Quarter Life Crisis...

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Oh, that's why commuting 60 miles a day and busting my ass at work 45+ hours a week doesn't pay me enough to move out of my parents' house and even have a life of my own! I get it now! I have a huge clothing discount but I can't afford to use it much. I work in Partytown USA but I have to settle for looking in the windows as I drive straight home to conserve gas for the next day's drive, and anyway, the $10 I could have drank away would be better used buying another roll of tokens to get over the toll bridge. I'll stop my slacking right now!

I understand tough love...but I'm not looking for the easy way out, and I'm no slacker. I'm not sure what I want to do with my life, and I'm not where I thought I would be at almost-26. So please excuse my sarcasm.
 
diamond said:

OK, cliche my ass!!! I'm not gonna coddle you when I tell you that your post was totally out of line when you claimed that their belly-aching was laughable in light of the world's events...

These kids are busting their assess trying to make their ends meet and its just not there..while you may have encountered a recent change of lifestyle, tell me, did you not suffer during your twenties or were you always self-sustaining and able to pull it off..????

I've got 3 working adult children who, in their lifetime, will never be able to pull in a salary that can render then capable of owning their own house or driving a car without a payment...none of them have a college degree...so how tough must it be for these kids that do have degrees to make it work for them??? to just push them aside is not the right thing to do...Do I feel sorry for their positions, sure do...do I think they made right choices? I can't say cause I don't know them but I wouldn't claim they were bellyaching or pissing on my shoe...

You seem quite insensitive to the subject; it didn't warrant a cute smilie or one-phrase answer....
 
Thanks for your support, Mr. BAW. :up:

Just to be clear: we're not complaining about the fact that we've been granted the privilege of higher education, or even about the massive student loans we've incurred in pursuit of our goals (an increasingly large group of us, including myself). My concern is that I've put ten years into my education, excelled academically, even had one of my papers published in an academic journal, and now, I cannot find work in my field. I'm not hoping to afford a fancy car or even the U2 iPod. I just want to stand on my own two feet and be a productive member of society. I want to put my education to good use, but the economy is in shambles, and it's a full time job in itself trying to find work. I'm not looking to be coddled or babied, I just need someone to give me a chance.

*rant finished*
 
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Mr. BAW said:


OK, cliche my ass!!! I'm not gonna coddle you when I tell you that your post was totally out of line when you claimed that their belly-aching was laughable in light of the world's events...

These kids are busting their assess trying to make their ends meet and its just not there..while you may have encountered a recent change of lifestyle, tell me, did you not suffer during your twenties or were you always self-sustaining and able to pull it off..????

I've got 3 working adult children who, in their lifetime, will never be able to pull in a salary that can render then capable of owning their own house or driving a car without a payment...none of them have a college degree...so how tough must it be for these kids that do have degrees to make it work for them??? to just push them aside is not the right thing to do...Do I feel sorry for their positions, sure do...do I think they made right choices? I can't say cause I don't know them but I wouldn't claim they were bellyaching or pissing on my shoe...

You seem quite insensitive to the subject; it didn't warrant a cute smilie or one-phrase answer....

No kidding! It's so much easier to denigrate those who are saying there is a problem than to accept that there is indeed a problem. Just because Fred has a broken leg doesn't mean that Jack shouldn't get his broken arm treated (or that Jack can't say his arm hurts).
 
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Thanks Indra...to Dandy, I understand your revolt....I reacted to the commentary of "slackers, belly-achers, drama laughable to world events" which I sense as unjust as a response to the situation.

:)
 
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diamond said:
i think all the young slackers need to suck it up.

on a global scale your dramas are quite laughable.

i love u still, but not your bellyaching.
thank u,

db9


we'll all be sure to tell you the same next time something goes wrong in your life :up:




Thank you mr baw :)
 
Stuff like this is why I never post anything personal here-it must be nice diamond to sit on your high horse and make comments like that. People should feel comfortable here to post things like this w/ out putting up w/ that. At least you could keep it private if you really feel the need to do it.

Maybe humble thyself a bit...
 
Despite diamond's typical Republican insensitivity, I blame this on a few things:

1) The economy is still in a recession, especially in regards to employment. I don't give a rat's ass about corporate profits, which says that we haven't been in a recession since 2001/2002.

2) Concentration of employment. A hundred years ago, people didn't migrate that far, and jobs were located appropriately. Fast forward 60 years and interstate highways gutted local communities in favor of large cities. Fast forward 20-30 years from there, and now we only need a couple of job centers in the largest cities (think LA or NYC, for instance) to cover the entire nation. The challenge right now is that even this is changing. We only need a couple of centers to cover the entire world, and with the allure of cheap labor and tax incentives to outsource, any language-independent position is threatened with being sent abroad. Hence, soon enough, most entry-level jobs will likely be sent abroad, with CEOs/executives remaining in the U.S.

3) Internships. Sure, we had the 13th Amendment that banned slavery and "involuntary servitude," but who needs slaves these days when we can "force" high school students to "volunteer" and have college students "pay" their college/university to "intern" for free? Hence, there is little to no incentive for businesses to expand their hiring of entry-level workers, and with such an uncertain economy, we have unemployed experienced workers and employed experienced workers who lost their ass on their stock-invested 401K and won't be retiring anytime soon.

Overall, there certainly are things that politicians could do to help improve on this economy, aside from tax cuts, but they won't do it, because their allegiance is to business, not the people. Bush more than made it clear in the debates that he thinks the only people that are unemployed in this country are uneducated racial minorities. Well, with attitudes like that, expect more of the same for a long time.

Melon
 
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Mr. BAW said:


OK, cliche my ass!!! ....

Mr BAW,
Cool your jets.

When I said 'cliche':wink: that was in to response to when you posted the word "communication".
I didn't imply all the younger kids' problems were cliche', you may have interpreted that.


The word 'communication' is abundantly obviously needed by those who are in a morose frame of mind.

I personally happen to think a 'woe is me -attitude'and 'self -absorption' compounds to a young indivual's life when saddled with some of the challenges listed in this thread.

My life isn't entirely roses, I have medical bills, car payments and I barely manage to pay my bills on time sometimes. I can dwell on this or I can choose to look on the bright side, thats my point in my posts in this thread.:)

here are some appropiate lyrics-

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination



Mr BAW, sorry your kids are having a tough time, it must be rough on them:hug:. I'm glad they have you as a compassionate father that will listen to them.

Anyway take care I'm bowing out of this thread and do hope I made a little sense to some people here.

peace,
diamond
 
i really apologize to the kids here that are caught in the middle of a rut right now.
u will find that if you work thru it, when u reach my age you will find that your current problems weren't so bad after all.:)

sorry if any of you thought i was trivializing or minimizing your pain, i didn't mean to.:hug:
you will make it and later on in your lives, you will realize that it wasn't so bad after all:hug:

peace,

db9:)
 
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Very nice diamond. If you had said it that way in the first place, perhaps there wouldn't have been a problem. The words you used to communicate sounded insensitive and a bit harsh and judgmental.

While I agree that it is not helpful to be self absorbed and it is helpful to look on the bright side, it's also not helpful to come across to people the way you did, even though you didn't mean to. That's all :)
 
I remember going through this myself, back in the late '80s/early '90s when I graduated from college and started working in the "real world." Back then no one had a word for it though. I'm over it now (yes, it doesn't last forever, take heart!) I guess now I have to look forward to my looming mid-life crisis. :huh:
 
Bono's shades said:
I guess now I have to look forward to my looming mid-life crisis. :huh:

Exactly! You just jump out of the frying pan and into the damned fire! Trust me...any way you go you're screwed. :(

On the bright side...everyone else is too! :D

(hey, I take my comfort where I can get it!)
 
Melon,

I agree with your sentiments. I also live in Michigan, and across the board a lot of high paying jobs have been lost here and have been replaced with lower paying jobs.

I'm lucky that I started my current job in 1996, during the boom of the '90's. Our company has fired and otherwise gotten rid of a lot of jobs (without layoffs though, by just cutting out the "fat" and not replacing retirees). Things are not as good now, and the future doesn't look promising. I haven't had a decent raise since 1999. But if I leave the company, I am sure to work more hours and make less money somewhere else. And I do enjoy my work, although I'm not anywhere near where I thought I'd be at 29.

Being smart, capable, and well educated doesn't guarantee a good job anymore; in the meantime, college tuition is rising sky high. There's got to be something wrong with this picture.

My grandfather died last year, and I was complaining to him in 2002 about how were. He laughed and said things were a lot like they are now when he was my age except that college was a lot more affordable. John F. Kennedy was his favorite president.

He also told me something that I won't forget; he said that life doesn't really begin or start to get good until you're 30. He told me to hold in there, that things will get better. I hope so.

Nate
 
i'm with everyone here. i have 5 years of university with a BSc and a certiciate as well and guess what i'm doing for a living...I"M A SECRETARY!!!!!

i can barely get anything in my field and the jobs i can get the salries are laughable. my secretary job pays more than what i would be making in my "professional" field of study. :madspit:

i am $30 000 in student loan debt for my obviously useless degree. with that and all my other bills i am unable to live on my own. i'm 26 years old and have to live with 2 roomates for the indefiante future b/c my loan payment is the size of a car payment and i'm drowning in debt b/c of it. i'm actually going to have to find a second parttime job just to make ends meet.

if i would have known my life would end up like this i wouldn't have wasted so many years studying for a career that i will never have. :sigh:
 
If your loans are federally-based and your payments consume over 20% of your income, you can get the payments reduced. Secondly, if you are only working part-time jobs, that is a legitimate excuse for indefinite forbearance. The idea behind student loans was not to be an unbearable burden or to ruin your credit.

Now if they are bank-based, I don't know what to tell you. Your options are far more limited.

Just to let you know!

Melon
 
melon said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis



And my "personal favorite":



So, come one, come all...how many here are in a so-called "Quarter Life Crisis"? I certainly am. I've got an M.A. that is seemingly getting me nowhere. I've applied to dozens and dozens of jobs, only to hear nothing back. I would want to move to NYC or LA, but have no money to do so, and my resumes to those cities are probably being sent to the trash, thanks to me living in crappy old worthless Michigan. I sit at home and bitch endlessly on the internet, while I make follow up calls to HR reps who probably dislike me calling. Of course, even then, that's such an improvement over the vast majority of posted jobs that I will never hear a peep out of, despite the fact that I'm more than qualified for them.

Then I want to move to Toronto to be with the only person I still love in this shitty world and it will cost me about USD $4000 combined in legal fees and application fees to get a permanent residency application through. So still, I need to get a shitty fucking job just so I can apply to move to the only place I want to be anymore so I can work there.

And, yet, after three months of being graduated, I'm still no closer to finding a job. How do you compete with people for a job that involves little more than making coffee and sticking your nose in someone's ass for a year, just so you can no longer be considered "entry-level"? Should I mention my cappuccino making skills make me a "great asset" for "their team"?

I feel as if the last six years of my life in college have been an utter waste of money. Being unemployed was something I could have done without $50,000 of student loan debt. And then there's that whole issue of "networking." Oh yes...I worked on that over the past six years, only to find that, now, my e-mails, 9 times out of 10, are no longer answered--one of which belonging to an "industry alumnus" from Emerson College that is supposed to answer these (through a program through Career Services)! I'm grossly tired of trying to contact people who clearly don't give a shit about me...and why should they? Oh that's right. That's how you get jobs in the "New Economy." Fuck talent. It's all about "who you know," rather than "what you know." And we have a President who certainly epitomizes that, that's for sure!

Now I've just got this sinking feeling that all of my talents are just doomed to get wasted in pointless "sales jobs" that advertise "opportunity," but are nothing more than a good place to waste 80 hours of your week. After all, you're young. You don't need a life and they don't want to hire two employees that work 40 hours a week. No, that would require giving two people half-assed insurance packages that require excessive co-pays and still don't amount to shit, along with a pay check that still doesn't cover rent.

What a waste, indeed, and God forbid I be able to move abroad. Europe is sealed tighter than a treasure chest...except, of course, for their citizens that live in the U.S. and take away all our jobs. Oh yes, the U.S. is the "land of opportunity" for everyone but American citizens, because immigrants serve the utmost most important function for Big Business of expanding the supply pool of labor and driving down wages. After all, their old cranky senior citizen shareholders want their ivory back scratcher down in "Sanibel."

Arrrrrgh. So, again, come one, come all! This is a most depressing forum, so there's got to be others like me. So post your grievances in great detail. It probably won't change a damn thing: the world will still look grossly hopeless and insult your intelligence the next morning, but maybe you'll feel a bit better by writing it down. I certainly do!

Melon

i'm sorry to hear about this, melon.

what can i say? this whole "it's not what you know, it's who you know" is something i keep getting lucky with. i start my new job next week as a result, so i can't complain.

but again, i'm one of the lucky ones.

i hope things turn around for you in a big way. :up:
 
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Interesting thread.. sorry to hear about the trouble you are facing, melon. :hug: Thanks for telling us about that book's author.. I had no idea he was a closeminded elistist.

I find myself in an odd situation.. I have a good job, at a big company, make good money, but I do not like the work at all. I find it understimulating and unsatisfying. I do it, and do it well, but I feel like I am wasting my talent, creativity, compassion and people-skills. This has been a driving force for me to find what I want to do with my life, and to begin a long journey to getting into a grad program where I can learn two new subjects so I can teach and hopefully go on to be a professor. Did I mention pay out of pocket? (Unfortunately my job doesn't pay well enough to make the cost negligable!) While computer jobs can be outsourced, I don't think teaching jobs can, at least not yet anyway. We'll see how it goes.
 
i thin i've been going through this quarter-life crisis since i was 16. :|
 
Things are feeling a wee bit hopeful these days. Overall, I'm really glad the new U2 album didn't grossly disappoint me like ATYCLB did for me. I don't think I could have handled it otherwise. :|

I think I'm going to head to NYC for a week in December to try and look for a job. But what if I come back completely empty handed? This stress is getting to me. :|

But one step at a time, I guess.

Melon
 
melon said:
Things are feeling a wee bit hopeful these days. Overall, I'm really glad the new U2 album didn't grossly disappoint me like ATYCLB did for me. I don't think I could have handled it otherwise. :|

I think I'm going to head to NYC for a week in December to try and look for a job. But what if I come back completely empty handed? This stress is getting to me. :|

But one step at a time, I guess.

Melon


i've got nothing of value to say...but allow me to wish you luck on finding something.
 
I don't think anyone (most, anyway) in America is happy. Until we start changing the future for the average American, we're going to all go insane. Mark my words...in the coming years we're going to see more violence, more crime, and more hostility across the board. It's only a matter of time until the have-nots, who do most of the work, get fed up and demand a living wage.

I work 30 hours a week, because the hours of the job are weird. I don't drive a fancy car, I don't have kids, I don't have expensive material possessions, and I still can't save any money. It's sad that honest people with good, moral hearts can't enjoy anything beside the bare necessities.
 
Danospano said:
I don't think anyone (most, anyway) in America is happy. Until we start changing the future for the average American, we're going to all go insane. Mark my words...in the coming years we're going to see more violence, more crime, and more hostility across the board. It's only a matter of time until the have-nots, who do most of the work, get fed up and demand a living wage.

I really don't know. I've been reading about the Ukrainian election the past couple days, where you had 200,000 people of the opposition candidate protest a close election where the exit polls showed that their candidate would win, but didn't. Remind you a wee bit of a certain election we just had? But, instead, our "opposition candidate" concedes under pressure from whiny Republicans, and God forbid we protest anything coherent in this country. I guess protesting an election wouldn't have been as "fun" or "cool" as a WTO riot.

We already have the "have-nots," but they vote on "values." Alabama is a certifiable mess, and a combination of the Christian Coalition and Bush undermined their last governor who tried to fix it. He ended up losing in the primary for his re-election, if I remember right.

Maybe I'm a cynic, but I also know that we're now eclipsing into a middle-aged to advanced democracy, where apathy and diversion legislation is a hallmark. Yet, Ukraine and Georgia (the nation, not the state) are both new democracies, so I guess that our priorities are different.

I'm not saying necessarily that the U.S. should have protested the election like Georgia or Ukraine. All I'm saying is that I really doubt we can motivate anyone in this country anymore--or, at least, on the left.

I'd like to try and remotivate the left constructively, but I haven't a clue how to organize and fund such an organization. :huh:

Melon
 
melon said:
If your loans are federally-based and your payments consume over 20% of your income, you can get the payments reduced. Secondly, if you are only working part-time jobs, that is a legitimate excuse for indefinite forbearance. The idea behind student loans was not to be an unbearable burden or to ruin your credit.

Now if they are bank-based, I don't know what to tell you. Your options are far more limited.

Just to let you know!

Melon

my loan payment is about 25% of my income but in canada payments are set up with respect to gross income instead of net and is based on this monthy income as well as the size of your monthly payment. according the the federal gov't i make $10 too much a month to allow me for intrest relief. i can if i wish extend the amount of years to pay it back from 9 1/2 to 12 but that would only make me have to pay something like $6000 more by the end of the payment term.

i think i am going to struggle with it for as long as possible and get a part time job to help out.

thanks for the help anyway. i could use all the options and help i can get nowadays. :D
 
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Yeah, when I reconsider going back to school (just to have a reason for happiness and to hopefully better my circumstances) I'm reminded how much money it would cost and how I'd be paying back the loans for the rest of life, thus creating a perpetual burden for the rest of my life. That doesn't sound like a prudent decision, so I'm left in a limbo where I hate my job, my life, my future, and I see no point in returning to school.

As for the Kiev debacle and protests: I admire their resilence and passion. I tried to get active in policy and reform back in 2000 with the Green Party and Ralph Nader, but despite the logical soundness of their arguments, hardly anyone supported it. Now, that Nader represents the nadir of public opinion, I wonder if it will ever gain strength again?

Everyone keeps repeating..."stay the course...don't give up...it will get better"...but I don't see anyone attempting to make it better. those are just words, and as the saying goes, "a bumper sticker never changed the world".
 
Danospano said:
Yeah, when I reconsider going back to school (just to have a reason for happiness and to hopefully better my circumstances) I'm reminded how much money it would cost and how I'd be paying back the loans for the rest of life, thus creating a perpetual burden for the rest of my life. That doesn't sound like a prudent decision, so I'm left in a limbo where I hate my job, my life, my future, and I see no point in returning to school.


Dano, you've just hit my nail squarely on the head. I sometimes feel like a loser for never having continued with college, and when people asked me about not continuing school I told them jokingly, "I like making money more than doing schoolwork". The truth is, I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do when I was 18, and on top of that I had heard horror stories from others saying once they graduated they couldn't find a decent job, and that scared me more than the prospect of finding a job asap and working for a living right then and there.

I'd love to go back to school, since now I have done some growing up and ideas on what I want to do but like you said, it's so expensive and I find myself in a rock and a hard place.

No wonder this country is going to shit. :sigh:
 
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