Harlem said:
Sounds like we all need to be the ones to change to be more tolerant, even of the painfully dorky awkward types. We're not all into what makes for easy social conversations.
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I agree. I think most of us would not want others to feel they should and could change us (unfortunately especially nasty rotten people who really need to change for the better) so how can we think we should change good people who are just awkward in some way? We should extend tolerance to various types of awkwardness too, not just to minorities and other persecuted groups.
 
U2democrat said:
The problem however isn't simply the subject matter, she's just socially inept. I don't know how to describe it, she's hard to have a conversation with regardless of the topic because she is so odd/awkward.
Click to expand...

I had a house mate like that. I'd be watching TV or eating dinner, and then have that feeling that someone is standing behind me, and she'd be there, just standing there. I'd say "hi" and try to talk, but I dunno....there's something about her that's just awkward. We did our best to invite her out with us and include her when we all hung out at home, but she was always kinda strange. I still go out with my other house mates, but after the awkward girl got married, no one hears from her.

Sounds like you already have given your suite mate more time than I did! I would come home from work totally wiped and just want to lay on the couch and veg, not engage in awkward conversation, so I admit there were times she'd ask me something and I'd make it obvious I was not paying attention, just say "mmm" back. I have this talent of being able to deflect people I don't want to talk to at that moment. Phil always comments how many people will interrupt us and talk to him if we are at the store or out for dinner and that I can point out just as many people that I know, but no one ever stops to interrupt me, hehe. :macdevil:
 
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