so this is really funny (unless you're me)

[VertigoGal]

I have a bit of an issue. this loser (sorry) likes me. on like the second day of school I had a brief civil conversation with him in class and thought nothing of it, but since then he's been OBSESSED with me. when I was told he liked me (sounds so high school doesnt it?) I actually was like "who?" I didn't know his name or who on earth he was. I am not a mean person and so I've been nice to him but I have given him no illusions about any possibility of dating him. It's pretty clear by the way I limit my answers to one word that I am annoyed by his existance. every single day in the hall from 2nd to 3rd period he walks up to me and says in an obnoxious voice "hey!! whats going on??!?"...even though we're in the same 2nd period class. he acts like he just randomly stumbled upon me, every single day.

every day, i say "nothing much" and continue listening to my ipod. sometimes this idiot actually REPEATS the question. as if something would've started "going on" since he last asked. sometimes i take the hint and say nothing much followed by a forced "you?" then he precedes to rant to me about his horrible life issues (come the fuck on) about like his friends getting in a fight. i might care if i knew who any of his friends are, who he was, or cared about his life in general. but i don't.

i've given him the cold shoulder to some extent, i'm pretty ugly-not gonna lie there, i don't do anything that would remotely attract him. he knows nothing about me or who i am. and this kid is OBSESSED with me. still.

how do i get rid of him?? it's so awkward and it seems like we always see each other in the halls or end up in situations together (stalker?). and he acts like he expects me to say something. and i have to wait until he leaves to start cracking up/complaining to my other guy friends...because if i even talk to some guy that's not him in his presence he gets all bitchy and next thing you know i'm being told that the whole indian population of my high school has a personal vendetta against me.



ok tis not the end of the world but well any advice would be nice
i was talking to my friend and he said i should send him really sexual kinky texts to scare him off...however i am not sure that is the best idea, i'm almost starting to suspect my friend is messing with me haha

 

[Reggie Thee Dog]

Oh yeah, send him some perverted texts to scare him off Yeah, that ALWAYS works...right.

Look VG, I was that boy once, and my only advice is to be civil but short and curt. At a certain point you're going to have to be blunt, be firm but do it away from other people if possible. School boy crushes can be pretty dramatic whenever they're not reciprocated, so don't be too cruel.

Good luck...High School can be a great time with some bumps along the way.

 

[ntalwar]

I don't see much wrong with what he's doing, especially since it's high school . I was probably like that too.

 

[phillyfan26]

I go out of my way to not be that guy. It has actually isolated me a little bit, my desire to keep others from feeling awkward, to the point where I probably hold my tongue too much.

He probably isn't a stalker and probably has good intentions, but if you really have no interest, then I'd just let him know straightforward, but without embarassing him.

 

[VertigoGal]

ahh it's too late to edit so I'm now forever the bitch that referred to him as a "loser" (god forbid)

really though it's not as if i have no sympathy, I know conversation is sometimes hard to start with a crush...but there's no need to be so damn obnoxious and honestly as horrible and cruel as life is, you've got to learn to take a fucking hint. and it's not as if I'm the love of his life...he doesn't even know me. If he really knew even the tiniest bit of who I was he'd see nothing to like, but that's a whole different topic.

ok this post is pretty much for fun because it's not the end of the world anyway but it's seriously hindering my ability to listen to music on the way to third period, so. yeah.

the sad thing is I don't even want to be "just friends. "I had to correct him and tell him that's what we were when he actuallly referred to me as his girlfriend (!) but I don't even want to be friends because I think he is annoying, irritating, not the smartest guy, and reeking of isms

i'm not as mean as my thoughts, words, and actions imply

 

[vaz02]

get someone really ugly to go out with him.

 

[Reggie Thee Dog]

Well VG, you're not a bitch. You're a high school girl trying to deal with some guy, you're not interested in, who's gotta bigtime crush on you. Trust, ignore him and he'll eventually get the hint. There's no quick fix for this...time will take care of it.

Now if he starts leaving dead animals a 'gifts' then you can start to worry...

Wouldn't it be funny if you ended up married...

 

[Varitek]

Creeep-o if he referred to you as his girlfriend. I'd be pretty concerned. HAha if worst comes to worst I guess you can "break up" with him.

 

[I'm Ready]

just tell him straight up that you don't like him and that it would be in his best interest to leave you alone

 

[Rini]

...if i even talk to some guy that's not him in his presence he gets all bitchy and next thing you know i'm being told that the whole indian population of my high school has a personal vendetta against me...

It sounds to me like the guy has a crush (it may his first) on a living, breathing woman, and he just doesn't know how to handle it. Poor guy.

He's making life uncomfortable for you, which is a pain but tolerable. To find out there's a whole group of people making threatening noises is NOT tolerable. It's not nice, it's not just ignorant, it's wrong and it could be dangerous. What is he telling his friends that make them so hostile? You aren't doing anything odd so maybe he's making things up? Or maybe they're just like him?

This guy just blew any possibility of a decent acquaintance with you in my book. Clumsy is OK and understandable at his young age. Threats are unacceptable at any age (especially to a girl. Now you know what he thinks about honoring women). What else would he threaten you for if you were his friend and didn't meet his other (weird) expectations?

For guys like this who don't take hints, you have to be blunt; but there's the threat thing you have to deal with and balance as well. First of all, I'd tell someone in authority exactly what the threat is. It might not do you any good now, but if he or any of his friends makes a move, you've already established a problem and the authorities can then bust him/them.

Secondly I'd stop speaking to him if you can do that without causing a one-man riot. Scale the relationship down by ignoring him. You don't want to escalate by telling him to get lost so just go deaf. Don't make eye contact. If you can, get some friends to surround you as a physical barrier (yeah, I realize this might not be practical).

Hopefully he'll get tired and pick on someone else when the passion cools off. If he gets pushy, report him and let the authorities deal with his inappropriate behavior - he could get suspended or made to go to another school (sexual harrassment is way illegal and schools are super-touchy about it...especially if you threaten to sue the school).

You don't owe this guy courtesy as he has overstepped the courtesy he owes you. You're a woman who is getting unwanted attention forced on you and you are afraid for your safety (remember these words - they look great in a police report and they have to do something about it). I'd be pretty mad right now if I were you. If I were your mom (and I'm old enough to be) I'd be in the principal's office breathing threats of my own about lawsuits.

Good luck! May some really nice guys discover what a wonderful girl you are!

 

[VertigoGal]

thanks guys

rini- thanks for your concern but i was being slightly sarcastic. no threats were made against me, it's just that his little clique of indians who i used to be friends with shoot me dirty looks now and my friends have overheard them bitching about how mean i am. it's sort of amusing.

and i'm in no way racist i have tons of friends who are brown yellow pink maroon orange magenta et etc...im just too tired to phrase that in a more PC way at the moment.

thanks again for advice- next time i get the chance i will just try to reinforce my lack of feelings for him in an even clearer way if possible

 

[redhotswami]

Wow, he referred to you as his gf? Well then the next step is easy, break up with him, like Varitek said. Hahaha you can have fun with it and make a big scene of it too, just so he has witnesses incase he forgets. High school is all about drama, so play it up!

 

[martha]

thanks again for advice- next time i get the chance i will just try to reinforce my lack of feelings for him in an even clearer way if possible

But if he continues with the harrassment, please let an administrator know that this boy is doing this. They may need to get involved, and the earlier they know about the problem, the better.

 

[No spoken words]

I don't know, to me, the best way to handle it now that you've spent some measure of time being curt and pretty obvious about your disinterest is to pull him aside and in a very direct but not mean way thank him for his interest, but infrom him that you're just not interested in him. That is, if he still is not getting the hint. But, there is no one right way to handle this, which, I'm sure you do not need me to tell you. I've been on the other end of this, too, but always was good at taking hints.

 

[Devlin]

Just say, straightforwardly, "Knock it off. Leave me alone." He can't possibly, unless he has a mental deficiency, misinterpret you. If it helps, have one of your male friends tell him.

 

[UberBeaver]

Just say, straightforwardly, "Knock it off. Leave me alone."

That is so hot. I used to love when chicks said that.


I knew what they really meant.

 

[VertigoGal]

Ohhhhhhhh knock it off?
I thought you said "knock me up"
my mistake, sorry.


is that what you mean ubey?

maybe I will set a male friend on him. it seems so cliche' and high school, but you've got to battle immaturity with immaturity, right??

 

[Varitek]

Hey just get a male friend who's tough enough to pretend to be your boyfriend/protector for a while and you may well get rid of him. At least it works at a club when a sketchy guy is trying to dance with you! good luck!!

 

[anitram]

In these situations, you have to be blunt. Nothing else works with these people.

Unfortunately you will find that some men will persist in behaving like that even as adults. I had a friend who turned down a guy 4 times and told him he was making her feel uncomfortable by persistently asking her to dinner and he STILL kept asking because he was under the impression that if she could only see him for the nice guy he was, she'd change her mind. Newsflash: we see you and what we see, we don't like. It sounds mean, but sometimes it's just true.

He sounds like the sort of guy who isn't going to get subtle hints, so you gotta just rip the proverbial band aid off.

 

[martha]

I really hate it when women think they have to have men fight for them to get other guys to leave them alone.

If he can't take your NO, then you need to get an adminstrator involved. High school administrators are trained to deal with fuckheads like him. Let him get a taste of his future: Leave the woman alone or the law comes down on your pathetic ass.

 

[Lila64]

 

[VertigoGal]

the thing is, I know I'd never go to an admin about him. he hasn't really done anything to deserve it, and he's really, really (too) sweet. which makes it harder. it's not like he really tries to make moves on me, he just *always* wants to talk and it's a pain in the ass. he'll get the message eventually I suppose.

 

[Varitek]

I really hate it when women think they have to have men fight for them to get other guys to leave them alone.

If he can't take your NO, then you need to get an adminstrator involved. High school administrators are trained to deal with fuckheads like him. Let him get a taste of his future: Leave the woman alone or the law comes down on your pathetic ass.

Going to an administrator about anything in high school can be embarassing for the student, much as administrators may or may not want to help. (I know at my school that problem and many others would have been ignored, they were too busy worrying about bra straps and an inch of middrift showing.) So if her words aren't working, and she's reached her limit, it's an alternative she can consider. Hell she could get a girl to pretend to be her girlfriend, too - I've done that in uncomfortable situations if a girl is more handy than a guy. The other person as a decoy is an easier way of getting rid of someone.